By HAL McCOY
UNSOLICITED OBSERVATIONS from The Man Cave, going stir crazy, not from being locked up, from stirring cups of coffee and cups of coffee and cups of coffee.
—Confession time. What better thing to do than to cleanse the mind during these days of avoiding corona — the virus, not the beer.
Corona Extra is a good way to fight the virus. It has no medicinal value, but it can take your mind off it, ever so briefly.
Anyway, my confession — and Corona Extra has nothing to do with it.
In the last Hall of Fame balloting, Adam Dunn received one vote. Yeah, guilty.
Why did I vote for The Big Donkey (and that’s a self-imposed nickname)?
Thinking back on it, I’m not certain why. Maybe it goes back to 2005, the last time Jeff Gordon won the Daytona 500.
The Cincinnati Reds players had a pool during spring training of 2005. Everybody drew a name for $50 a driver. Dunn ran the pool and permitted me to enter. I drew Jeff Gordon. I won $1200.
The players were angry. In the future, the media was banned from the pool. Nah, that couldn’t have been the reason. I don’t think I’m that shallow. Hey, Dunn did hit 462 home runs during his 14 years in the majors, some that stayed in the air longer than a space shuttle.
That’s about it, though. Dunn never had a season where he did not strikeout more times than he had hits. He whiffed 195 times in 2005 and had 134 hits.
Yes, he had more career home runs than Joe DiMaggio — 462 to 361 — but check out the strikeouts. In 1941, the year Joltin’ Joe spliced together his 56-game hitting streak, he struck out 13 times.
That’s 13 times over 541 at bats. Dunn, not lovingly known as Adam Dud to some Reds fans, often struck out 13 time in less than a week.
But I don’t feel totally awful about giving him a Hall of Fame vote. One guy voted for J.J. Putz (that is a Hall of Fame name), another voted for Raul Ibanez and another voted for Brad Penny.
—One last rip on the Houston Astros (for now): Have you noticed that none of the Astros have contracted Covid-19? They obviously knew it was coming.
—While we’re on the subject, so far the coronavirus has been detected on seven NBA teams: Utah Jazz, Boston Celtics, Brooklyn Nets, Denver Nuggets, Los Angeles Lakers, Detroit Pistons and the Philadelphia 76ers.
Notice that it has not hit the Cleveland Cavaliers. Not even the coronavirus wants to be with the Cavs.
—Los Angeles journalist Mike Downey authors one of my favorite Facebook pages, ‘Downey’s California.’
The International Olympic Committee is dawdling over what to do about this year’s scheduled games in Tokyo.
Downey offers suggestions about what to do in certain events if the games go on: Boxers and wrestlers must stay six feet apart, hold the equestrian events with horses and no riders, disinfect the discus, make the swimmers wear masks, insist that relay runners stop to wipe off the batons, close the beach volleyball beaches, make basketball a slam dunk contest, archers must use gloves, medalists must place medals around their own necks, replace the closing ceremonies with tweets: ‘Olympics. Out.’
—Remember the movie Castaway when Tom Hanks was stranded on a deserted island with a volleyball? He named it Wilson.
A friend who is staying home alone said he is about ready to name a volleyball? I would call mine ‘Voit’ because that’s the company that made the volleyballs we used in gym class to play dodgeball.
Dodgeball? What fun. You tried to bloody the nose of an enemy/opponent with a bulls-eye high, hard one. It is now banned in schools. Politically incorrect. What isn’t?
—My same friend has worked for years and years during the day. Now that he is quarantined he turned on his TV and exclaimed:
“Where is Monty Hall 0n Let’s Make a Deal? Where’s B0b Barker on The Price is Right?”
Heck, I’m still wondering what happened to John Charles Daly, the host of What’s My Line? And how about the panel of Dorothy Kilgallen, Arlene Francis and Bennett Cerf?
Or how about Garry Moore on I’ve Got a Secret and all the celebrity panelist?
Uh, ask your grandfather about these shows televised in black-and-white. Black-and-white? Don’t ask.
—Are you ready for this one? Las Vegas already is listing odds for college football games this fall.
For example, Ohio State is a six-point favorite in its opener at Oregon. And it is a 7 1/2-point favorite over Michigan in Columbus.
Only 7 1/2 points? I’ll give you those and add seven. Do you realize it has been more than 3,000 days since Michigan beat Ohio State.
And the Wolverines have won exactly one game over Ohio State since 2004. And that was 2011. Since 2004, Ohio State is 14-and-1 over Michigan. Is that crazy, or what?
—Stay healthy and wash your hands for 20 seconds every hour or so. What else do you have to do?