By Hal McCoy
UNSOLICITED OBSERVATIONS from The Man Cave before heading to UD Arena this afternoon to see if the Dayton Flyers can locate their lost mojo.
—A HOMER, UECKER STYLE: During his six years as a player, Bob Uecker hit only 14 home runs. One, though, was noteworthy. It was off Sandy Koufax and Uecker said, “Every time I saw him after that I apologized.”
I asked him one day over dinner in the Milwaukee Brewers media dining room — dinner being Metts and Brats — to describe the home run.
Typically, he made light of it and said, “Sandy feared me so much he came in with a high and inside fastball. It scared me so bad that I was bailing out of the batter’s box, ducking away. The pitch hit my bat and Sandy threw it so hard the ball went over the fence. I got the ball and the damn thing was lopsided.”
Well, at least the pitch wasn’t juuuuuust a big outside.
That same year, 1965, when Uecker hit two home runs, one off Koufax, Koufax was 25-5 and Yogi Berra said, “I can understand how Koufax won 25 games. What I don’t understand is how he lost five games.”
Of his mediocre career, Uecker said, “I never wanted to have a good season when I played. It would have screwed up my career.”
As an aside, witnesses to Uecker’s home run were Dodgers broadcaster Vin Scully and St. Louis Cardinals broadcasters Harry Caray and Jack Buck.
Speaking of the broadcast booth, Uecker had fun there, too. This is typical. As an inning ends, Uecker says into the mic, “After three innings, it is the Brewers nothing, the Angels nothing.”
Then he hits the cough button to silence the mic, turns around to face some visitors in the booth and says, “Now for the funniest joke I ever heard.
“Two ball players went duck hunting. They were out in the marshes for over an hour. They didn’t get anything, they didn’t shoot anything.
“Finally, one says to the other, ‘I wonder why we haven’t gotten any ducks?’ The other one says, ‘Maybe we’re not throwing the dog up high enough.’”
He breaks into laughter and turns back to face the field. And about that joke, Bob. On a scale of one to ten, it’s a stretch three.
—ONE-HIT WONDER: When former Toronto pitcher Dave Stieb walked to the mound in the mid-1980s, he didn’t need four-leaf clovers in his pocket. He needed a horseshoe in each of his back pockets.
In a span of five years, Stieb took four no-hitters into the ninth inning and lost them all. Four came with two outs in the ninth. Two came with two strikes and two outs.
In 1985 he took a no-hitter into the ninth and gave up a leadoff home run to Rudy Law of the Chicago White Sox. In 1988, he took back-to-back no-hitters into the ninth with two outs and two strikes and lost both no-hitters.
He lost the first one when Cleveland’s No. 9 hitter, Julio Franco, singled up the middle. On his next start, Balitmore pinch-hitter Jim Traber bounced a two-out and 2-and-2 ground ball that took a bad-hop and bounced over the second baseman’s head for a single.
In 1989 he took a perfect game into the ninth and had two outs and two strikes on Roberto Kelly of the New York Yankees. Kelly doubled on a line drive to left field. Stieb was a guy you didn’t want to be on your airplane flight.
Well, at least he had four one-hitters.
But all’s well that ends well. On September 2, 1990, he finally pitched the no-hitter against Cleveland, the elusive final out arrived on a weak fly ball by Jerry Browne. It was the first no-hitter in Blue Jays history.
Stieb’s autobiography was titled, ‘Tomorrow I’ll Be Perfect.’ Well, almost.
—A SWIFT FELLER: Speaking of pitchers, my dad always told me Bob Feller of the Cleveland Indians threw harder than any pitcher who ever lived. He never got to see Nolan Ryan or Randy Johnson or Aroldis Chapman.
Dad’s evidence consisted of pure statistics and they glow like a streetlight on a foggy night. Feller actually led the American League in strikeouts for seven straight years that he pitched.
He led in 1938, ’39, ’40 and ’41. Then at the height of his career, he spent 1942 through most of 1945 serving in World War II. When he returned he led the league in whiffs in 1946, ’47 and ’48.
And his best year was his first season after World War II, 1946, when he struck out 348. He was 26-15 with a 2.18 earned run average. He made 42 starts and four relief appearances (all saves). And he threw 36 complete games, 10 shutouts and a no-hitter.
Hia 348 strikeouts stood a long time as the MLB record until Sandy Koufax struck out 382 in 1964 and then Nolan Ryan fanned 383 in 1979.
So how in the name of Cy Young did he lose 15 games? The ‘’46 Indians were not very good and particularly inept at scoring runs. They were 68-86 and finished sixth among eight teams.
Said Joe DiMaggio, the Yankee Clipper, “I don’t think anyone ever threw harder than Bob Feller.”
—A SLOW BURN: Satchel Paige was once told that when his fastball left his hand it looked like a baseball, but when it reached home plate it looked like a marble.
Satchel sighed deeply and shook his head.
“They must have been talking about my slowball,” he said. “When my fastball reaches home plate it looks like a fish eye.”
Yes, Satchel was known for telling ‘fishy’ stories.
—BLOWING HIS OWN HORN-SBY: Rogers Hornsby was an iconic baseball player, once hitting .401 with 42 home runs and 152 RBI in 1922.
Will Rogers once said he never met a man he didn’t like, so he obviously never met Hornsby, an egotistical maniac universally disliked by opponents and even teammates. And when he was a manager he was despised by his players.
For example, he once said, “I don’t like to sound egotistical, but every time I step up to the plate with a bat in my hands, I could’t help but feel sorry for the pitcher.”
Egotistical, yes. But the man could hit. He also hit .421 with 24 homers in 1924 and .403 with 39 homers in 1925.
—SAM THE SHAM: Minnesota’s Sam Darnold was sacked an inconceivable nine times, threw an interception and fumbled a ball that was returned for a touchdown in a 27-9 playoff loss to the Los Angeles Rams.
There was a report that the Cleveland Browns immediately offered Darnold a four-year $200 million contract. Darnold, though, quickly declined the offer because he wondered if the Browns no longer are an NFL team.
—AN ANAGRAM LUNCH: Had lunch this week with the May brothers, Don and Ken, the legendary basketball brothers who played at Dayton Belmont and the University of Dayton.
The subject of anagrams came up and I mentioned that my old boss and mentor Si Burick loved anagrams.
Don May quickly said, “Si Burick used an anagram to give me a nickname. . .Dynamo. It stuck. Even (UD coach) Don Donoher called me Dynamo.”
Said Ken May, “And I am Keynamo.”
I worked and worked and worked with the letters of my name and all I could come up with was Holymacc. . .and that’s not even a word.
—PLAYLIST NUMBER 138: As Martin Luther King Jr. put it, “Music is the art of the prophets and the gift of God.”
—Oh Boy (Buddy Holly & The Crickets), Drift Away (Dobie Gray), Somebody’s Baby (Jackson Browne), You Belong To Me (Carly Simon), Love Is The Answer (England Dan & John Ford Coley), Hot Rod Heart (Robbie Dupree), Little Red Riding Hood (Sam The Sham & The Pharaohs)
—Silver Springs (Fleetwood Mac), Tomorrow Is Today (Billy Joel), Don’t Go Away (Oasis), Tenerife Sea (Ed Sheehan), The Mansion (Manchester Orchestra), Beautiful Noise (Neil Diamond) Tennessee Whiskey (Chris Stapleton), Need You Now (Lady Antebellum).