HalMcCoy.com

By Hal McCoy

Spring training is not a popular period for most professional baseball players. I have never heard a player say, “I love spring training.”

To them it is mostly six weeks of monotonous drudgery, boring workouts, long bus rides with box lunches and a succession of meaningless games day after day after day.

But the golf and fishing are relaxing after workoutrs and early afternoon exhibition games.

Iconic broadcaster Harry Caray probably put it best when he said, “It’s the fans that need spring training. You gotta get ‘em interested, wake ‘em up. Let ‘em know that their season is coming, tha good times are gonna roll.”

So it is that time of year, the pleasant sound of bat meeting ball, time to be outdoors in sunshine with the whiff of freshly mowed grass.

The Cincinnati Reds open camp this week at their complex in Goodyear, AZ., with pitchers and catchers signing in Tuesday. It is the beginning to see if, indeed, as Caray said it, are the good times going to roll for the Reds?

It used to be that spring training was for players to get in shape, to sweat off the winter fat after working off-season jobs to supplement their meager salaries.

That is not the case these days, not with astronomical salaries that enable players to hire personal trainers to keep them in shape in the off-season.

Players report in shape with beach-ready bodies and mostly the time is for pitchers to get their arms stretched out and ready for the season.

And it used to be that spring training was a tryout camp with positions to be won or lost. But now most teams know the makeup of their rosters before the first spring training lap is taken around the outfield or the first exercise/stretch session.

That appears to be the case for the 2024 edition of the young and multi-talented Reds. Barring injuiries, which always happen, most positions already are claimed. The major focus will be on discovering the starting five, the pitching rotation.

That doesn’t mean there aren’t questions. Why did the Reds sign infielder Jeimer Candelario? Where is he going to play? Where is second baseman Jonathan India going to play?

The Reds have nearly a dozen starting pitching candidates and it begins with the oft-injured Hunter Greene, a problemn that rampant with last season’s starting staff.

Returning are Graham Ashcraft, Nick Lodolo and Andrew Abbott. While they are young and energetic, their earned run averages last season was between 4.25 and 4.85.

Lodolo missed a large segment of last season and Ashcraft went through a 10-game stretch where he was one step above a batting practice pitcher.

For augmentation, the Reds acquired swing man Nick Martinez, slated for the bullpen but capable of starting. And they added Frankie Montas, who received some Cy Young votes three year ago before encountering shoulder miseries. He made only one start last season.

Last year’s extremely inconsistent bullpen has undergone a strong fix to get to closer Alexis Diaz with the additions of Brent Suter, Emilio Pagan and Martinez.

Usually a baseball manager says, “You can never have enough pitching.” With the Reds, it is more like, “You can never have enough infielders.”

Even though it appeared they didn’t need him, the Reds signed Candelario to a three-year $45 million deall. That’s too much money to pay a designated hitter. He plays third base and first base, so it is likely he will be stationed at one of those spots.

If he plays first, what do the Reds do wih young Christian Encarnacion-Strand? If he plays third, what to they do with Noel Marte. Encarnacio-Strand and Marte both are projected as future stars and the designated hitter spot usualloy isn’t occupied by young players..

Then there is perhaps the team’s best young player, based on what he did last year, second baseman Matt McLain. He claimed second base when Jonathan India was injured and played better, offensively and defensivelly, than India.

All winter the rumor mongers had India putting on another team’s uniform. It never materialized. So now what? DH? Or will the Reds trade him?

After a flashy start during which he did everything on a baseball field but do handstands and cartwheels, shortstop Elly De La Cruz hit that invisible wall that always slows down rookies.

When he got on base, De La Cruz was baseball’s most exciting entity. Who else, within a week, hit for the cycle and stole second, third and home on two pitches.

But opposing pitchers discovered that his knowledge of the strike zone was not high IQ. He chased down and away breaking pitches out of the strike zone almost daily.

Has he learned the strike zone, learned to lay off those tempting low-and-away pitches and willl make the pitchers come to him? Spring training will tell the tale.

With the addition of Candelario, Spencer Steer’s days of infield play probably are over. But he was arguably the team MVP last season and needs to be in the lineup, probably in left field.

Center field once again should belong to blue-collared T.J. Friedl, a steady guy with a functional bat and a glue-like glove.

That leaves right field in most likely a platoon situation with the lefthanded Jake Fraley and the righthanded Will Benson.

And to add some mystery and spice to the spring proceedings, the Reds signed free agent Josh Harrison, a Cincinnati native and product of Princeton High School. The two-time All-Star was signed to a minor league contract as a non-roster invitee to big league camp.

If he makes the team he’ll be paid $1.5 million and be a utility player at second base, third base, first base and the corner outfield spots.

It appears that manager David Bell wil have many interchangeable parts, players that can play several positions. The problem is, there are not enough positions to accommodate all the players.

And so the shakedown begins to see if the good times roll.

By Hal McCoy

UNSOLICITED OBSERVATIONS from the Man Cave after watching UD lose to VCU in game that resembled a docworkers brawl.

—A TRADE COMING: The Cincinnati Reds and Jonathan India avoided one of those often contentious arbitration hearings that often leaves bruised and hard feelings.

In an attempt to win their case, teams often bring up negative and disparaging matters about the player during the hearings.

The Reds and India, though, settled their differences outside the arbitration chambers when India agreed to a two-year $8.5 million deal — $3.5 million this year and $5 million next year. And India can earn up to $2.05 in incentives next year based on games started and plate appearances.

For those rejoicing on social media, hold your breath. India’s relatively low salary base makes him ultra-attractive to other teams. It would not be shocking if the Reds now traded him because he does appear to be excess baggage, an infielder with no place to play.

And for those lobbying on social media for the Reds to sign free agent pitcher Trevor Bauer, that isn’t going to happen, even though he is offering to sign for the major league minimum ($750,000).

Reds executive Nick Krall said the club has no interest in the controversial Bauer.

—QUOTE: From former Milwaukee Brewers pitcher Corbin Burnes after losing his arbitration case last year and hearing what the Brewers said about him:

“Obviously, it is tough to hear. It’s tough to take. They’re trying to do what they can to win their hearing. There’s no denying that the relationship is definitely hurt from what transpired. There is really no way of getting around that.” (And the Brewers traded Burnes to the Baltimore Orioles a few weeks ago.)

