OBSERVATIONS: ‘Pal Joey’ Comes Out Swinging For B-Jays

By Hal McCoy

UNSOLICITED OBSERVATIONS from The Man Cave, wishing for permanent warm weather because the portable heater is on strike, but not yet seeking free agency.

—JOY FOR JOEY: C’mon, did Aaron Sorkin write this and can we expect to see it soon on Netflix?

Joey Votto appeared in his first spring training game Sunday for the Toronto Blue Jays and one could almost hear dramatic music thrumping in the background.

And on the first pitch he saw from Philadelphia’s Zack Wheeler, a pretty good flinger, Votto lined one 392 feet the opposite way and over the fence.

All together now: “Why didn’t the Cincinnati Reds keep him?”

Votto was happy with the opposite-field homer.

“I felt like this was the swing I was chasing,” he said. “The pull homers are a bit fake. They’re a bit of an illusion.

“If you ask any really, really good hitter, keeping the ball in the center of the field or the opposite field side with some power, with some line, it’s hard to fail with that. It’s hard to feel dissatisfied. I’m ecstatic about that swing.”

Pull homers are fake? It sounds as if Mr. Votto was pulling somebody’s leg.

—WAS THERE THUNDER?: The many current pitchers that vacate the mound with blisters, headaches and sore egos should be told to be seated and listen up.

On August 24, 1919, Cleveland pitcher Ray Caldwell, making his major league debut, was ready to deliver his best fastball in the ninth inning when a lightning bolt struck. And it struck him. Knocked him unconscious.

They finally revived him and guess what he did? He finished the game.

And to make it even more incredible, 17 days later he pitched a no-hitter against the New York Yankees. Did anybody think his fastball was ‘electric’ that day?

—MOVE ELLY NOW: Cincinnati Reds center fielder T.J. Friedl fractured his wrist trying to make a diving catch and could miss considerable time, including Opening Day.

Some might ask, “Why try for a diving catch in a meaningless spring training exhibition game and risk injury?”

Because it is instinctive, it is buried in their genes, especially an all-out all-the-time player like Friedl, all gas and no brakes. And most players play the way they practice.

So with Friedl down and the Reds already thin in outfielders, maybe they can implement The McCoy Plan. That would be to move Elly De La Cruz with his outlandish speed and whip-lash arm from shortstop to center field. He is a five-tool, five-star athlete and the move would be smooth, especially at his young age. He still gets three weeks out of a disposable razor.

The move would not be unprecented. Eric Davis played shortstop and the Reds moved him to center field. Billy Hamilton played shortstop in the minors and the Reds moved him to shortstop.

Make the move, Reds. It isn’t like moving furniture.

—FC FOUL-UP: Laurel Pfahler performs outstanding duty covering the Cincinnati Bengals as a contributing writer for the Dayton Daily News.

And she was doing her job too well in covering the FC Cincinnati soccer team. Her credentials were suspended by FC.

Why? She apparently did something dastardly and ghastly. . .she interviewed somebody outside the inner sanctum of the team about the team and FC was not pleased with the outcome.

Sounds as if she was just doing her job and doing it well. And obviously FC Cincinnnati hasn’t heard about freedom of the press in the U.S. Constitution. It is only in the First Amendment.

—TESTY TREVOR: Trevor Bauer remains jobless and still looking for mound employment.

This appeared on social media: “BREAKING NEWS: RHP Domingo German signs with the Pirates in a one year deal for $1.5 million and a mutual option for 2025.”

To that, Bauer posted on social media: “Lol.” Will somebody ship Trevor a bushel and a peck of sour grapes?

By making fun of another pitcher, an MLB pitcher, Bauer continues to live down to his reputation and set world records in arrogance.

—GIVE ME AN ‘R’: Our regularly-scheduled nugget from Jeff Singleton (The bank closed my checking account, Jeff).

There has been exactly one bases loaded inside-the-park walk-off home run in MLB history. Who did it? The initials are R.C.

It wasn’t Roy Campanella or Roger Clemens. Nor was it Rosie Casals or Randall Cunningham (wrong sports).

It was one of baseball’s all-time greats. . .Roberto Clemente.

—NCAA HEAD-SCRATCHER: The First Four NCAA tournament games in Dayton are fun, fun, fun, but why is it set up the way it is?

Shouldn’t it be all 15 and 16 seeds? Why do four number 10 seeds have to qualify via a play-in game when no seeds from 11 through 15 do?

Who wants to be a No.10 seed and have to play and win an extra game? Give me a seed from 11 through 15 so I don’t have to scratch and claw through an extra game.

Explanation, please?

—THE DUKES DO IT: If Dayton couldn’t win the Atlantic 10 tournament — and they could have but didn’t — it was heart-warming to see Duquesne and its effervescent coach, fellow Akronite Keith Dambrot, win it.

Amazingly, in the A-10 finals against VCU, the 
Dukes led by 16 in the first half, then went more than eight minutes during the second half without scoring and were 0 for 13 from the field.

VCU closed to within one point, but the Duke held on for a 57-51 victory, earning them their first NCAA trip in 47 years, since 1977.

And Dambrot is going out a winner. He announced that he is retiring after the NCAA tournament. The Dukes, a No. 11 seed, open against Brigham Young.

Prediction: Duquense (Why isn’t it pronounced Doo-quez-nee?) beats BYU. Then they’ll play the winner of Illinois-Morehead State. And I wouldn’t bet against them in that one.

—WHAT CAN’T SHE DO? The best college basketball player, pound-for-pound and inch-for-inch, emerges from a post-game shower and puts on lipstick, mascara and sometimes slips into high heels.

But for chromosomes, Iowa’s Caitlin Clark, a female, would be starring at point guard for the Haweyes’ men’s team, or maybe Connecticut, South Carolina or Notre Dame.

What she can’t do on a basketball court is not do-able. She hits three-pointers from downtown Iowa City, her passes are magical, like Magic Johnson, she rebounds like Charles Barkley.

Chicago columnist Bob Verdi once wrote of Magic Johnson and it applies to Caitlin, “He rebounded, hounded, confounded and dumbfounded.”

What she most importantly has done is make the women’s game relevant. Like Taylor Swift to the teen-aged scene, she is must-see.

And what you see you may not believe. As Tina Turner sang it, “Simply the best, better than all the rest.”

—TO CAP IT OFF: Why is it that nearly every basketball coach after a winning game says during his post-game interview about the losing team, “I have to take my hat off to (fill in losing team).”

And you look at him and he isn’t wearing a hat to take off.

—A DEADLY DEADLINE: Many newspaper these days have their editions published by a newspaper in another city — the Cincinnati Enquirer, Columbus Dispatch and the Dayton Daily News, for example.

The Dayton Daily News is now prrinted in Detroit, a 3 1/2-hour drive for trucks to carry papers from Detroit to Dayton. Because of that, the DDN’s deadline each day is 10 a.m. That’s a.m., as in morning, not p.m.

It is not known if the DDN will ask the University of Dayton and the Cincinnati Reds to start games at 4 in the morning so the results can appear in the next day’s paper.

—QUOTES TO QUAFF: Tell me what they said:

From John Felske after the Philadelphia Phillies won their last game to clinch second place: “To celebrate, we didn’ have champagne. We had Ripple on ice.”

From Bob Uecker on facing Don Drysdale: “I put tip-toes in the back of the batter’s box and couldn’t wait until my three pitches were over.”

From former Yankee Tom Tresh on players wearing dirty underwear due to superstition: “They aren’t superstitious, they’re just too cheap to send out their laundry.”

From former manager Bob Lemon when new manager Don Kessinger asked him for advice: “I’d like to help you, but you don’t drink.”

