By Hal McCoy
UNSOLICITED OBSERVATIONS from The Man Cave, spending too many hours trying to figure out why the Cincinnati Reds are using papier mache bats these days.
—JUST CALL SAL: I’m going to beat and whip this horse until it crosses the wire in first place: Sal Stewart first, JJ Wetherholt second.
Sal Stewart has produced 19 percent of the runs scored by the Cincinnati Reds. JJ Wetherholt has produced 8 percent of the runs scored by the St. Louis Cardinals.
And with what surrounds Stewart in the lineup, compared to what surrounds Wetherholt, it is almost unfair.
Houston’s Yordan Alvarez is the odds-on favorite to win the American League MVP award. He has 88 RBI. Sal Stewart leads baseball with 97.
Home runs? Sal 27, JJ 16.
RBI? Sal 97, JJ 47.
Doubles? Sal 25, JJ 14.
Runs? Sal 72, JJ 86 (JJ bats leadoff and Sal is left standing on base too often).
Hits? Sal 130, JJ 118.
Stolen bases? Sal 12, JJ 13.
And if one wants to get esoteric about it with the analytics stuff. . .
Slash Line? Sal .262/.332/.480. JJ .243/.346/.372.
OPS? Sal .809, JJ .723.
And by the way, Stewart has hit five three-run home run this season that put the Reds ahead in games they won.
And by the way, Stewart is hitting .328 with runners in scoring positionl
And by the way, Stewart has 44 RBI with two strikes on him.
But Wetherholt can field ground balls and throw ‘em to first base while hitting below the Mendoza Line since the All-Star break.
And it isn’t professional for a baseball writer to root for or against a team or a player, but with glee I saw that on Friday night against Detroit Wetherholt went 0 for 5 with four strikeouts. So sue me.
So is there any doubt? Unfortunately, it seems, yes, there is.
—RALEIGH’S RETREAT: What is it they say about how the mighty fall. Seattle catcher Cal Raleigh, a mighty man last season, is on his way to a Humpty-Dumpty fall.
After crushing 60 home runs last season, so far this season he has hit only 14. But that’s not his biggest plunge.
He is hitting .157 and is jogging toward the lowest batting average in MLB history for any hitter with 500-plus plate appearances.
The lowest of the low was Chris Davis, .168 in 2018. Adam Dunn hit .159 for the 2011 Chicago White Sox, but he only had 496 plate appearances.
—HE WASN’T RIB-BING: Former Cincinnati Reds infielder Darrel Chaney tells a story that emphasizes that pitcher Bob Gibson was meaner than a bear with a sore foot.
“My first two times up facing him, he strikes me out,” said Chaney. “My third time up I hit a line drive that ricochets off his knee.
“He retrieved the ball and threw me out,” he added. “As I’m running near the mound, head down running to the dugout, I hear him say, ‘Hey, rookie, don’t ever do that again.’
“And sure enough, my next time up in the ninth inning he hit me right in the ribs with his first pitch.”
And Pete Rose?
“If Gibby threw a couole pitches high and tight on me, I ainn’t gonna yell at him. If I yell at Gibby he’s gonna whip my ass.”
—WORKING FOR YOU: Cincinnati Reds pitcher Jim Maloney pitched what has to be the most unbelievable no-hitter in MLB history.
It was in 1965 in Wrigley Field against the Chicago Cubs.
Why so unbelievable?
It was 1-0. It was 10 innings. He threw 187 pitches. He struck out 12. But get this. He walked 10. How do you walk 10 and pitch a no-hit shutout?
Only three balls were hit to the outfield and the game ended when Maloney coaxed a game-ending double play from Ernie Banks.
“I felt great all the way,” said Maloney. Any manager who permitted a pitcher to throw 187 pitches in today’s game would be either managing in Paducah the next day or standing in an unemplyment line.
“I was in some jams (a lot of them), but I was able to get some pop-ups and ground balls,” he said. “I wasn’t real sharp today, I had a lot of walks.”
A lot?
Mark Allan, the former WDTN-TV (channel 2) sports anchor, attended that game when he was 10. He kept a scorecard and sent it to Cooperstown.
Ah yes, Mark. Channel 2, always working for you.
—JUST SIT DOWN: Stories are rampant about the exploits of pitcher Satchel Paige in the old Negro Leagues. Some might actually be true.
Legendary Negro League player and historian Buck O’Neill tells this one.
“We were in Denver and I was playing third base,” said O’Neill. “An opposing player called him an overrated darkie. So Satch had all the fielders, all but the catcher, come to the mound and kneel behind him. He then struck out the side on nine pitches.”
Do you belived that? I want to believe it.
—ANYBODY WANNA PITCH: After watching so many mediocre starting pitchers throw their best games of the season and mesmerize the Reds, I’m convinced Dog The Bounty Hunter, Snoop Dogg and Ralph Kramden could hold the Reds to no runs and one hit over five innings.
Or maybe it would be the person on so many pieces of mail I receive, ‘Current Resident.’
—NO CAKE, PLEASE: When my 86th birthday gets close in a couple of months, Nadine is going to ask me if I want a cake and I’m going to say, “No, because the candles will cost more than the cake.”
—TRIVIA TIME: Stuff that I find randomly or loyal readers send me:
—In the days of Cy Young, catcher’s gloves were barely as thick as winter mittens, And Young reportedly threw hard, very hard, so his catcher tucked a beefsteak under the glove.
There is no verification that Young’s ‘heater’ cooked the beefsteak.
—The eight fastest tracked assists by infielders this season: Elly De La Cruz (99.8) De La Cruz (99.8), De La Cruz (99.7), De La Cruz (99.2), De La Cruz (98.8), Gabriel Arias (98.5), De La Cruz (98.3), De La Cruz (97.9)
How did Gabriel Arias slip in there? And wonder if any of De La Cruz’s throws were for errors? Just being a bit contrary and cantankerous.
—QUOTE MACHINE: Baseball people say the darndest things:
—FROM former pitcher Curt Schilling, talking about the steroids era: “I would pat teammates on the ass and they’d say, ‘Don’t hit me there, man, it hurts.’ That was because that’s where they shot their steroid needles.”
—FROM former Reds outfielder Ethan Allen: “I don’t care how big they make the gloves, you still have to catch the ball.” (If they make gloves any bigger, outfielder’s can catch butterflies between pitches.)
—From former catcher/broadcaster/comedian Bob Uecker when broadcaster Howard Cosell asked him if he knew what truculent meant: “Sure. If you had a truck and I borrowed it, that would be the truck you lent.”
—FROM former Orioles general manager Hank Peters: “You build the club for the immediate season, not the long-range future. The future is now.” (Not for the Cincinnati Reds. They’ve been pursuing the future since 1990 and still haven’t caught up.)
—PLAYLIST NUMBER 202: As William Shakespeare put it, “The earth has music for those who listen.”
—Hot Fun In The Summertime (Sly & The Family Stone), Spinning Wheels (Blood, Sweat & Tears), Jean (Oliver), Hurt So Bad (Linda Ronstadt), Goin’ Out Of My Head (Little Antony & The Imperials), Baby, It’s You (Smith), One (Three Dog Night).
—Get Together (Youngbloods), Get Back (Beatles & Billy Preston), Baby, I Love You (Andy Kim), Green River (Credence Clearwater Revival), Only The Strong Survive (Jerry Butler), Wedding Bell Blues (Starship), Good Morning Star Shine (Oliver).