—SINGING HIS PRAISES: One of the most melodiously-named player ever to button up a baseball uniform was Van Lingle Mungo.

Despite pitching for wretched Brooklyn Dodgers teams in the 1930s, he is one of the few players to have a song written about him.

Wretched? For example, Mungo once had a no-hitter with two outs in the ninth when the second baseman dropped a pop fly. An error, right? “Nope,” said the officials scorer. “A hit. The sun was in the fielder’s eyes.”

Said Mungo, “I always thought they called them the Dodgers because of the way they dodged fly balls. Sometimes they didn’t dodge ‘em and the balls hit them on the head.”
He isn’t in the Hall of Fame with his 120-115 record, but twice he won 18 games and usually pitched more than 300 innings. He started 38 games one seaason and 37 another and finished 22 both times.

Some believe he was the hardest thrower ever. Said Billy Herman, who faceed Bob Feller, Lefty Gomez and Dizzy Dean, “Van Lingle Mungo was the fastest pitcher I ever faced.”

Mungo said his fastball was once clocked at 109 miles an hour. Uh, yeah, sure. So what did they clock it with in 1934?

—HENRY & WILLIE: Can you imagine Henry Aaron and Willie Mays on the same team in the same outfield, Aaron in right and Mays in center?

It nearly happened, but $50 a month stopped it. The Braves and Giants both offered Aaron a contract.

“I had a Giants contract in my hand,” said Aaron. “But the Braves offered me $50 a month more. That’s the only thing that kept Willie Mays and me from being teammmates, $50.”

That might be the best $50 any major league team ever spent.

—ICH-ING TO HIT: Talk about consistency, was there any player more consistent than Ichiro?

When he arrived from Japan and the Seattle Mariners stuck him into the lineup, he grabbed his third hit in his 10th at bat, a .300 average.

And from that day forward, throughout his entire 19-year career, his career average never dipped below .300. He finished at .311.

Ichiro will be on the Hall of Fame ballot next year and should be a slam dunk first-ballot inductee.

—GIANT STEP UP: Looks to me as if football coach Chip Kelly was given a HUGE promotion. He went from head coach at UCLA to offensive co-ordinator at Ohio State.

—HE MISSED WHAT?: A pro golfer named Cristobal del Solar set a PGA-sanctioned tour record this week when he shot a 57 in the Astara Golf Championship in Bogata, Colombia.

During his 13-under par round on the par-70 course, he had two eagles , nine birdies and not a single bogey.

The PGA should borrow one of baseball’s asterisks for this round. The course is only 6,254 yards and the course is at 8,600 feet above sea level.

Well, he wasn’t infallible. He missed a six-foot birdie putt on the 18th hole or he would have shot 56, which is what I used to shoot on the front nine. . .on a good day.

—OL’ KING COLE: Larry Cole, a defensive end, was a 16th-round pick out of the University of Hawaii by the Dallas Cowboys, the 428th player picked in the 1968 NFL draft.

Despite his lowliness on the draft list, Cole survived 13 seasons with the Cowboys. And he had a claim to fame. As a defensive end, he scored four touchdowns.

After his fourth, he told writers, “I had an eerie feeling all day long that I was going to score a touchdown. It’s crazy to say that, but I did have this really eerie feeling, this really eerie hunch.”

And why was that?

“I guess because it was against the Washington Redskins,” he said.

And why was that? Because all four of his career touchdowns came against the Washington Redskins.

—THE ‘INSPIRATION’ GAME: Coaches sometimes display bizarre behavior when their teams are behind at halftime.

***Notre Dame was behind in a game and coach Knute Rockne didn’t appear in the lockerrom for a long time. Finally, Rockne stuck his hairless head inside the door and said, “Pardon me, ladies, I thought this was the Notre Dame dressing room.”

***University of Texas coach Darrell Royal once addressed his team at halftime by saying, “There is a hell of a fight going on out there on the field. Why don’t you fellows join it.”

***Oklahoma City basketball coach Abe Lemons found his team down 20 points at the half. After the game, he told writers he was speechless in the dressing room.

“I had a speech for 10 points behind or 11 or 15,” he said. “But I never figured on 20.” Instead, he immediately sent his team back on the floor for a scrimmage until the start of the second half.

***The topper, though, was reported by legendary Dallas columnist Blackie Sherrod. He wrote that at halftime of a Baylor game, coach Grant Teaff popped a big, fat purple earthworm into his mouth. And his team nearly removed the dressing room door from its hinges trying to escape their madman of a coach.

—NOTABLE QUOTABLES: Tickling the funny bone with more baseball comedy:

From Harvey Haddix after pitching 12 perfect innings and losing in the 13th: “What’s so historic about that. Did anyone ever lose a 13-inning shutout before?”

From John Lowenstein after messing up a sacrifice bunt: “Sure I screwed up the bunt. But I’m a better bunter than a billion Chinese. Those suckers can’t bunt at all.”

From Dave Parker on the late season: “September is pantyhose month. No nonsense.”

From former batting instructor Charlie Lau: “When Billy Martin reached for a bar tab, his arm shrinks six inches.”

From pitcher Bobo Newsome when asked how he pitched to Joe DiMaggio: “He has a weakness for doubles.”

From Dizzy Dean about dropping out of school after the second grade, “I didn’t do so good in the first grade, either.”

From former outfielder Richie Scheinblum: “I can’t hit any pitcher alive. . .if he stands still.”

—PLAYLIST NO. 17: So you think I’m at the bottom of my list? Nah.

Cryin’ For Me (Toby Keith), Paradise City (Guns N’ Roses), Take My Breath Away (Berlin), The Glory Of Love (Chicago), My Girl (Temptations), When Will I See You Again (Three Degrees), Manic Monday (The Bangles), House Of The Rising Sun (The Animals), Under The Boardwalk (The Drifters).