From Kurt Bevacqua on being a part-time player: “I think I hold the MLB career record for most games watched.”

—PLAYLIST NO. 32: And on and on and on and on.

Tears In Heaven (Eric Clapton), I Only Have Eyes For You (The Flamingos), A Teenager In Love (Dion & The Belmonts), You’re Still The One (Shania Twain), I Won’t Back Down (Tom Petty), Go Your Own Way (Fleetwood Mac), Blowin’ In The Wind (Bob Dylan), Uptown Girl (Billy Joel), Jump (Van Halen), Against The Wind (Bob Seger), November Rain (Guns ’N Roses), Massachusetts (The Bee Gees).

You Shook Me All Night Long (AC/DC), Free Bird (Lynyrd Skynyrd), Shout (Isley Brothers), Let Your Love Flow (Bellamy Brothers), Drive (Alan Jackson), Sugar, Sugar (The Archies), China Grove (Doobie Brothers), Working My Way Back To You (The Spinners), Forever Young (Alphaville), Somebody To Love (Queen).

ASK HAL: Some ‘Advice’ For Reds Manager David Bell

By Hal McCoy

Q: Can you recall a prominent example of a top tier player receiving special privileges? — DAVE, Miamisburg/Centerville/Beavercreek.
A: In 1998, Los Angeles Dodgers general manager Kevin Malone enraged the baseball industry by signing free agent pitcher Kevin Brown to a seven-year $105 million deal, the firsrt $100 milllion contract. In addition, LA agreed to provide Brown’s family a free charter airplane to fly back and forth from Georgia for all of his starts. Why is it always the Dodgers? Jim Bowden, GM of the Cincinnati Reds at the time, later said, “I was the GM of a small market team and that $105 million equaled about four years of our entire payroll.” And two years into the contract, the Dodgers traderd
Brown to the New York Yankees. Of course, they did.

Q: What was the best part of spring training for you? — GREG, Albuquerque, NM.
A: I covered spring training in Tampa, Plant City, Sarasota and Goodyear. Sarasota wins by 20 lengths. I had a condo on Siesta Key where I could walk out the door, turn left, take 10 steps and I was on the sugar-like beach. Oh yeah, and there was some fun baseball involved.

Q: Your thoughts on Joey Votto and Jack McKeon as Hall of Famers? — ANDY, Cincinnati.
A: I’m straddled on the fence for Votto and all I need is a slight push. As for Trader Jack, I’m already in Cooperstown pushing him over the fence. From making massive trades as GM of the San Diego Padres to winning a World Series for the then Florida Marlins, McKeon has done it all. And he should be in the cigar Hall of Fame, too.

Q: Would you rather extend the contracts now of Matt McLain or Elly De La Cruz? — SHAUN, Huber Heights.
A: Whoa. Slow down. Neither one has a full season of MLB experience and are under club control for several years. There is no need for any extensions in the immediate future. Let them play it out for a couple pf years, see if they are for real, before filling their bank accounts with a armored car full of $100 bills.

Q: Since you are batting .1000 any time a manager asked for your advice, what would you suggest to Reds manager David Bell? — BOB, Powell, OH.
A: Yes, Lou Piniella asked me for advice in 1990, the first and last time a manager put me on the spot. My advice to Bell would be to move Elly De La Cruz to center field, move Matt McLain to shortstop and permit Jonathan India to keep second base. If he asks what I would do with center fielder T.J. Friedl, I would shrug my shoulders or act as if I didn’t hear him.

Q: Is there any plausible reason why Dave Concepcion is not in the Hall of Fame? — RYAN, Englewood.
A: I’m asked this question once every fortniight, sometimes twice. I always answer, “No plausiblle reason.” He was the best shortstop of his era. Maybe the voters think there are already too many Big Red Machinists haunting the Hall. I always tell Davey he should have learned the back flip the way Ozzie Smith did it on the field. Smith is in the Hall and Concepcion was as good, if not better, than Smith.

Q: Do you have a favorite Opening Day game story? — ROBERT, Big Canoe, GA.
A: So many, so many. I covered more than 40. My least favorite was the day umpire John McSherry died of a heart attack near the screen behind home plate. I’ll never forget shortstop Pokey Reese’s Opening Day debut. He made four errors. Owner Marge Schott had elephants from the Cincinnati Zoo on the field before the game. After the game, Pokey told me, “The way I played, I should have been following those elephants with a trash bag, but I probably would have missed.”

Q: Are MLB players required to wear a hat/cap on the field at all times? ¸— BILL, Villa Hills, Ky.
A: Oddly, no. Nothing in the official rules addresses hats. But a player would be foolhardy not to wear one. A cap’s bill shades eyes for tracking fly balls in the sun or the lights, prevents sun-burned foreheads, absorbs perspiration and I’m told that women dig men in hats. And at last count (by Nadine), I have 27 baseball hats, some of which I actually wear.

Q: The Dodgers are moving Mookie Betts from outfield to shortstop and do you recall any other All-Star outfielders moving from the outfield to shortstop? — AL, Columbus.
A: I barely missed covering him, but Ed Delahanty played for the Philadelphia Phillies from 1888 to 1903 and moved from the outfield to shortstop/second base late in his career. He’s the only other one I could find. Usually it is the other way. A lot of players have moved from shortstop to the outfield. But Betts is so talented it won’t matter. He can play anywhere and anything, probably even the bagpipes.

OBSERVATIONS: Why is Montras Starting On Opening Day?

By Hal McCoy

UNSOLICITED OBSERVATIONS from The Man Cave, getting the silent treatment from Nadine because my alma mater, No. 8-seeded Kent State, upset her alma mater, No. 1 seeded Toledo, 65-59, in the MAC tournament. Hey, sweetheart, it wasn’t my fault that Tooley-Do could not throw the ball into Lake Superior from the deck of the Edmund Fitzgerald.

—YOU COMPLETE ME: Another amazing factoid from Jeff Singleton (I’m all out of blank checks, Jeff):

LA’s Clayton Kershaw is acknowledged as one of the best pitchers throwing strikes these days. For his career, Kershaw has 25 complete games.

Bob Gibson of the St. Louis Cardinals had 25 complete games in one season. When somebody was brave enough to try to take him out of a game, Gibson would afix them with his death stare and say, “You’ll have to have a Magnum .357 to pry this baseball from my dead right hand.”

And while we’re babbling about pitching, is Frankie Montas the right guy to pitch Opening Day in the great American pastime at Great American Ball Park for the Cincinnati Reds?

The guy has appeared in exactly nine MLB games the past two seasons, 1 1/3 innings last season, and so far this spring has done a credible job of impersonating a batting practice machine.

In three appearances he has given up eight runs and 12 hits over 7 1/3 innings, a 9.39 earned run average. Sure, it is only spring training, but. . .

—YAKETY-YAK: MLB took a poll of players to discover who are the most friendly infielders, guys who talk to the opponents when they are on base.

The winner was the always smiling first baseman, Freddie Freeman and second was Francisco Lindor.

While with the Cincinnati Reds, first baseman Joey Votto tied for fifth with Paul Goldschmidt and Ozzie Albies.

One thing is certain. If Sean Casey still played, he would win in a landslide. The Mayor could carry on a conversation with a pogo stick.

—WHAT’S THE HITCH?: Baseball players getting married at home plate before a game and walking under crossed bats held by teammates is not uncommon, almost a cliche.

But there was one back in the day talked about by former Cincinnati Reds infielder Don Hoak that was uncommon.

While he was playing for the Fort Worth Cats in the old Texas League, he and three teammates got hitched at home plate before a game. Four teammates muttering their vows at the same time.

