Observations: Even When The Dodgers Are Bad They’re Good

By Hal McCoy

UNSOLICITED OBSERVATIONS from The Man Cave, wondering if the Cincinnati Reds will score another run in my lifetime.

—IT’S NEVER OVER IN LA: The Los Angeles Dodgers can’t lose when they try to lose.

On Wednesday, they fell behind the Atlanta Braves, 5-0. They made three errors and two base-running gaffes.

But they won, 6-5, on a walk-off home run by (Who else?) Shohei Ohtani. It came off former Reds pitcher Raisel Iglesias. He also gave up a two-run game-tying home run to Max Muncy in the eighth.

The Dodgers had two runners thrown out trying to go first-to-third on hard hit singles to right field. And the right fielder who threw them out? Former Reds player Stuart Fairchild.

So the Dodgers went to 8-0 and the Braves sank to 0-7. And Ohtani’s home run came on Ohtani Bobblehead Night.

Credit Dodgers manager Dave Roberts for his honesty when after the game he said, “We had no business winning this game.”

Evidently, Robers has no concept of a $391 million payroll and a roster stuffed with All-Stars.

As Neil Diamond sang, “LA’s fine, but it ain’t home.” The Dodgers beg to differ.

As for the Braves, no team that began the season 0-7 has ever qualified for the post-season. Uh, don’t be against the Braves.

—QUOTE: From former Los Angeles Dodgers manager Tommy Lasorda: “If you don’t root for the Dodgers you might not get into Heaven.” (If that’s the case, the line outside Hell’s door stretches to infinity.)

—SNEAKED IT THROUGH: Suddenly, with the New York Yankees playing Home Run Derby, attention is focused on those new-fangled torpedo bats.

New-fangled? Where was the attention on those bats during last year’s playoffs? Quietly and without attention, the Yankees’ Giancarlo Stanton used one in the 2024 post-season.

And he hit seven home runs.

—NO TORPEDO. . .YET: Eugenio Suarez has five hits so far this season and all five are home runs, including a grand slam to beat the Yankees Tuesday.

Torpedo bat? Nope. Well, not yet.

“Right now, I don’t want to change anything. I just want to keep doing what I’ve been doing,” he said.

But. . .yes, but.

“I will try one. It’s very popular right now. I see a lot of homers out there. It’s very interesting to me to swing one and just try to see hot it feels in my hands.”

Suarez, the former Reds third baseman, started the season 5 for 22 and all five hits were home runs.

—OFF THE SCHNIED: After going 0 for 19 with 15 strikeouts, Boston’s Rafael Devers went 2 for 4 Wednesday and exhalations could be heard from Fenway Park to the Boston Harbor.

—FOR WHAT IT’S WORTH: Take a deep breath, exale, take another deep breath when you read this one.

When the Bob Castellini group purchased the Cincinnati Reds from Carl Lindner in 2006, they paid $270 million.

And what is the team worth now? Forbes, Inc. estimates that it is valued at $1.3 billion. . .that’s ‘b’ as in billion.

While that figure is staggering, it is only the 27th most valued of the 30 MLB franchises.

—WEAK, WEAK, WEAK: Might the Cincinnati Reds be in the wrong division? Yes, the National League Central is weaker than grandma’s lemonade, but how about the American League Central?

After six games, the Reds were 2-4. They would be tied for first in the American League Central because all five ALC teams were 2-4 after six games — Cleveland, Kansas City, Minnesota, Chicago and Detroit.

There was a season when an entire division came close to having all teams finish under .500. That was 1973 when there were only two six-team divisions.

The National Leauge East was won by the New York Mets with an 82-79 record. Then it was St. Lous (81-81), Pittsburgh (80-82), Montreal (79-83), Chicago (77-84) and Philadelphia (71-

—THREE’S A CHARM: In 1953, when Ted Williams left Boston to fly an F-86 Sabre jet in the Korean conflic, the Red Sox called up a kid name Gene Stephens.

In one game, Stephens set a record that still stands, three hits in one inning during a 17-run inning.

“I was one of the youngest players (19) in the majors and probably shouldn’t have been in the majors,” he said. “As soon as Ted came back, I was optioned back the minors.”

In that one inning, Stephens singled and scored, doubled for two RBI and scored and singled for another RBI as the Bosox obliterated the Detroit Tigers, 23-3.

—SIGN OF THE TIMES: On Opening Day, the Philadelphia Phillies struck out 19 times and still beat the Washington Nationals.

That is the most strikeouts by a team on Opening Day that still won the game.

Man, do they keep records on everything? Yes, they do.

For example, how many players have hit three homers on Opening Day? None? One? Two? Actually three, and one was former Cincinnati Reds outfielder/first baseman Dmitri Young.

But it was 2005 and he was playing for the Detroit Tigers. The others? Tuffy Rhodes for the 1994 Chicago Cubs and Matt Davidson for the 2018 Chicago White Sox.

Tuffy’s three came against New York Mets pitcher Dwight Gooden.

—WHERE ARE THEY?: There was consternation in St. Louis this week when ‘only’ 21,206 fans showed up for a Cardinals game. It was the smallest crowd ever in Busch Stadium III.

That kind of mid-week attendance would make Tampa Bay, Miami and. . .yes, Cincinnati ecstatic.

The three-game Texas series in Great American Ball Park drew 10,333, 14,853 and 13,222. And looking at all the empty seats made it look as if the Reds were fudging those numbers.

—MANGUM RBI: Where do the Tampa Bay Rays keep finding these guys? And terrific Lexington, KY sports talk host Alan Cutler clued me in on this one.

Jake Mangum, a 29-year-old rookie, collected four hits and two stolen bases in his second major league game.

Guess who was the only other MLB player to grab four hits and two stolen bases in his first two MLB games?

That would be Casey Stengel, who did it in his first major league game in 1912 with the Brookly Dodgers. Yes, Ol’ Casey played the game before he ever became a managerial guru. His career batting average was .284.

—AHEAD OF HIS TIME: Former Indiana coach Bobby Knight said this in 1985, about three decades before the arrival of the transfer portal.

“I’m sitting here at a quarter past 12 and by 2 o’clock I can raise $100,000 to buy two great basketball players.”

Wonder who he bought?

—ANOTHER UECKER-ISM: From former catcher/broadcaster/comedian Bob Uecker: “When I played they didn’t use fancy words like emtionally-disturbed, they just said I coudn’t hit. They call a curveball a bender. I didn’t know anything about curveballs, but I sure knew a lot about benders.”

–PLAYLIST NUMBER 160: As singer Paul Simon put it, “Music is forever, music should grow and mature with you, following you right up until you did.” (Macabre and gruesome, but true.)

Some real oldies, but goodies. . .

—Reflections (Diana Ross & The Supremes), Mother-In-Law (Ernie K. Doe), Poetry In Motion (Johnny Tillotson), Crazy (Kenny Rogers), How Deep Is Your Love? (BeeGees), Poor Little Fool (Ricky Nelson), The Poor Side Of Town (Johnny Rivers).

—Folsom Prison Blues (Johnny Cash), Put Your Head On My Shoulder (Paul Anka), I Can’t Help Myself (Four Tops), Dream Lover (Bobby Darin), Cry To Me (Solomon Burke), Pretty Little Angel Eyes (Curtis Lee), Knock Three Timeds (Tony Orlando & Dawn), Since I Don’t Have You (Skyliners).