Where Did Our Love Go? (The Supremes), She Loves You (The Beatles), It’s My Life (Bon Jovi), Have You Ever Seen The Rain? (Credence Clearwater Revival), I Wanna Dance With Somebody (Whitney Houston), Nothing’s Gonna Stop Us Now (Starship), Should Have Been A Cowboy (Toby Keith).

,

By Hal McCoy

UNSOLICITED OBSERVATIONS from The Man Cave, devouring every written morsel about the upcoming baseball season. . .my 51st year trying to write about it.

—FIRST OR FOURTH?: Depending upon the day, or the hour, or the minute, prognosticators are predicting a first place finish for the 2024 Cincinnati Reds or a fourrth place finish.

Who ya gonna believe? Actually, nobody. It is all decided on the green, green grass near home plate and not by computers or analytics geeks. It is decided by flesh, blood and a lot of tears.

Just to enable Reds fans to be happy and angry at the same time, here are two examples posted on social media on the same day.

ONE: “This is the year the Reds return to the top of the National League Central. The Reds are the most improved team in the division from last year when they finished with 82 wins. They added five bonafide major league ballplayers. None of the other teams in the division can claim that they improved to a level higher than Cincinnati.”

TWO: “Despite their surprising 2023 season, PECOTA (whoever they are or it is) is joining the chorus of projection systems proclaiming regression for the Reds. They have Cincinnati finishing fourth in the National League Central with a 78-84 record.”

So when I find a web-site that predicts them to finish second, third or fifth, I’ll chime in again.

They make these predictions before the first pitch of spring training, before the roster is set, before the first pulled hamstring and the first Tommy John surgery. They are meaningless.

And I’ll leave you with a quote from Yogi Berra:
“Never make predictions, especially about the future.”

—NO ‘SMALL’ MARKETS: Let’s quit calling any major league baseball team ‘small market.’ It doesn’t exist and the so-called ‘small market’ Kansas City Royals proved it this week.

The Royals signed 23-year-old shortstop Bobby Witt Jr. to an 11-year extension to a guaranteed $288.7 million deal. And if, at 34, the Royals believe Witt can still play, they have a three-year option that takes the deal to $377.7 million.

Expect barbecue sandwiches in Kauffman Stadium to cost an arm, two legs and a third-born child.

—WALK ON BY: With less than a week before pitchers and catchers report to baseball, golf and fishing, Joey Votto remains standing in baseball’s unemployment line, or maybe sitting in his La-Z-Boy when he isn’t working out.

An interesting tidbit. Votto has reached base 300 or more times in a season three times in his career. Since 1950, only five players have done it more often.

Votto was a walking machine, taking more walks than my three dogs combined.

—A LOBO HOBO: There is a basketball player/mercenary at the University of New Mexico who is on a national tour to see how many basketball teams he can play for before the NCAA says, “Enough.”

Due to injuries and the Covid pandemic, Jamal Baker Jr. is in his sixth year of college basketball with his fourth team.

He played two years at Kentucky, two years at Arizona State, a year at Fresno State and now he is a Lobo.

Wonder if he has ever seen the inside of a classroom or ever learned the name of a professor?

—RIDE THE SUBWAY: While Amtrak runs through Durham, N.H. on its way to Boston, the town is still rural with a capital ‘R,’ even though it houses the main campus of the University of New Hampshire.

Imagine how difficult it is to recruit Division I basketball playerds to attend UNH. It has to be easier to find moose and bears.

My great friend, Mark Epstein, relates this story, as relayed to him by former UNH coach Billy Herrion. He retired last season after 18 years.

After his last season, some mid-level schools approached Herrion’s two best players to transfer for NIL money, around $25,000.

So Herrion went to the school president and said, “We have to get involved in the NIL program, get some sponsor money.”

And the president’s answer was, “Well, don’t all our players get free Subway sandwiches?”

Let’s hope they were Italian BMT’s and not Veggie Delites. A Veggie Delite would be enough to send one fleeing to Drexel or Coppin State.

—WHAT’S LOVE GOT TO DO WITH IT?: As a guy who used to play tennis nearly every day, sometimes twice a day, I never thought about the silly scoring system. It took comedian Brian Regan to point them out to me.

Why is zero in tennis called love? I never loved it when I had zero.

And the first point is 15 and the second point is 30. Stands to reason that the third point is 45, right? Nope, it’s 40.

Then when the score is 40-40, it is not called 40-40, it is called deuce. Deuce? I thought deuce meant two.

Goofy? As comedian George Carlin always said, “That’s my job, pointing out goofy things.”

—A REAL GOOD BALL: This was one golf ball that knew how to find the cup.

Preston Miller, 13, made a hole-in-one on a Minneapolis golf course. For some strange reason, he continued to use the same ball. And he lost it a few holes later.

While Miller celebrated his ace in the clubhouse, Ricardo Fernandez walked in babbling that he, too, scored a hole-in-one on a different hole.

The two discussed their shots when it was discovered that Fernandez found Miller’s ball and used it to score his hole-in-one. The same ball. It had the logo of Miller’s school golf team and Fernandez found it on the hole Miller lost it.

It is rumored that every other golfer in the clubhouse engaged in a hostile bidding war to buy the ball. But who really owned it. That’s easy. Finders keepers, right?

—QUOTE-UNQUOTE: More daffiness out of the mouths of baseball people:

From former utility infielder Billy Grabarkewitz: “I have so many splinters from sitting on the bench that if somebody struck a match I’d catch on fire.”

From Lou Camilli on Cleveland’s roster: “They are about to change our name to the Cleveland Electric Light Company because we don’t have anybody but utility men.”

From catcher Carlton Fisk when he was 43: “I don’t think I should be asked to catch when the temperature is below my age.”

From manager Lou Piniella after the Reds lost 20-8 on a 36-degree day: “We got to freeze our butts and get them kicked at the same time.”

From former catcher Gus Triandos before an old-timers game: “I don’t need a chest protector, I need a bra.”

From pitcher David Cone talking about teammate David Wells: “We have a pitcher from Japan, a pitcher from Cuba, a pitcher from Panama and Boomer Wells is from Mars.”

From Babe Ruth on Wrigley Field: “I’d play for half my salary if I could hit in this dump all the time.”