“Then we went out and tried to play a game,” saId Hoak. We lost to the Tulsa Drillers and the four of us combined for four errors.”

—QUICK RECOVERY ACT: Chris Holtmann, fired mid-season as Ohio State basketball coach, quickly landed on his feet. . .well, maybe one foot.

Perhaps anxious to take the first job offered, he accepted the position at DePaul, not exactly college basketball’s Garden of Eden.

DePaul hasn’t been relevant since the 1980s
under Hall of Fame coach Ray Meyer and the Blue Demons played in a gym just slightly bigger than a study hall.

DePaul now plays in 10,000-seat state of the art Wintrust Arena, with 400 club seats and 22 suites, so Holtmann has the facility.

But can he recruit to a school in a shady and shaky part of inner-city Chicago? And he must compete for players with Loyola Chicago, Northwestern and even Ilinois.

Holtmann’s replaced at Ohio State on an interim period is assistant coach Jake Diebler. Suddenly, the Buckeyes were engaged and engaging. They won six of their last eight and took Illinois to the final buzzer before losing in the Big Ten tournament.

There is a groundswell to remove the interiim label and give the job to Diebler. Bad idea. He hasn’t paid his dues, hasn’t been a head coach anywhere. The OSU job is high octane, high profile and needs a name coach who has earned his props and chops

—SACK ATTACK: Defensive tackle Aaron Donald is retiring after 10 years of mayhem with the Los Angeles Rams. And Arizona Cardinals quarterback Kyle Murray is dancing in the desert because of it.

During Donald’s career, he sacked Murray seven times, so upon Donald’s retirement Murray posted two words on social media: “Thank God!”

—SOME FLACCO FLAK: A large portion of Cleveland Browns fandom are ready to jump into Lake Erie because their team let Joe Flacco go. The 40-year-old quarterback signed a one-year deal with the Indianapolis Colts.

Flacco became near-legendary when quarterback DeShaun Watson was injured and the Browns signed him. And he was two steps above sensational.

But Watson will be back with his contract larger than the gross national product of Chile, so the Browns are committed to him, even though many fans dislike him because of his excess baggage.

With the Browns hog-tied with Watson, it is probably best to let Flacco go. If he stayed, there would be a constant quarterback controversy, even inside the Browns locker room because Flacco became extremely popular with a large segment of the players.

So the Browns signed Jameis Winston as the back-up, a guy who once threw 33 interceptions in one season.

—WHO ARE YOU, WHO, WHO?: I was toweling myself off at a court-side tennis court at a Miami Beach hotel after playingf a couple of sets with former University of Dayton athletic director Tom Frericks, the man who brought the University of Dayton Arena into reality.

As I got up to leave a man approached and said, “That young lady down there wants to know if you’ll hit some ball with her.” I looked her way and saw a gorgeous blonde in a short white tennis skirt.

“Of course,” I said. She said her name but I didn’t catch it. We hit for about an hour and then she thanked me and left.

A few months later, I was seated in a movie theatre to watch ‘The Heartbreak Kid.’ And I saw her. She wasn’t in a seat munching Good ’N Plentys. She was on the screen.

It was Cybill Shepherd.

I was in a Denver hotel, traveling with the Cincinnati Reds. I stepped into an elevator and there was one person in it. She was, as they say, drop dead gorgeous. We never said a word and I later wanted to kick myself in the posterior for not striking up a conversation.

The next day I picked up a copy of the Rocky Mountain New and her picture was on the front page.

It was Sandra Bulllock.

—QUALITY QUOTES: Out of the mouths of babes. . .and we don’t mean Babe Ruth:

From former Reds manager Sparky Anderson: “You don’t have to be a Harvard professor to be a baseball manager. In fact, you are better off having an IQ like mine.”

From Sparky Anderson (again): “I dont know why players make such a fuss about wanting to sit in first class on our flights. Do they think they’ll get there faster?”

From Hall of Famer and extreme optimist Ernie Banks on the Chicago Cubs ineptitude: “Good things come to those who wait. . .and wait and wait and wait and wait.”

From former DH John Lowenstein on how he stayed ready between at bats: “I flush the toilet between innings to keep my wrists strong.”

From Richie Ashburn when Houston played outdoors before the Astrodome was built: “Houston is the only town where women wear insect repellent instead of perfume.”

From the world of golf and Hall of Famer Sam Snead when he first saw the young Jack Nicklaus when there was a debate over who was bigger, Nicklaus or the Goodyear blimp: “Jack Nicklaus looks as thought he might be two good golfers.”
—PLAYLIST NO. 31: Who knew there are so many great songs. . .and I didn’t until I began this long and winding road:

After All (Peter Cetera & Cher), Up Where We Belong (Joe Cocker & Jennifer Warren), What A Feeling (Flashdance), Diggy, Diggy Lo (Doug Kershaw), Stuck On You (Lionel Richie), One Night With You (Elvis Presley), Forever My Darling (Aaron Neville), Knockin’ On Heaven’s Door (Bob Dylan).

God Only Knows (Beach Boys), How Do You Talk To An Angel (The Heights), Right Here Waiting For You (Richard Marx), Love Story (Taylor Swift), Until I Found You (Stephen Sanchez), Faithful (Lobo) Edge Of Seventeen (Stevie Nix).,

McCoy: It Is One And Done For UD Flyers In A-10 Tournament

By Hal McCoy

Brooklyn, N.Y.— It was an awful night for Knights in White Satin Thursday in the Atlantic 10 tournament.

All four top seeds, all wearing white uniforms, felt the deep string of defeat and elimination.

The third-seeded University of Dayton joined No. 1` seed Richmond, No. 2 Loyola Chicago and No. 4 Massachusetts leaving the scene in the quarterfinals.

The Flyers packed their sweaty gear after losing to Duquesne, 65-57, a team they had easily defeated twice during the regular season.

It was the first time since 2006 that all four top seeds were shown the exit sign on the same day, all four deposited on their collective cannisters.

The Flyers painted themselves into the coffiin corner by getting outscored in the paint, 30-18. And they were outrebounded, 45-28.

Twice down the stretch, when the game was within grasp of either teaam, Duquesne had three shots and scored on the fourth shot.

“We were out of character tonight, way out of character,” said UD coach Anthony Grant after the Flyers fell to 24-7. “You look at the numbers across the board, we really struggled. We couldn’t get a rhythm, we couldn’t get it going, for whatever reason.”

DaRon Holmes II didn’t hit a field goal in the first half and had three points, but burst free in the second half for 21 points. He finished with 24 points and recorded his 12th double-double this season with 13 rebounds.

But he had zero help from his friends. Nate Santos was the only other Flyer in double figures with 10 points, but was 3 for 8. Koby Brea had six, but made only two of his five three-point flings.

Enoch Cheeks scored six on 1 for 7 shooting and Kobe Elvis scored the team’s first basket and scored only one more.

As usual, Holmes was smothered and mauled under the basket as Duquesne looked as if they were all first cousins to a hack saw. He was fouled 12 times and made 13 of 16 free throws.

The Flyers were 16 for 50 (32%) and 7 for 26 from three (26.9%).

It started as poorly as it finished as the Flyers made one of their first 10 shots and fell behind, 14-4. They pecked away until Javon Bennett hit a three just before the halftime buzzer to pull them within two, 30-28.

Holmes scored 12 of the Flyers first 14 in the second half and the Flyers took a 42-39 lead. And they took a 50-46 lead on a three-pointer by Brea with 7:54 left.

And it was 52-48 with 7:15 left, disaster time. Duquesne, winners of six straight after starting its A-10 schedule 0-and-5, went on a 10-0 run to grab a 58-52 lead with 4:10 left.

