OBSERVATIONS: When changing nicknames turns into absurdities

By HAL McCOY

UNSOLICITED OBSERVATIONS from The Man Cave — Special edition on sports nicknames. My nickname as a child was ‘Bubby,’ and nobody found it offensive but me.

With all the attention on offensive and politically incorrect nicknames, let’s look into what teams might be under the microscope:

MAJOR LEAGUE BASEBALL

Atlanta Braves: That’s obvious.

Cincinnati Reds: Offensive to anti-communists.

Pittsburgh Pirates: They plundered and robbed and stole treasure.

Milwaukee Brewers: Offensive to the tee-totalers of the world.

San Francisco Giants: Offensive to tall people.

San Diego Padres: Offensive to Catholics.

New York Yankees: Damn Yankees was a Confederate reference to Union troops in the Civil War and offensive to folks above the Mason-Dixon Line.

Cleveland Indians: Obvious and why not rename them Cleveland Rocks.

Minnesota Twins: Offensive to all those born without a sibling born on the same day.

Kansas City Royals: Offensive to the British Royal family and all countries living under a monarchy.

Los Angeles Angels: Offensive to all Christians of the world.

Texas Rangers: Offensive to all those who are suddenly anti-lawmen.

NATIONAL FOOTBALL LEAGUE

Buffalo Bills: Buffalo Bill Cody was a scout during the ‘Indian Wars’ and was part of some Native American massacres.

Cleveland Browns: Offensive to all people with brown skin.

Dallas Cowboys: We all know what cowboys did to Native Americans, as portrayed in every cowboy movie ever made.

Houston Texans: Wasn’t it mostly Texans who shot and killed thousands of Mexicans so the U.S. could annex Mexican territory?

Minnesota Vikings: Those were some bad hombres sailing in those Viking ships.

Kansas City Chiefs: Offensive to the descendants of Geronimo, Cochise, Sitting Bull, Tecumseh and Crazy Horse.

New Orleans Saints: Offensive to all those religious folks who follow the meanings of their saints.

Las Vegas Raiders: Raiders were known to rob, pillage and rape.

New York Giants: Like the San Francisco baseball team, offensive to tall people.

Los Angeles Chargers: Chargers on their steeds killed and maimed many unarmed townspeople.

San Francisco 49ers: Those gold rush prospectors did some nasty things to each other, claim jumping and tearing up towns on Saturday nights.

New England Patriots: Destroyed valuable tea products in Boston Harbor and killed or wounded thousands of Red Coats.

New York Jets: Fight jets and bomber jets destroyed cities and killed thousands of defenseless citizens.

Tampa Bay Buccaneers: Like their baseball cousins, the Pirates, the Buccaneers were skallywags and thieves.

Washington Redskins: Obvious, along with Braves, Indians and 
Black Hawks.

NATIONAL BASKETBALL ASSOCIATION

Boston Celtics: Offensive to the Irish.

Brooklyn Nets: Fishermen use nets to trap defenseless fish.

New York Knicks: Peter Minuit, a Dutch Knickerbocker, bilked the Native Indians by purchasing Manhattan Island for $24 worth of trinkets.

Cleveland Cavaliers: A person with a cavalier attitude dismisses the rights of others.

Golden State Warriors: Self-explanatory.

Sacramento Kings: Offensive to any man who has sat on a throne wearing a crown.

Dallas Mavericks: Bret and Bart Maverick were not always good men.

Portland Trailblazers: Lewis & Clark killed a couple of Native Americans from the Black Foot tribe when they tried to steal their horses.

Silliness? Absolutely. Yes, a few teams might need to change their nicknames, but this could turn into madness and an absurdity.

6 thoughts on “OBSERVATIONS: When changing nicknames turns into absurdities

  • July 6, 2020 at 3:38 pm
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    That was Hilarious Mr. McCoy LOL shows how silly some People are LOL

    Reply
    • July 7, 2020 at 3:12 pm
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      OMG! Now I have seen everything. What next? Will it ever end?

      Reply
  • July 6, 2020 at 4:39 pm
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    Yes, the majority of the nickname changes would border on the absurd, but the rule of thumb should be that any nickname that applies to an entire race of people needs to go.

    Reply
  • July 7, 2020 at 12:39 pm
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    How about naming all those supposed racist names: White Skins,White Hawks, etc….It seems like those with thin skins are stirring the racist pots which divides a once great nation.Just wonder how many people of color have said racist comments about White people.Should we start a campaign to expose them and take away their well being and destroy all they have earned by hard work ?It is time for common sense people to take charge and quell the divisive radicals of all colors. Are the Red’s actually a communist name ?

    Reply
  • July 9, 2020 at 7:20 pm
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    Yeah – ’bout sums it up!

    Reply
  • July 21, 2020 at 1:12 am
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    And then there are the university nicknames.

    Let’s start with Ohio State… The Buckeyes are offensive inasmuch as they don’t take into consideration the feelings of peanuts and cashews and macadamias.

    And, of course, the UD Flyers. We all know that the Wright Brothers were priveledged (how else could they possible gallavant down to North Carolina to fly a souped up kite?). Might I suggest UD change their nickname to the Dayton Triangles (after Triangle Park, I mean). Ooops – that would be offensive to squares and circles. Or the UD Electric Start Motors… Nahhh – that would be offensive to carburators and mufflers.

    Yes, it is all so ridiculous. As far as the Indians, they changed their nickname in honor of Louis Sockalexis, the first Native American to play in the major leagues. (https://sabr.org/bioproj/person/louis-sockalexis/). As far as the Braves, they are working with native Americans and not bowing to the pressure of non-native Americans, I would add. (https://6abc.com/atlanta-braves-mlb-offensive-native-americans/6299874/)

    Just sayin’

    Reply

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