—PLAYLIST NO. 16: More tunes to be found on my iPod (Yep, I still have one) and the first one is in honor of the passing of Toby Keith:

Red Solo Cup (Toby Keith), I’m Still Having Fun (U2), Won’t Get Fooled Again (The Who), Don’t Bring Me Down (The Who), Beds Are Burning (Midnight Oil), Nothing Compares To U (Sinead O’Connor), Wicked Game (Chris Isaak), When I Need You (Leo Sayer), Sometimes When We Touch (Dan Hill), Annie’s Song (John Denver).

A Love So Beautiful (Roy Orbison), Words Don’t Come Easy (F.R. David), If I Can Dream (Elvis Presley), Knockin’ On Heaven’s Door (Bob Dylan), I Love Rock And Roll (Joan Jett & The Blackhearts), When A Man Loves A Woman (Percy Sledge), Good Lovin’ (The Rascals), Don’t Let The Old Man In (Toby Keith), Take A Chance On Me (Abba).

By Hal McCoy

UNSOLICITED OBSERVATIONS from The Man Cave, awaiting the pomp and circumstance of the Super Bowl. Why? Because once it is over, it is BASEBALL TIME.

—PLUGGING PINSON: Why has baseball evaded Vada Pinson for the baseball Hall of Fame. He isn’t Darth Vader. He was a baseball player with a lot of gloss.

Consider this, which the voters must have ignored or didn’t know: Pinson had three seasons of at least 200 hits, 20 home runs and 20 stolen bases. No other MLB player in history can make that claim.

Jose Altuve has done it twice and no other player did it more than once.

In our last episode, it was pointed out that Pete Rose had more hits than the combined total of Hall of Famers Scott Rolen and Joe Mauer.

I’m not picking on them because I voted for both Rolen and Mauer and believe they belong. But Vada Pinson’s placque should be hanging in Cooperstown right with them.

Pinson’s numbers are comparable and as far as hits go he has many more (2,757) than Rolen (2,077) and Mauer (2,123).

Vada’s other numbers: 256 homers, 1,169 RBI, .286 batting average. Rolen: 311 homers, 1,287 RBI, .281 batting average. Mauer: 143 homers, 923 RBI, .306 batting average.

—A JOLT FOR JOE: Speaking of the Hall of Fame, the voting baseball writers always take kicks in the pants for voting shortcomings. . .like ignorning Vada Pinson and Dave Concepcion.

But that’s nothing new. Grab a seat before you digest this: Joe DiMaggio did not make the Hall of Fame his first year on the ballot. Nor did he finish second or third. He finished fourth behind Dizzy Dean, Al Simmons and Bill Terry..Only Dean and Simmons made it.

When the Brookly Eaglen newspaper found Simmons at Hialeah Race Track in Miami to tell him, he kept saying, “Are you sure? Are you sure it’s me?”

DiMaggio should have made it just for marrying Marilyn Monroe, but he was included in the cass of 1955.

—SOAR WITH SOAR: With the Super Bowl creeping upon us, we send you back to 1938 and the pro football championship game between the Green Bay Packers and the New York Giants.

With a blinding storm piling up snow, a Packers guard named Buckets Goldenberg was heard to yell, “C’mon, guys. This game is for real dough. Big dough.”

But they lost, 23-17, in the Polo Grounds when Hank Soar caught a touchdown pass. Soar later became an American League umpire.

So, how much dough? Greenberg’s Packers each received $368.84 and Soar’s Giants won $506.45.

—PLAY FOR PAY: There is no doubt NIL (Name, Image, Likeness) and the transfer portal are turning college football into a messy morass, especially the mid-level schools who can’t pay athletes.

One example is Miami University, tucked away in the small hamlet of Oxford that makes one think of volunteer fire departments and justices of the peace.

Coach Chuck Martin guided the Redhawks to the Mid-American Conference Championship and a bowl appearance.

Then he lost three of his best players to the transfer portal because Power Five teams will pay them $250,000, $200,000 and $200,000.

“And six others were offered money to leave but say they are staying, but I check my text messages about every hour,” he said.

And does it work? One inside story is that Texas A&M supportors paid players close to $25 miillion last season and received a 7-6 record for their investment. And they paid coach Jumbo Fisher $75 million to skedaddle out of Texas and take his whistle and playbook with him.

—A ‘RICH’ NIGHT: Was fortrunate last Saturday to spend considerable time with former major league coach Rich Donnelly at Wright State University’s First Pitch dinner. His tear-jerking speech about the tragic deaths of his 17-year-old daughter to a brain tumor and his son that died after he was hit by a car had the Nutter Center floor as quiet as an ant walking on carpet.

Despite the tragedy in his life, Donnelly remains blessed with a deep sense of humor.

“One year with the Pittsburgh Pirates our team was so smal we had a shoe contract with Buster Brown,” he said. “And another team was so bad we considered a 2-and-0 count a rally.”

Donnelly coached for manager Billy Martin, noted heavy drinker, and was his designated driver, “Because I didn’t drink. Billy would drink Chivas Regal, one after another. The only thing it did was make him mean.”

Donnelly was standing next to Martin during the infamous marshmallow salesman incident. “This guy, the marshmallow salesman, walks up to Billy and says, ‘Ah, Billy Martin, tough guy. You don’t look so tough to me.’

“And he took a swing at Billy and then Billy knocked him out cold with one punch.”

If you haven’t seen the video with Donnelly talking about how the tragic events of his life affected him, check out ‘The Chicken Runs At Midnight’ on YouTube.

Have a handkerchief handy.

—QUOTES MACHINE: More gags and funny stuff from baseball people:

From catcher/broadcaster/humorist Bob Uecker on Philadelphia fans: “On off days, they go the airport and boo landings.”

From Pittsburgh pitching coach Don Osborne: “The only thing wrong with our pitchers is that they all have to pitch on the same night.”

From former outfielder/broadcaster Richie Ashburn, who used to wear me out on a clay tennis court: “The kid doesn’t chew tobacco, smoke, drink, curse or chase broads. I don’t see how he can possibly make it.”