Once again the Flyers scrambled back to within 58-55, but Jake DiMichele, a freshman walk-on who is a starter, scored underneath to push the Dukes back to a 60-55 lead.

Holmes scored underneath and the Flyers were back within three, 60-57, with 1:15 left, but Jimmy Clark III hit a three as the shot clock expired, giving Duquesne a 63-57 lead and the Flyers were 49 seconds away from extinction.

Duquesne’s guards, Clark and Dae Dae Grant, a transfer from Miami of Ohio, scored 16 and 11.

Grant lamented that his Flyers and the other four seeds didn’t get to practice in the Barclays Center and were seeing the floor for the first time.

And that was the same for the other three defeated seeded teams. All four teams that upset them had a game under their belts.

“It was the first time our guys touched the court and shot on those rims” he said. “I don’t know. Maybe that is part of the reason the top four seeds are no longer playing. It would be nice if you had some time to get a feel for the gym.”

The Flyers uncharacteristically fired up four air balls, including one by Kobe Brea, who seldom misses the rim, let alone everything.

It all came down to the final seven minutes and it was a Duquesne Dance.

“They were able to get into a rhythm the last seven minutes,” said Grant. “There were a couple of plays in the post, they got free for some open threes and their offensive rebounding down the stretch changed the game.

“And for us, offensively,, we just didn’t finish,” he added. “We just could not finish plays tonight, whether it was shots at the rim or open threes. We just had a tough time offensively tonight from an execution standpoint.”

Of the decisive final seven minutes that went Duquesne’s way, point guard Javon Bennett, returning to the lineup after missing two games with a left thumb injury, tried to dissect the messy finish.

“We just couldn’t get any stops whenever it mattered,” he said. “They made tough shots and they were already scoring and that hurt us in the stretch.”

All allong, pundits have said the Flyers are a lock for the NCAA tournament, but losing their first game in the conference tournament might put some doubt in it. For sure, it will hurt their seeding if they do make it.

So now they wait until Sunday, await their fate, as the committee reveals the 68 NCAA participants.

 

OBSERVATIONS: Atlantic 10 Coaches Give Holmes The Hose

By Hal McCoy

UNSOLICITED OBSERVATIONS from The Man Cave, overdosing so much on college basketball that I wonder if it’s Notre Forest against Wake Dame or George Bonaventure against St. Mason. Or is it Sam International against Florida Houston?

—A ‘CO’ WHAT?: Give me a break. Give me two breaks. What were they thinking? Clearly, they were not thinking clearly.

The Atlantic 10 coaches voted to give the University of Dayton’s DaRon Holmes II the Co-Player of the Year. Co?

These are the same coaches, all 14 of them, who make certain that when Holmes possesses the basketball, there are two and many times three defenders chopping and hacking away at Holmes’ bruised body.

It is a wonder Holmes still has two functioning arms.

Holmes shares the award with Richmond guard Jordan King, a nice player, but one who wouldn’t know a double-team from a double play or a double scoop of chocolate chip.

Holmes is on the short list for the John Wooden NATIONAL Player of the Year and is third favorite on the Kenpom web-site for NATIONAL Player of the Year.

And yet in his own league he has to share the award with a player whose name isn’t on any list for NATIONAL Player of the Year.

They should give Holmes, who was named the Atlantic 10’s Defensive Player of the Year, another award. . .The Rodney Dangerfield No Respect Award.

—CALL THE PLUMMER: Another good one left us this week.

Bill Plummer, who spent his time in Cincinnati as Johnny Bench’s back-up catcher, passed away at age 74.

And as Bench’s back-up, he had the same amount of work as the old Maytag repairman. He seldom played, even though he was an outstanding defensive player with a bullet train arm.

With not much playing time, Plummer began accompanying me to tennis courts in every city on the road. I ‘taught’ him how to play and he displayed his athleticism by quickly becoming relatively good.

His serve was like his arm, close to the speed of light. One day I placed a tennis ball can in a corner of the service box and told him, “Try to hit it.”

Hit it? He hit it all right on the first try. . .and bent the can in half.

And he knew the game. . .baseball. He later became manager of the Seattle Mariners for one season.

His career average was only .188, but his special day came during a 1974 game in Philadelphia. He hit two home runs off Hall of Famer Steve Carlton.

“I’ve often wondered how Plummer would do if he got to play every day for two months,” said Pete Rose. “He’s a physical fitness nut and if hard work means anything he woud do all right.”

—A ROSE IS A ROSE: Speaking of Pete Rose, there have been enough books written about him to fill a small town library.

There is another coming out this month and it is the definitive work on baseball’s most fascinating subject. It is called — what else? — Charlie Hustle.

It is written by award-winning journalist and author Keith O’Brien, who seemingly talked to and intervied every person who could spell Pete Rose. And it is reseached so incredibly deep that his Notes and Research credits take 76 pages in the back of the book and the bibliography/index covers 25 more pages.

The well-written jump-off-the-pages words give a well-balanced Good Pete Rose, Bad Pete Rose accounting.

And there is a plethora of stuff that has not appeared anywhere, including all those other Pete Rose books. This one hits the book shelves later this month.

I could not recommend it any higher, a definite can’t-put-it-down book, as solid as a Pete Rose head-first slide.

—PITCH GOOD, STILL LOSE: As we all know, baseball is mostly about pitching, pitching and more pitching. And did we mention pitching?

With that in mind, Nolan Ryan pitched seven no-hitters and never won a Cy Young. Roger Clemens never pitched a no-hitter and won seven Cy Youngs.

And how about Steve Carlton for the 1972 Philadelphia Phillies? He was 27-10 with 30 complete games. The Phillies won 59 games that year.

Ryan lost 16 games for the 1987 Houston Astros with a 2.76 earned run average and 270 strikeouts in 211 innings. But in 34 starts he had zero complete games.

Also in 1972, 22-year-old Bert Blyleven lost 17 games with the Minnesota Twins with a 2.73 ERA. He also won 17.

The old St. Louis Browns were notoriously awful, near-perfect squatters in last place in the American League. Yet in 1951, when the Browns were 52-102, Ned Garver was 20-12 with a 3.73 ERA and 24 complete games.

Roger Craig was a noted pitching coach guru, the godfather of the split-fingered fastball. For him, it was, “Do as I say, not as I did.”

He pitched the first two seasons for the expansion Les Miserable Mets. In 1962 he was 10-24 and in 1963 he was 5-22. But in those two seasons he completed 27 games.

—QUOTE: Some of those guys subscribed to what Sparky Anderson once told me: “The best way to get back on your feet is to get off your ass.”

—THE BRONX WINNERS: The New York Yankees haven’t been The Evil Empire as they once were. Their last two World Series triumphs came in 2009 and 2000.

Despite that, the Yankees incredibly have had 31 straight winning seasons. The closest to them? The Los Angeles Dodgers, The Evil Empire of the West, with 13.

The Cincinnati Reds? One.

—HE WAS A REAL PAYNE: Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn’t. Sometimes it goes south, south of the border.

It seems a good idea when colleges hire their own former player to coach their team. And it was a super idea for the University of Dayton to hire former UD player Anthony Grant.

It was not so fortuitous for Louisville to hire Kenny Payne, even though as a player he helped UofL win a national title.

Payne was fired this week after only two years, two years during which he went 12-52 overall and 5-35 in the ACC.

The record was bad enough, but some of those losses were to Appalachian State, Bellarmine, Lipscomb, Wright Staate, Chattanooga and DePaul. And they were at home in Yum! Center, where the 20,000 seats mostly were occupied by cushions.

And the most unbelievable factor of all. . .during his two seasons, UofL won exactly one road game. One. And we all know that one is the loneliest number.

