OBSERVATIONS: Trevor Bauer — Mr. Old School baseball pitcher

By Hal McCoy

UNSOLICITED OBSERVATIONS from The Man Cave, wearing my Milwaukee Brewers hat during their games with the Reds to put the hex on The Brew Crew. . .and it worked Monday.

Trevor Bauer is a guy who not only marches to the beat of a different drummer, he is the drummer — even better than Keith Moon, Ring Starr or Gene Krupa.

He gets on Twitter and says his piece and lets the words fall where they may. He wears controversial spikes whenever he pitches. He throws baseballs over the center field wall when the manager takes him out of a game. He uses science like Professor Irwin Corey.

And now he is going to get his fondest wish, not once but maybe twice.

He says over and over and over he wants to pitch on three days of rest, like The Real Men pitchers of days gone by.

Well, on Wednesday Bauer will face the Milwaukee Brewers on three days of rest. And if Sunday’s game against Minnesota is meaningful, he will pitch again on three days of rest.

Now there is an ‘Old School’ guy after my own heart because when it comes to baseball I’m not only old school, I’m old-school one-room schoolhouse.

Bauer, of course, ALWAYS gets in the last word, even with the ever-talkative Chicago White Sox star Tim Anderson, known for his gigantic bat flips.

Before Bauer faced the White Sox last Saturday, he sent a message to Anderson that said, “Hey @TimAnderson7. I’m all in on the bat flips, man, but if you could skip a day today that would be great. Even the Lord took a day of rest. Thanks, my dude.”

Then Anderson hit one over the center field wall, watched its glorious parabola and placed his bat gently on the ground. But he did tell Bauer, “Put that on your YouTube channel.”

Bauer, of course, responded by saying, “Tell T.A. he’s soft for not bat flipping it.”

—QUOTE: From former Red Sox slugger David Oritiz on flipping his bat after hitting a home run: “As a pitcher you are not going to like it if I take you deep. But after I do it (flip his bat), suck it up and take it like a man.” (So then why can’t Aroldis Chapman do cart wheels after striking out a hitter?)
—Isn’t leaving Pete Rose out of Cooperstown like leaving the mastadon out of the National Museum of Natural History?

During his career with the Reds Rose walked 1,210 times and struck out 930 times When Joey Votto walked three times Sunday and passed Rose on the Reds’ all-time walk list with 1,211, I looked up to see if Votto struck out more or less times than he walked.

More strikeouts. . .1,347.

With those 1,211 walks (90 feet to first base) Votto has walked 20.64 miles on his trip to first base after walks. He is due for a 20-mile tuneup.

—QUOTE: From journalist P.J. O’Rourke on the city of Toledo: “Nothing is more conducive to happiness than taking yourself seriously. Taking yourself seriously in Toledo is difficult when your baseball teams is the Mud Hens.” (Wonder how the good folks in Montgomery, Ala. feel about their Biscuits?)

—If Hall of Fame pitcher Warren Spahn was still active, they would have to pry the bat out of his hands with a crow bar to replace him with a designated hitter.

Spahn won 363 games during his career. . .and he also had 363 career hits, including seven home runs.

QUOTE: From Warren Spahn on facing Hall of Famer Willie Mays for the first time: “He was zero for twenty-one the first time I saw him. His first major league hit was a home run off me and I’ll never forgive myself. We might have gotten rid of Willie forever if I’d only struck him out.”

—How can five professional football players not know the rules. . .or was it a case of you-take-it, I’ll-take-it, you-take-it?

The Atlanta Falcons led the Dallas Cowboys, 20-0, after the first quarter, still led by 15 with 4:45 left and still led by two with a minute to go.

Then, absurdity. Five Falcons players watched an on-side kick dribble slowly for more than ten yards and watched the Cowboys fall on it. That led to a last-second game-winning field goal and a Dallas win, 40-39.

“They definite know the rule (on-side kicks),” said Falcons coach Dan Quinn. Then why did five Falcons stand over the ball inspecting it like five guys standing over an open pit watching marshmallows turn black?

Amazingly enough, in 2019 the Falcons recovered three of their own on-side kicks against New Orleans, so in 2020 how could they not know how to defend the on-side kick?

—Seattle quarterback Russell Wilson not only talks a good game, he throw one, too. Before facing the New England Patriots he said he was the best quarterback in the game.

Then he threw five touchdown passes in a 35-30 win. Nevertheless, has he heard the names Patrick Mahomes, Aaron Rodgers, Drew Brees and Tom Brady?

One thing for certain, Wilson won’t win The Modesty Award any time soon.

QUOTE: From Seattle quarterback Russell Wilson: “I had this urge to play football because so many people said I couldn’t do it.” (Wilson is 5-foot-11, short for the prototypical NFL quarterback. To play football, Wilson gave up baseball after spending two years in the Colorado Rockies organization.)

—Quick now. Name the four teams left in the NBA finals? Hint. Not the Cleveland Cavaliers.

And who is playing in the NHL finals? Hint. Not the Columbus Blue Jackets.

Six teams are left in the NBA-NHL finals? Can you match them up among Boston, Tampa Bay, Los Angeles, Denver, Dallas and Miami?

Anybody remember when the Cleveland Barons were brief members of the NHL? How about the Cleveland Rebels, who played one year in the NBA and qualified for the playoffs (who doesn’t?).

—Obnoxious Commercials V: Anything that begins with P and ends with E (Progressive) and has Flo in it. Especially ear-assaulting is the Sunday Sing-a-long with The Family Nerds.