From former pitcher Bill “Spaceman” Lee on how his team feels during a losing streak: “Our pain isn’t as bad as you might think. Dead bodies don’t suffer.”

From former pitcher/broadcaster Waite Hoyt on Babe Ruth’s ballpark eating habits: “If you cut that big slob in half, most of the concessions food at Yankee Stadium would pour out.”

From Former Reds catcher Dann Bilardello on Deion Sanders: “Down in Atlanta they have that guy they call Prime Time. In San Diego they call me No Time.”

From Clark Griffith, owner of the Washington Senators: “Fans like to see home runs and we have assembled a pitching staff for their enjoyment.”

From pitcher Curt Schilling on naming his dog Slider: “I can’t throw one, so I bought one.”

From former Reds pitcher Jose Rijo: “I can’t find my slider. I have to hire someone to find it for me. I’ve got to hire a detective guy.”

From pitcher Frank Tanana: “In the ‘70s I threw in the 90s. In the ‘90s I threw in the 70s.”

From Baltimore manager Earl Weaver on catcher Rich Dauer: “Rich Dauer is so slow we time him to first base with a calendar.”

From former Reds first baseman Harry Spilman on his lack of speed: “You can’t make a racehorse out of a mule.

From Ernie Fazio, when asked about using a lighter bat: “It’s lighter to carry back to the dugout after I strike out.”

From former Reds manager Dusty Baker on superstitions: “For five years in the minors I wore the same underwear and still hit .250, so, no, I don’t believe in that stuff.”

 

—PLAYLIST NUMBER 16: These songs were all One-Hit Wonders. Column A is songs I like and listen to. Column is songs I listened to once. . .and never again:

—COLUMN A: Angel In The Morning (Merilee Turner), To Know Him Is To Live Him (The Teddy Bears), Spirit In The Sky (Norman Greenbaum), Teen Angel (Mark Dunning), Wild Thing (The Trogs), MacArthur Park (Richard Harris), Little Star (The Elegants), Judy In Disguise (John Fred & The Playboy Band), Stranger On The Shore (Acker Bilt), Telstar (Tornados), Hooked On A Feeling (Blue Swede).

—COLUMN B: In The Year 2525 (Exordium & Terminus), Winchester Cathedral (The New Vaudeville Band), Mother-In-Law (Ernie K-Doe), Alley-Oop (Hollywood Argyles), Wipeout (Safaris), Green Tambourine (The Lemon Pipers), Dominique (The Singing Nun), Harper Valley PTA (Jeanie C. Riley), Girl From Ipanema (Astrud Gilberto & Stan Getz), Mr. Custer (Larry Verne), Denise (Randy & The Rainbows), Venus (The Shocking Blue) Kung Fu Fighting (Carl Douglas), My Sharona (The Knack), Ring My Bell (Anita Ward), Afternoon Delight (Starland Vocal Band).

 

By Hal McCoy

UNSOLICITED OBSERVATIONS from The Man Cave and I know baseball is upon us because I actually see the sun shining brightly outside The Man Cave window.

—BREWERS HELP REDS: The Cincinnati Reds may not have done much to improve the starting pitchig staff, but sombody else helped them immensely.

Sometimes when other teams make a trade, it helps a team not involved in the transaction.

To that end, the Reds and VP/of Baseball Operations Nick Krall had to be doing an Irish Jig or a Polka when they heard what the Milwaukee Brewers did.

The Brewers traded their ace pitcher, Cy Young winner Corbin Burnes to the Baltimore Orioles. Not only did the Brewers weaken themselves, they traded Burnes not only out of the National League Central but out of the National League.

And, of course, the Brewers lost manager Craig Counsell to the Chicago Cubs. That won’t help the Reds. It just makes the Cubs better and the Brewers weaker.

The Brewers finished nine games ahead of the Cubs in the NL Central last season and the guess here is that they won’t be a major factor this season. So. . .Cubs or Reds?

—KNOCK ON WOOD: Remember Alex Wood pitching for the Cincinnati Reds? If you blinked twice you may have missed it.

He was part of a gigantic trade before the 2019 season that brought Wood, Kyle Farmer, Matt Kemp, Yasiel Puig and cash to the Reds for Homer Bailey, Jeter Downs and Joshia Gray.

Farmer is the only one still with the same team. Wood was injured most of the 2019 season with the Reds, made only seven starts and was 1-3 with a 5.80 ERA.

After the season he was a free agent and the Reds let him walk and he signed with the Los Angeles Dodgers.

Why bring up Wood? He signed a one-year $8.5 million contract for the upcoming season with the Oakland A’s. Wouldn’t his veteran presence be useful for the Reds?

Maybe, maybe not. We’ll never know but let’s see how he does with the A’s.

—TWO FOR ONE: An old friend and Pete Rose advocate, Mark Fisher, pointed out to me, “Pete Rose has more hits (4,256) than Hall of Famers Scott Rolen and Joe Mauer combined.”

That’s true. Rolen (2,077) and Mauer (2,123) combined for 4,200 hits, 56 short of Peter Edward Rose.

Says Fisher, “Put Pete in the Hall of Fame.” Unfortunately, my friend, more than total hits are Hall of Fame considerations. And we all know what we’re talking about.

—IN HIS IMAGE: This one is the ultimate like father, like son and is something out of The Twilight Zone.

Both Cecil Fielder and his son, Prince Fielder, hit 319 career home runs. Now that’s bizarre enough, but also:

***Both hit 97 two-out home runs.

***Both had 49 fourth-inning home runs.

***Both had 27 fifth-inning home runs.

***Both had 18 ninth-inning home runs.

It is not known if both liked broccoli, spinach and asparagus.

—TWO FIRSTS FOR M.C.: When I arrived in Dayton in 1962 out of Kent State University, the Dayton Journal Herald sports staff was talking about M.C. “Mickey” McGuire.

McGuire is part of Dayton’s Black History Month. He was the first black quarterback to make All-City while he was at Dunbar.

And he was the first black from Dayton to make the majors. In 1962 he batted six times for the Baltimore Orioles.Then he spent five years in the minors before getting 17 more at bats with the O’s in 1967 and collected four hits.