—BARRY, BARRY GOOD: It is so frustrating watching NBA games. Those guys travel so much on the court they should carry Samsonite suitcases in one arm.

With that thought, I loved what former ABA/NBA superstar Rick Barry said.

“Stop the traveling, stop the carrying (of the ball), stop the moving screens,” he said. “Call the damn game according to the rulebook.”

—A HIGH SCORE: A British bloke attended his first baseball game at Yankee Stadium and left early when the scoreboard read:

Visitors: 100 000 0
Yankees: 100 000 0

A kid outside the stadium asked, “What’s the score?”

Said the bloke, “I don’t know, but it is reaching over a million.”

—Quality Quotes: What they said, but who knows why:

From former California Angels manager Lefty Phillips during a bad season: “Our phenoms aren’t phenominating.”

From controversial Bill Veeck, who at different times owned the Cleveland Indians, St. Louis Browns and Chicago White Sox, when asked what he would do if he were named baseball commissioner: “Resign immediately.”

From former baseball commissioner Happy Chandler on his successor, Ford Frick: “He slept longer than Rip Van Winkle.”

From former player Jim Gantner on missing a team function: “I must have had Ambrosia.”

From former pitcher Mark Langston on how he liked pitching in Montreal: “It’s like a foreign city.”

From former player Mike Lieberthal: “I was only going about three-fourths speed or maybe 75 per cent.”

—PLAYLIST NO. 30: Still listening after all these years:

The Mighty Quinn (Manfred Mann), Alone Again, Naturally (John Kevin Garcia), Pledging My Love (Elvis Presley), Born To Be Alive (Patrick Hernandez), Telephone Line (ELO), Hello Darlin’ (Conway Twitty), If You Leave Me Now (Chicago), Let Your Love Flow (Bellamy Brothers), Piano Man (Billy Crystal).

The Air That I Breathe (The Hollies), Don’t Stop (Fleetwood Mac), Easy (The Commodores), A White Sport Coat And A Pink Carnation (Sonny James), Band On The Run (Wings), If You Could Read My Mind (Gordon Lightfoot), Knowing Me, Knowing You (Abba), Make It With You (Bread).

OBSERVATIONS: Some Votto Facts, Figures And Folderol

By Hal McCoy

UNSOLICITED OBSERVATIONS from The Man Cave, nodding in my agreement with somebody who wrote: “I used to be able to do a cartwheel, but now I tip over putting on my underwear.”

—JOEY THE JAY: It was good to see Pal Joey get a chance with his hometown Toronto Blue Jays. And now it is up to him to make the team. . .and he believes he can and said, “I think I can still bang.”

Ichiro Suzuki, known world-wide as simply Ichiro, is a certain first-ballot electee to the Hall of Fame next year. He will be the first Japanese-born player to make both the Japanase Hall of Fame and the U.S. Hall of Fame.

So how does he compare to Joey Votto? Yes, Ichiro has 935 more hits and 1,989 more plate appearances.

But everybody knows that Votto was a get-on-base robot, getting on base by hook, crook and always by the book.

So consider this: Votto could go 0 for 1,340 and still have a better on base average than Ichiro. Votto drew 1,365 walks to Ichiro’s 647.

Stunning.

And this. Votto’s career on base percentage with runners in scoring position is .471. Only three players in MLB history own higher OBP’s with runners in scoring position — Babe Ruth, Ted Williams and Barry Bonds.

Stunning.

—JOEY TO THE WORLD: Speaking of Joey Votto, he took his first at bat Sunday for the Toronto Blue Jays. A 23-year-old minor leaguer from Brazil named Eric Pardinho struck him out.

“I just struck out Joey Gallo,” he exclaimed.

Uh, wrong Joey, kid. And it wasn’t Joey Wendle, either.

—MASTERFUL MADDUX: Another gem from my top-notch (and unpaid) correspondent Jeff Singleton:

From 1995 to 2003, Atlanta Braves pitcher Greg Maddux had 8,005 pitches called balls out of the strike zone by umpires, who probably missed some. In that span, Maddux faced 8,025 batters. That means he averaged about one called ball to each batter.

Maddux was his own human Control Center.

—STILL LOOKING: Trevor Bauer remains unsigned but, like Joey Votto was, he is still begging for a chance, any chance.

He appeared over the weekend, wearing an Asian Breeze jersey, on a distant back field of the Los Angeles Dodgers spring training complex. He faced a gaggle of Dodgers minor leaguers with no scouts or club officials watching.

He dominated for three innings — four strikeouts and he retired the last eight, even telling a few hitters what pitch was coming.”

Afterwards, he said, “Hopefully, people will remember I’m stiill one of the best pitchers in the world.” (And there is nothing wrong with his confidence. . .or is that ego?)

—NOT THE GREATEST: Muhamad Ali was forever telling everybody, including monks in Tibet, “I am the greatest.” Did you know not even he believed it. He once told a Miami News sports writer that he did it just to sell tickets.

“I never thought I was the greatest. I just said I was,” he said. “How would I know who was the greatest fighter? I don’t know what would have happened if I fought Joe Louis, Jack Dempsey, Rocky Marciano or Jack Johnson.”

Since they are all dead, Ali probably would score a TKO in the third round.

The one year I worked for the Detroit Free Press, I rode in a car with Ali. A large group of people was gathered at a street corner. Ali jumped from the car and right away yelled, “I am the greatest.”

A little girl, about 11 or 12, quickly said, “You can’t be the greatest. God is the greatest.”

Ali was struck silent. . .for about 30 seconds.

—QUOTE: From former heavyweight champion Larry Holmes: “Earnie Shavers hit me harder than any other fighter, even Mike Tyson. He hit me and I was face down on the canvas hearing saxophonist Jimmy Tillis.” (Personally, I’d rather hear the sax played by Charlie Parker, John Coltrane or Stan Getz, as long as Shavers doesn’t hit me.)

—ZIG-ZAGGING AWAY: When San Francisco is scheduled to play Gonzaga, the Dons should walk on the floor waving white surrender flags, then turn around, get dressed in their civvies and go have dinner at Scoma’s in Sausalito.

When the Zags beat them Monday night, 89-77, it was the 30th straight time. San Francisco hasn’t beaten Gonzaga since Christopher Columbus was in the crow’s nest of the Santa Maria.

Gonzaga led by one point at halftime, then went on a 25-10 run in 6 1/2 minutes and built a 63-47 lead under a barrage of three-pointers.

Former University of Dayton guard Mongolian Mike Sharavjamts transferred to San Francisco and is a starter.

—A REAL WORDSMITH: One of the many sports writers I admired was Dallas columnist Blackie Sherrod. Of him and Jim Murray I always said, “I know all those words they write, I just can’t put them together they way they do.”

Here is how Sherrod described a Reggie Jackson (Yankees) at bat against Bob Welch (Dodgers) in the 1978 World Series — ninth inning, two outs, one run LA lead, two men on base:

“Reggie Jackson takes fast balls from young right handers and puts cream and sugar on them. Jackson’s first swing was beautiful. The night was bruised. The baseball wasn’t.”

The count went to 3-and-2 and Sherrod wrote: “The climactic fast ball came. Jackson’s swing caused 12-foot waves off Malibu Beach. It did not alter the course of the oncoming baseball.”

And the mighty Reggie had struck out.

—CREIGHTON TO DAYTON: For the past seven years, ESPN has picked eight teams that could win the NCAA tournament before it begins. And they are seven-for-seven — One of their eight picks has won each year.

And what do they think of the Dayton Flyers? They are one of 20 close-but-no-cigar teams.

“With DaRon Holmes III and an elite cadre of 3-point artisans headed up by Koby Brea, the Flyers will be one of the best shooting teams in the field of 68. Still, while Dayton has the potential to beat any opponent, the fact that this group is the No. 3 seed in this week’s Atlantic 10 tournament additionally suggests Dayton itself can be bested.”

Well, if they check past history, ANY team in the field can be ‘bested.’

So which teams are ESPN’s Elite Eight? UConn, Arizona, Creighton, Duke, Houston, Kentucky, Purdue, Tennessee.

Creighton? They got the ‘ton’ right. But see if the Flyers can replace that ‘Creigh’ with ‘Day.’

—MAILING IT IN: From Tom Melzoni, a great friend living the Life of Riley in Sarasota, God’s Country: “With the price of gas, my mailman is working from home. He calls me to tell me how much my bills are.”

—PLAYLIST NO. 29: All songs from the 1960s that were not included in the previous 28 playlists:

Wouldn’t It Be Nice (The Beach Boys), Ring Of Fire (Johnny Cash), I Can See For Miles (The Who), Hello Walls (Faron Young), The First Cut Is The Deepest (P.P. Arnold), Big Bad John (Jimmy Dean), 96 Tears (? & The Mysterians), Okie From Muskogee (Merle Haggard), It’s The Same Old Song (The Four Tops).

Wings Of A Dove (Ferlin Husky), Walk Away Renee (The Left Bank), Don’t Think Twice, It’s All Right (Bob Dylan), Where Did Our Love Go? (The Supremes), Then He Kissed Me (The Supremes), There Goes My Everything (Englebert Humperdinck, Elvis Presley).

OBSERVATIONS: Was This Why The Reds Signed Candelario?

By Hal McCoy

UNSOLICITED OBSERVATIONS from The Man Cave, refusing to let the old man in, even though he’s knocking at my door. I’m looking out my window and smiling.

—WHY, WHY, WHY?: One has to wonder, “What was he thinking?” Most likely he wasn’t thinking at all because he may have destroyed his just-started career.

Cincinnati Reds infielder Noelvi Marte was suspended 80 games by MLB after testing positive for Boldenone, a banned PED.

Not only did it cost him what probably would have been the starting third base job, but he won’t be paid the 80 games worth of his $740,000 salary.

Marte, acquired from Seattle in the Luis Castillo trade, made his Reds debut last year in early August and hit .316 over 35 games with 15 RBI and six stolen bases.

And the conspiracy theorists wonder if the Reds knew this was coming when they signed third basseman Jeimer Candelario? Makes sense, right?

—A FUTURE ARM: If you are wondering about future pitchers that might occupy the Great American Ball Park mound in the not faraway future, well fans that inhabit Day Air Ball Park in Dayton know about him.

And as an invitee to major league spring training camp he is demanding attention. In three innings he struck out four and has displayed uncommon poise, plus knowing how to put on a baseball uniform and a pair of spikes in a professional manner.

His name is Julian Aguiar, 22, a 12th-round draft pick in 2021. He was the Reds’ Minor League Pitcher of the Year last season and was dazzling last season at High-A Dayton. He pitched 70 1/3 innings for the Dragons with a 1.92 earned run average and was picked for the Midwest League All-Star team.

Then he was promoted to Class AA Chattanooga and finished the season with the most innings pitched by a Reds minor leaguer (125), had the second most minor league wins (8) and third lowest ERA (2.31). His slider is checked as a plus on the reports and his fastball hovers in the mid-90s.

He is listed as the Reds No. 16 prospect but the guess here is that he soon will hit single digits. Said Nick Krall, president of baseball operations:

“He has pitched well this spring. He made strides last season. He showed excellent poise in his first big-league camp and competes well. His stuff continues to improve and he has a chance to be a quality big-league pitcher in the near future.”

—TERRIFIC TRIO: Another gem from Jeff Singleton (And, Jeff, the check got lost at the post office):

Only three players in MLB history finished their careers with a .300 average, more than 500 home runs and more than 3,000 hits. The first two are slam dunks: Willie Mays and Hank Aaron.

The third? Miguel Cabrera, a for-sure first-ballot Hall of Famer when he lands on the ballot.

—QUOTE: From future Hall of Famer Miguel Cabrera: “I have a glove. I’ll play anywhere.” (Is that like what Palidin said, “Have gun, will travel?”)

—JUST THREE ME: The Cincinnati Reds engage in a three-point shooting contest during spring training at their Goodyear complex.

The winner this year? New Dayton Dragons manager Vince Harrison, a 1998 Cincinnati Princeton High School graduate and brother to Reds outfielder Josh Harrison.

Does Vince have any eligibility left? Maybe the UD Flyers could use him for the Atlantic 10 tournament, giving them a double-threat at threes with him and Koby Brea, the nation’s No. 1 three-point percentage shooter (49.7%).

—A McCOY PLOY: When I was a kid, my dad used to sing a song he wrote pertaining to the Charles Darwin theory and it was entitled, “A Monkey’s No Relation To Me.”

I bring this up because there was a boxer named Kid McCoy, no relation to me. But my grandpa used to tell me a story about a ploy used by McCoy.

During a clinch, The Kid would say to his opponent, “Your shoe is untied.” When the foe loooked down, McCoy would deliver an uppercut that put the guy on the canvas.

Fellow fighter Gentleman Jim Corbett was aware of what McCoy did and when McCoy said, “Your shoe is untied,” Corbett didn’t look down. He delivered a left hook to the jaw that put McCoy on the canvas. Corbett then looked down and said to McCoy, “While you’re down there, tie my shoe.”

And that stupidity is why I say that Kid McCoy was no relation to me, right dad?

—LOOKING FOR LONGSHOTS: In my long, long life, I have had one mint julep. Make that one sip. Yech.

But I love the Kentucky Derby, one major event I’ve never covered. It is on my bucket list, but my bucket has a hole in it.

The 150th Kentucky Derby unfolds this year and I would wager on the three longest shots in the 20-horse field. These are babies, 3-year-olds who have barely learned to make four left turns. Anything can happen.

Take the 2022 Derby. Rich Strike, an 80-to–1 pick, started in the farthest gate from the rail, the 21st. He only got into the race at the last minute when the No. 20 horse pulled out.

For the first mile he saw 14 swishing tails, 15th place. On the final turn, he darted to the rail and became Secretariat, passing ‘em all.

A freak? You betcha. He hasn’t won a race since.

—THE (ALMOS) COMEBACKERS: This is what the three-point line has done for basketball. . .or as Yogi Berra always said, “It ain’t over ’til it’s over.”

The Dayton Flyers’ comeback from 17 points down in the first 10 minutes of a game against VCU to win in overtime was, and still is, a much-ballyhooed story.

But Indiana State almost did it even better in the finals of the Missouri Valley Conference tournament.

Indiana State trailed Drake by 18 points with ony 10 minutes left in the game. The Sycamores went on a 21-1 run in six minutes and actually took a 74-73 lead.

But Drake recovered with a late 10-2 run of its own to ruinate Indiana State’s comeback to win, 84-80, and grab an NCAA tournaament spot.

Iowa fell behind IIlinois by 20 in the first half, 31-11, but cut it to single digits just before halftime before losing, 73-61.

—QUIRKY QUOTES: Some things they wish they never said, but did:

From Kevin Mitchell to pitcher Larry Luebbers before his first start: “What’s your name, Luger? You better not have me running all over the outfield or I’ll shoot you with a Luger.”

From Enos Slaughter on the cheapness of club executive Branch Rickey: “He would go into the vault to get you change for a nickel.”