Hey, he beat all odds by at least making the majors, even if it was for one-fourth of a cup of coffee.
—CASEY FROM KC: Never knew the derivation of ‘Casey,’ the name Charles Dillon (Casey) Stengel went by until I read about it.

Amazingly, it was in a column written in 1923 by New York columnist Damon Runyon after Stengel hit an inside-the-park home run to win the first game of the 1923 World Series for the New York Giants over the New York Yankees.

“In case you wonder, Stengel’s nickname comes from the fact he is from Kansas City. . .KC,” wrote. Runyon. I believe I was sitting three seats to Runyon’s left in the press box.

—QBs I HAVE KNOWN: At the risk of sounding like the curmudgeon who yells, “Get off my lawn,” I have something on my infertile mind about quarterbacks.

Why is it that the younger generation believes that Joe Namath invented the quarterback position? All the sports talk people, in purple and amethyst superlatives, debat who is the GOAT — Tom Brady, Patrick Mahomes, Joe Montana, Lamar Jackson, Dan Marino, Aaron Rodgers?

They forget there were legendary quarterbacks before the Super Bowl was born.

Off the top of my gray head, these names come to mind: Otto Graham, Sid Luckman, Sammy Baugh, Johnny Lujack, Frankie Albert, Y.A. Tittle, Bobby Layne, Tobin Rote, Johnny Unitas, Norm Van Brocklin, Bob Waterfield and Don Meredith.

Now get off my lawn.

—TRIVIAL TIDBITS (From readers):

This one is from Dave Parker (not the ballplayer): Two pitches have received Cy Young votes in the same season they lost 20 games. Who might they be?

Wilbur Wood was 24-20 in 1973 and received Cy Young votes. Phil Niekro was was 21-20 in 1979 and received Cy Young votes.

Hitters had to ‘knuckle’ under against Wood and Niekro. Both were knuckleball pitchers.

***This one is from avid reader Jeff Singleton: Who is the only player in MLB histroy to be traded for himself?

That would be catcher Harry Chiti Jr. In 1962 he was traded by the Cleveland Indians to the New York Mets for a player to be named later. That PTBNL was him. Later that season the Mets gave him to Cleveland, the PTBNL
—YOU CAN QUOTE ME: More “—“ from baseball folks:

From manager Lou Piniella when his Reds were performing poorly: “The only time we lose our concentration is when the umpire says play ball.”

From former pitcher Lefty Gomez: “When Neil Armstrong set foot on the moon, he found six baseballs Jimmy Foxx hit off me.”

From catcher/broadcaster/comedia Bob Uecker: “In 1962, I was named Minor League Player of the Year. It was my second year in the big leagues.”

From many times manager Billy Martin, criticizing an umpire: “He is so incompetent he couldn’t be a crew chief on a sunken submarine.”

From pitcher Mike Flanagan: “I could never play in New York. The first time I got into the bullpen car for a ride to the mound they told me to lock the doors.”

From pitcher David Coles on being traded to Philadelphia: “That’s too bad. That’s the only team I can beat.”

From John Kruk, describing his raucous Phillies team that included Mormon Dale Murphy: “We’re 24 morons and a Mormon.”

From Pittsburgh general manager Larry Doughty: “Baseball is supposed to be a non-contact sport, but our hitters take it literally.”

From pitcher Dean Chance, who once struck me out three times in a high school game: “Some days you can throw a tomato through a brick wall and other days you can’t dent a piece of glass with a rock.”

From infielder Tim Flannery after he retired: “I’ve become a professional go-getter. My wife goes to work and I go get ‘er.”

—PLAYLIST NO. 15: So you thought my playlist might be Running on Empty (Jackson Browne)? Not even close:

Love Hurts (Nazareth), Faithfully (Journey), Keep On Lovin’ You (REO Speedwagon), Missing You (John Waite), Dancing In The Dark (Bruce Springsteen), The Living Years (Mike & The Mechanics), Turn The Page (Bob Segar), Lady (Kenny Rogers), Total Eclipse Of The Heart (Bonnie Tyler).

Peaceful Easy Feeling (Eagles), Mrs. Robinson (Simon & Garfunkel), You Don’t Bring Me Flowers (Barbra Streisand, Neil Diamond), Kiss Me All Over (Exile), Southern Accents (Tom Petty), You Are The Reason (Colum Scott &Leana Lewis), Al I Have To Give (Charley Pride), Seven Spanish Angels (Willlie Nelson & Ray Charles).

By Hal McCoy

UNSOLICITED OBSERVATIONS from The Man Cave, excited that I can count the days until spring training on my toes and fingers, if I count my big toes twice.

—OH WHAT A RELIEF: Sitting in the bullpen waiting for a phone call that isn’t collect isn’t for everybody. It takes a special hombre, especially somebody with an erase button on their memory.

Starting pitcher Bill Singer once said, “The bullpen is a nice place to visit, but I wouldn’t want to live there.”

On the contrary, Dan Quisenberry spent his professional lifetime working out of Kansas City’s bullpen. And when he retired he said, “I want to thank all the pitchers who couldn’t go nine innings and manager Dick Howser, who wouldn’t let them go nine.”

And the bullpen even has some perks, if you wear the right number. Dodgers relief pitcher Joe Kelly wore 17, but when Shohei Ohtani signed his $750 million deal with LA he wanted number 17. So he gave Kelly’s wife, Ashley, a new Porsche. Kelly now will wear 99.

That brings us to a pair of guys with local ties, both relief pitchers who represented this area with ultimate class.

After attending Wright State University, Joe Smith pitched 15 years in MLB for eight teams. He made 866 appearances and was 55-34 with 30 saves (mostly as a set-up guy) and a 3.14 earned run average.

Smith announced his retirement this week.

Then there is Craig Stammen, who attended Versailles High School and pitched for Tony Vittorio at the University of Dayton. He then pitched 13 years in the majors for Washington and San Diego.

Like Smith, he also won 55 games and saved six, and mostly, like Smith, was a set-up guy.

Stammen tried to pitch last spring but a bad shoulder pushed his fastball down to about 83 miles an hour, retirement speed.