From Dodgers outfielder Pedro Guerrero on a teammate’s throwing yips: “First I pray to God that nobody hits the ball to me, then I pray to God that nobody hits the ball to Steve Sax.”

From Reggie Jackson on what he thinks about while trying to break out of a slump: “You’re like a mosquito in a nudist camp. You don’t know where to start.”

From Ken Brett on playing on a bad team: “Our 1976 Chicago White Sox team was so bad that (owner) Bill Veeck began selling hot dogs to go in the fifth inning.”

—THE SWEET TOOTH: Which candy bar as a youth, when they were as big as your hand and not, as now, as small as your middle finger: Hershey’s, Hershey’s with almonds, Clark Bar, Snicker’s, Three Musketeers, Powerhouse, Milky Way, Butterfinger?

—PLAYLIST NO. 28: If I repeated any, forgive me. I’m 83.

Gonna Miss You Old Friend (Cledus T. Judd), (Crimson And Clover (Tommy James), I Fall To Pieces (Patsy Cline), It’s A Heartache (Bonnie Tyler), I’ll Stand By You (The Pretenderss), I Just Died In Your Arms (Cutting Crew), It’s All Coming Back To Me Now (Meat Loaf), True Love Ways (Buddy Holly), Let It Be Me (Everly Brothers), Story Of My Life (Social Distortion).

W.O.L.D. (Harry Chapin), Some Day We’ll Be Together (Diana Ross & The Supremes), Lost In Love (Air Supply), I Can See Clearly Now (Johnny Nash), Mother (Pink Floyd), Stay (Sugarland), The Rose (Bette Midler), She Believes In Me (Kenny Rogers), Old Man (Neil Young), The Lion Sleeps Tonight (The Tokens).

OBSERVATIONS: Garvey Just Wants To Be George Washington

By Hal McCoy

UNSOLICITED OBSERVATIONS from The Man Cave, nursing tennis elbow from pumping out so many of these, along with University of Dayton basketball stories and the beginning of this year’ss Ask Hal column. . .but what else do I have to do?

—POLITICAL FIRST BASEMAN: During his career with the Los Angeles Dodgers and San Diego Padres, first baseman Steve Garvey always was political. . .he always said what was politically correct. He seemed as patriotic as Old Glory and the bald eagle and was as American as George Washington. He probably could sing the national anthem backwards.

Now he wants to be George Washington. He is 75 and wants to be a professional politician. He won the California primary for senator. He is a Republican running for the seat made vacant when Dianne Feinstein died at age 90.

The 10-time All-Star, who stood at first base applauding in his glove after Pete Rose’s 4,192nd career hit, has been a huckster for McDonald’s, Gillette, Pepsi-Cola and Chevrolet.

He never bangs the drum slowly, just loudly.

—QUOTE: From Steve Garvey and no truer words ever came out of a ballplayer’s mouth: “The difference between the old ballplayer and the new ballplayer is the jersey. The old ballplayer cared about the name on the front. The new ballplayer cares about the name on the back. “

—LIKE FATHER, LIKE SON: Hall of Fame pitcher Nolan Ryan conducted his own version of the Father-Son game. He struck out fathers and then later in his career he struck out sons.

The victims: Sandy Alomar Sr. and Sandy Alomar Jr., Ken Griffey Sr. and Ken Griffey Jr., Bobby Bonds and Barry Bonds, Tito Francona and Terry Francona, Hal McRae and Brian McRae, Tony Perez and Eduardo Perez, Ducky Schofield and Dick Schofield.

—WHAT MORALS, WHAT VALUES?: Quarterback Johnny Manziel, the Heisman Trophy winner in 2010 after his freshman year at Texas A&M, was a monumental bust in the NFL. He often took a seat during games to rest his interceptions.

The Cleveland Browns paid $8.2 million for his signature and that’s about all they got from him.

He is making news now by saying he is boycotting the Heisman Awards ceremony until Reggie Bush’s award is returned. Bush, the 2005 award winner, was stripped of the Heisman after it was revealed that Bush accepted cash, free travel and a house in San Diego for his family.

“Doesn’t sit right with my morals and values that
Reggie can’t be on that stage with us every year,” Manziel posted on social media.

Manziel admitted that after he was cut by the Browns he went to Las Vegas and did cocaine so heavily he lost 40 pounds.

Oh, yeah. Morals and values are synonomous with cocaine.

—FORWARD-LY LOOKING: The University of Dayton’s DaRon Holmes II is on the Final Fiive list for the Karl Malone Power Forward of the Year Award.

His competition is Kyle Filipowski (Duke), Enrique Freeman (Akron), Jaden Lee (San Diego State), Great Osborne (Utah State).

That’s all well and good, and congratulations to Holmes, but power forward? Isn’t he a post player, a center? Holmes spends most of his time within his long reach of the rim, with occasional wanderings to the top of the lane to set screens or to shoot a three now-and-then.

He also has been known to grab a rebound and dribble up the court himself, so maybe he should be a candidate for the Bob Cousy Point Guard of the Year award.

–QUOTE: From NBA star Karl Malone, known as The Mailman because he always delivered: “Inside the paint is where men are made. If you can’t play there, you should be home with your mama.”

—FOR PETE’S SAKE: Somebody reported that former LSU coach Dale Brown charrted every shot Pete Maravich took at LSU. Supposedly, if there had been a three-point line at the time, Maravich would have averaged 57 points a game and scored 4,721 points.

That’s probably true, but Brown was not Maravich’s coach. Pete’s father, Press, was his coach. Let’s assume Dale Brown had access to films of Pete’s games and be done with it.

Pete Maravich was all basketball all the time. He didn’t know Gabby Hayes from Rutherford B. Hayes from Woody Hayes. But you can wager he knew who Elvin Hayes was.

—QUOTE: From Pete Maravich, who was mostly an unhappy human being: “I accomplished what I set out to do, but I lost my discipline and my career. My career was mostly negative.”

—HE BECAME A HACK: Ever hear the name Hacksaw Reynolds, a linebacker for the San Francisco 49ers? When he played at the University of Tennessee his name was Jack Reynolds. It was rumored he was so tough he set his own broken fingers and pulled his own teeth.

He didn’t like to lose and who does, but he took it to a high level. After the Volunteers lost one game, he stormed home, took a hack saw and sawed his ’53 Chevy in half.

And forever after he was Hacksaw Reynolds.

—THREE AND FLEE: They say (I’ve often wondered who ‘they’ is) one of the most difficult things to do is beat a team three times in one basketball season.

Wright State can tell you all about it. The Raiders beat Northern Kentucky twice during the regular season. And when the Norse came calling at the Nutter Center for the Horizon League tournament, Wright State full-throttled its way to a 19-2 lead.

It looked as if the Raiders could mail it in the rest of the way without a stamp. Unbelievably, the Raiders lost, 99-97, in overtime. Believe it.

—YOU BETCHA: With all the coast-to-coast legalized sports betting, it was inevitable. A group called U.S. Integrity is checking into the outcome of the UAB-Temple basketball game.

UAB opened as a 1 1/2-point favorite. By game time the line was UAB by 7 1/2, a huge jump. And UAB, originally 1 1/2-point favorites, won by 28, 100-72. And it is the second time there was a huge line movement involving a Temple. It was when the Owls lost to Memphis, 84-77.

—QUOTES: They used Mother English in humorous ways:

From noted author and not-so-noted pitcher Jim Bouton: “Baseball statistics are about as interesting as first base coaches.”

From pitcher Joe Magrane: “I knew I was in trouble when they started clocking my fastball with a sun dial.”

From Jim Essian after hitting his first MLB home run: “I wanted to go into my home run trot, but realized I didn’t have one.”

From Boston pitcher Dennis Lamp: “In one game our manager told us to stay out of double plays and we did. We hit into two triple plays.”

From manager Tommy Lasorda on the Dodgers having three trainers: “When I broke in, we had one trainer who carried a bottle of rubbing alcohol and by the seventh inning he had drank it all.”

From former coach Rich Donnelly, who gave an outstanding speech at Wright State’s First Pitch baseball dinner: “Mark McGwire hit a pop-up so high against us that before it came down all nine of our players called for it.”

—PLAYLIST NO. 27: Songs: Songs, songs, songs and more songs:

Cat’s In The Cradle (Harry Chapin), Long Train Runnin’ (Doobie Brothers), Logical Song (Supertramp), Stumblin’ (Suzi Cuatro), Lovely Day (Bill Withers), Crazy (Patsy Cline), How Do I Get You Alone? (Heart), Rhythm Of The Rain (The Cascades).

On The Radio (Donna Summers), The Winner Takes It All (Abba), Turn Around (Bonnie Tyler), You Are The Reason (Calum Scott), Afternoon Delight (Starland Vocal Band), Endless Love (Lionel Richie & Diana Ross), Tears In Heaven (Eric Clapton ).

OBSERVATIONS: What? Another Reds Infielder On The Horizon

By Hal McCoy

UNSOLICITED OBSERVATIONS from The Man Cave, about to have lunch with former Cincinnati sports writers Bill Koch and Jack Brennan to talk about old times. . .very, very old times.

—ANOTHER INFIELDER: The Cincinnati Reds are more overstocked with infielders than a shoe store in Arizona with rain galoshes. There is Jonathan India, Elly De La Cruz, Matt McLain, Christian Encarnacion-Strand, Noelvi Marte and Jeimer Candelario.

What to do, what to do? Well, for starters, add another name. . .shortstop Edwin Arroyo. He is dazzling everybody this spring, showing he might have the genes for future stardom.

He won’t make it this year and probably will start the season at Class AA Chattanooga. But it’s like the old song, ‘How Ya Gonna Keep ‘Em Down On The Farm?’

With Arroyo lurking, it lends more credence to thoughts of moving shortstop De La Cruz to the outfield to more utilize his Usain Bolt speed and Brownig rifle arm.

—QUOTE: From Cal Ripken Jr., who was moved from shortstop to third base: “Different styles work for different guys. If you can handle shortstop and hit, too, teams will find a way to pencil you into the lineup.” (They always say ‘pencil,’ but every manager I covered used a pen to make out his lineup cards.)

—FOR PETE’S SAKE: Loyal contributer Jeff Singleton passed this one along from something called 28th Century Baseball.

It is a list of the top 25 players with the most career hits before the age of 30. Ty Cobb led it with 2,136. No shock there.

Was Pete Rose second? Nope. Third? Nope. Fourth? Nope. And this is the shocker. The Hit King is not in the top 25.

No. 25 is Lloyd Waner with 1,651. When Rose was 29 he had 1,402. What’s more incredible is that from age 30 to age 45, Rose collected 2,854 hits.

By the way, former Reds outfielder Vada Pinson is sixth on that list (1,881). The guys ahead of Pinson are Cobb, Mel Ott, Rogers Hornsby, Alex Rodriguez and Hank Aaron.

Eight of the top 10 are in the Hall of Fame. Only Pinson and A-Rod are not and we know why A-Rod isn’t. So what is the excuse for keeping Pinson out?

—HIT THE BEST: Few can argue that the Atlanta Braves pitching staff in the early 1990s might have been the all-tiime best. . .Greg Maddux, John Smoltz, Tom Glavine. All three are in the Hall of Fame.

But to Todd Helton that trio was just Larry, Curly and Moe. Helton banged on them like a snare drum.

For his career, Helton hit .417 against Smoltz, .393 against Glavine and .364 against Maddux. For that alone he belongs in the Hall of Fame, and he will be inducted in July.

And the most rare thing the Colorado Rockies first baseman did was walk (1,335) more times than he struck out (1,175).

—QUOTE: From Todd Helton on playing in hitter-friendly Coors Field: “Is Coors Field a good park to hit in? Yeah. So are Wrigley Field and Camden Yards. I didn’t design Coors Field, I just played there.”

—UD CHUCK-ED HIM: The University of Dayton once had an outstanding football player named Chuck Noll, so good he went on to play in the NFL for the Cleveland Browns.

After his playing days ended he became a coach. The UD job became open and Noll applied to be head coach at his almaa mater.

UD said, “No thanks. Move on.”

So he moved on, became head coach of the NFL’s Pittsburgh Steelers. . .and won four Super Bowls in six years.

And it was too late for UD to do a do-over.

—DOESN’T WANT MUCH: After his NBA career, Junior Bridgeman made multi-millions by investing in fast food chains.

He spoke one day to the Denver Nuggets and asked the team what are their aspirations.

Chris “Birdman” Anderson, his body covered by tattoos, raised his ink-covered arm and said, “My life-long dream is to own a rest stop.” (Why not have attainable goals, eh?
—THE CELTIC WAY: Who would think any Boston Celtics team would be as good, or better, than the Celtics of Bill Russell, Bob Cousy, Satch Sanders and John Havlicek, who won about as often as the Harlem Globetrotters?

But this year’s edition is awesome with a capital A. Last week they beat the Golden State Warriors, 140-88. . .One Four Eight to Eight Eight.

At one point they outscored the Warriros, 61-17, and led, 82-38. They’ve won three games this season by 50 or more points.

And it was their 11th straight win. They are 48-12, an .800 clip, and lead the Milwaukee Bucks by eight games in the Eastern Division.

—QUOTE: From former coach Red Auerbach: “The Boston Celtics are not a basketball team. They are a way of life.” (And it is the Life of Riley.)

—THE GRAVY TRAIN: How many have used the term gravy train? What does that mean? Has there ever been a train pulling gravy? Nope.

Ostensibly, the term originated in Great Britain. It referred to a train run that paid well for a run that required little effort by the crew. So the crew was riding the gravy train.

—QUOTES: They said it and they meant it:

From pitcher Greg Booker on diminutive Cincinnati Reds infielder Bip Roberts: “We have baked potatoes in North Carolina bigger than him.”

From Phillies outfielder John Kruk, who hated spring training: “Spring training should last one day. We’d have the team golf outing and then head north.”

From manager Whitey Herzog after they put a roof over Montreal’s Olympic Stadium: “It always looked like a toilet bowl. Now it has a seat on it.”

From umpire Al Forman: “I often get birthday cards from fans with the same message. . .they hope it’s my last.”

From manager Casey Stengel on catcher Chris Cannizzaro: “He’s a remarkable catcher. He’s the only defensive catcher in baseball who can’t catch.”

From Graig Nettles when the Yankees kept asking him to make speaking engagements: “If the club wants somebody to play third base, they have me. If they want somebody to speak at luncheons they should hire George Jessel.”

—PLAYLIST NO. 27: Songs that make me stop, think and cry:

Don’t Let The Old Man In (Toby Keith), When Did I Get Old (Derrick Dove & The Peacekeepers), He Stopped Loving Her Today (George Jones), Whose Gonna Take Their Place? (George Jones), It Was Almost Like A Song (Ronnie Milsap), Everybody Hurts (R.E.M.), Love Hurts (Nazareth), If Tomorrow Never Comes (Garth Brooks), Don’t Close Your Eyes (Keith Whitley).

Sometimes When We Touch (Dan Hill), I Can’t Make You Love Me (Bonnie Raitt), Live Like You Were Dying (Tim McGraw), I Wouldn’t Have Missed It For The World (Ronnie Milsap).