His one dream was to pitch for the team he grew up rooting for, the Cincinnati Reds. It never happened, but it was close.

“I was a free agent after the 2019 season,” he said. “I had about the same offer from the Reds and my Padres team. The Padres came up on their offer a little bit, so I decided to show some loyalty and re-signed with San Diego.”

His loyalty paid off. Not long after his retirement, the Padres offered him the bench coach job. Tired of traveling and wanting to spend more time with his wife and four kids, he said no. No problem. The Padres offered him a position as special advisor to the general manager. He took it.

“I ran into former Reds manager Bryan Price not long ago,” said Stammen. “He told me, ‘I wish we had signed you. We sure could have used you.’”

Price could have used a few good men. . .no, a lot of good men. . .during his tenure.

—SEVEN GOOD MEN: On the MLB Pipeline’s Top 100 prospects list, the Cincinnati Reds have seven players, the most of any team. Second best is the Baltimore Orioles with six.

Remember, though, many prospects are just suspects until they master all aspects. And I mean no disrespect. Nor am I being circumspect.

—WHAT CAN YOU DO?: Every coach that prepares his team to play the University of Dayton, tries to concoct a way to put handcuffs and leg irons around DaRon Holmes II, a pleasant young man with impeccable habits and an unselfish all-court game.

George Washington’s Chris Caputo was no different and his concerted efforts to map his team’s way around Holmes was a failure — 25 points, 12 rebounds, four assists and Caputo’s admiration.

Caputo tried mixing it up with single coverage, double coverage and stepping on his toes, knowing that Holmes plays with more brass than one finds in a Tijuana street band.

“We have a very good defensive center (6-10, 225-pound Nigerian Babatunde Akingbola),” said Caputo. “He had a hard time with Holmes. He’s a good passer. He’s obviously used to being doubled. He’s got good size and they’ve put a lot of good shooters around him.

“So you’re damned if you do (double team him) and damnes if you don’t,” he added. “You try to mix it up as best as you can. Holmes is probably the best player we’ve played against.”

—DRAWING EVEN: While perusing some statistics, Daniel Payne discovered an amazing note that went unnoticed after the University of Dayton-Rhode Island basketball game.

It was Rhode Island coach Archie Miller’s return to UD Arena, where he once coached. When the Flyers beat the Rhodies, it was UD coach Anthony Grant’s 137th victory as Flyers coach. And how many games did Archie Miller win as UD coach? 137.

—CHRIS WAS CROSS: Northwestern basketball coach Chris Collins enacted the tantrums of all tantrums at the end of his team’s overtime loss to Purdue this week.

Collins went berserk on the sidelines with one second left and was ejected. And he was comically animated toward the Purdue fans as he made his exit, stage right.

And who could blame him? The officials granted Purdue 46 free throws and only eight to Northwestern. Northwestern outgoaled Purdue, 38-33.

The kicker, though, was that near the end of the game what should have been an offensive foul against Purdue was called a blocking foul against Northwestern.

On that call, Collins rampaged on the sidelines like somebody pick-pocketed his wallet. . .and, well, he thought the officials pilfered he game.

—THE TITAN(ICS): Some folks disputed my assessment that 0-22 Mississippi Valley State is this season’s worst Division I basketball team.

“How about 0-22 Detroit Mercy?” one asked. Yeah, how about ‘em?

Amazingly, the misnamed ‘Titans’ (More like the Titanics) only lost to Ole Miss by one when they missed a shot at the buzzer. And Ole Miss hasn’t lost at hoe all season.

They lost in double overtime, 102-99, to Robert Morris when they led by 11 with seven minues left. And they’ve had a couple other two-point defeats. Mississippi Valley State has come close to victory just once.

In other Mercy games they’ve lost by 41, 35, 34, 32, 30, 32 and 22.

And the NCAA Evaluation Tool has Mississippi Valley State No. 362 among 362 Division I schools and Detroit Mercy is next-to-last at 361. So there.

—GOING, GOING GONE: As more and more of my contemporary sports writers leave us, it leaves me wondering, especially when I listen to one of my favorite singers, George Jones.

“…Who’s gonna fill their shoes, who’s gonna stand that tall?”

And my answer? Nobody.

—QUICK QUOTATIONS: More stuff said on and off the baseball field:

From Kansas City relief pitcher Dan Quisenberry: “Reggie Jackson hit one off me in Kansas City that is still burrowing its way toward St. Louis.”

From Alvin Dark, who managed Oakland, San Francisco and Cleveland: “With the A’s we depended on pitching and speed to win. With the Giants we depended on pitching and power to win. With the Indians, we depened on an act of God.”

From Pittsburgh’s Kevin Young on his team having 12 players on the injured list: “We have a lot of guys hurt, so all we can do is put our best foot forward and try not to sprain it.”

From Rod Carew on Reggie Jackdson: “The only thing Reggie Jackson can do better on a baseball field than me is talk.”

From Mickey Rivers, also talking about Reggie Jackson and the candy bar named after him: “The only thing missing in the Reggie Bar is mustard.”

From Hall of Fame pitcher Bob Feller on NBA legend Michael Jordan trying to play baseball: “He’s not a natural hitter and he couldn’t hit a curveball with an ironing board.”

From Ron Tingley on Charlie Hough’s tough-to-hit and tough-to-catch knuckleball: “He can embarass the batter on one pitch and embarass the catcher on the next pitch.”

From outfielder Rick Monday on Dodgers manager Tommy Lasorda, a lover of food: “Tommy is the only manager in the majors who eats his post-game meal with a letter opener.”

From former Phillies manager Danny Ozark after his team played bad: “We were as flat tonight as people used to think the earth was.”

From former Reds broadcaster Waite Hoyt when he heard a sculpture of Johnny Bench sold for $975: “In my day, for $975 you could buy a live catcher and his entire family.”

From former spitballer Gaylord Perry while announcing his retirement: “The league will be a little drier now, folks.”

—PLAYLIST NO. 14: Running out of songs? Not yet. Fortunately, there is a never-ending supply of memorable music:

It’s A Heartache (Bonnie Tyler), I Think We’re Alone Now (Tiffany), The Flame (Cheap Trick), I Guess That’s Why They Call It The Blues (Elton John), One More Try (George Michael), I Won’t Back Down (Tom Petty), Too Much Heaven (BeeGees), Africa (Toto), Southern Cross (Crosby, Stills & Nash), Guitars, Cadillacs (Dwight Yoakam).

I Want To Hold Your Hand (Beatles), Lean On Me (Club Noveau), Sweet Home Alabama (Lynard Skynyrd), Maggie May (Rod Stewart), Footloose (Kenny Loggins), Highway To Hell (AC/DC), Like A Rolling Stone (Bob Dylan), Cold As Ice (Foreigner), Please Mr. Postman (Marvelettes), Come On Feel The Noise (Slade)

By Hal McCoy

UNSOLICITED OBSERVATIONS from The Man Cave after destroying an entire bag of peanut butter pretzels courtside while watching UD’s Flyers get back on track with a big win over George Washington. George showed up, but Washington didn’t.

—TOUGH PUNISHMENT: It was 1954 and my father drove home a new robin’s-egg blue Oldsmobile Rocket 88. I was 14 and sneaked it out of the garage one day and tore up the left rear fender when I hit a cement wall that lined our driveway.

My punishment? I couldn’t listen to the 1954 World Series. That was harsh. So harsh. My team, the Cleveland Indians, were in it. They won 111 games to win the Americamn League pennant and I was certain they’d take care of the New York Giants in the World Series, and Willie Mays be damned.

As it turned out, I was happy I didn’t to listen as the Giants won four straight. And it wasn’t Willie Mays that disgusted me, despite his incredible back-to-the-infield over the shoulder catch of the 450-foot drive hit by Vic Wertz.

No, it was Dusty Rhodes, that damn Dusty Rhodes. He couldn’t even plau defense. He was a pinch-hitter because his manager, Leo Durocher, called him, “The worst defensive player ever to play in a major leaguer game.”

Rhodes hit a pinch-hit home run off Hall of Fame pitcher Bob Lemon to win the first game, a 255-foot blooper over the 254-foot right field wall in the Polo Grounds. As a 12-year-old Little Leaguer I once hit one farther than that. Once.

Rhodes ended up hitting another bloop home run and for the Series he was 4 for 6 and drove in seven guns.

Ah, but sweet revenge, sort of. When the Giants played their last game in the Polo Grounds in 1957 before moving to San Francisco, guess who made the final out in Polo Grounds history?

Yes, Dusty Rhodes on a meek ground ball. So why couldn’t he do that in the ’54 World Series?

—SPIT AND SHINE: It won’t be found in any record book, unless there is one called ‘Spittle Sprays,’ but Ted Williams holds the record for highest and longest spit launch on a baseball field.

Williams was a veteran of two wars, a great charity benefactor that mostly was done anonymously and the greatest hitter of his time and maybe all-time.

He also earned the title, ‘The Great Expectorator.’ He always was at odds with Fenway fans and the Boston baseball writers. Near the end of his career, as he left the field late in the season, he spit at the fans and at the press box.

And for that dirty deed, Williams was fined $5,000 by Red Sox manager Joe Cronin, perhaps the most expensive saliva ever produced.

—QUOTE: From Ted Williams after he heard that Denny McLain poured water over the heads of two writers: “I don’t think that’s too bad. I don’t know why I didn’t think of it.”

—SPARE THE ROD: When Rod Carew cracked his 3,000th hit, his Minnesota Twins manager, Gene Mauch, said it really was his 7,000th hit. Why? Because of the way Carew worked in the batting cage.

“Those 3,000 hits were only the tip of the iceberg,” said Mauch. “Rodney probably hit 4,000 others in batting practice. He didn’t just go up there in batting practice swinging away or playing pepper. Every swing had a purpose. Rodney in the batting cage was a University of Hitting. He worked longer hours than a plumber.”

—QUOTE: Rod Carew on hitting ‘em where they ain’t: “I get a kick out of teams trying to defense me. A player moves two steps in one direction and I hit it two steps the other way. It goes right by his glove and I laugh.”

—FOR HOW MUCH???: Pending approval, Peter Angelos is selling the Baltimore Orioles for $1.7 billion. That’s billion with a ‘B’ as in behemoth.

I’ve checked my wallet, my bank account and the loose change in my jeans pocket, but I’m about $1,666,666,699.98 short of being able to purchse the Cincinnati Reds.

Speaking of the Reds, long-time media relations director Rob Butcher is calling it an illustrious career after 27 years with the Reds.

And as is appropriate, Butcher’s long-time assistant, Larry Herms, steps in as head of the media relations department. Herms has served in the media relations department for 27 years.

The traansition will be seamless and in the totally capable hands of Herms, a dedicated and highly efficient media person.

And best of all, a really nice guy.

—OBI’S SCENERY CHANGE: When former University of Dayton megastar Obi Toppin was with the New York Knicks, to coach Tom Thibodeau Toppin was like Tamia’s song, ‘Stranger In My House.” Thibodeau harbors a misplaced mistrust of young players and lets them sit on the sidelines until their butts get numb.

The Knicks traded Toppin to the Indiana Pacers and it was personal liberation. Pacers coach Rick Carlisle harbors no qualms about whom he plays. If you produce you play.

In a game last week, Toppin led the Pacers with 23 points, 11 rebounds and had the winning stick-back bucket at the buzzer to win the game.

—MORE NBA STUPIDITY: Talk about archaic, the NBA has a patently stupid, dumb, preposterous rule that makes zero sense.

A player must appear in at leas 65 of the 82 regular season NBA games to qualify for any post-season awards. That means one of the NBA’s best players, Philadelphia’s Joel Embiiid, is out of consideration, due to injuries, for the Most Valuable Player award. He won’t play in 65 games.

Did I mention that the rule is patently stupid, dumb and preposterous?

—LALLAPA-LOSER: There has to be a worst team in Division I basketball, number 362 of 362 schools playing Division I. Who holds the dubious distinction?

That would be the Delta Devils of Mississippi Valley State, who have lost one less game than the number of letters in Mississippi Valley State.

The Dust Devils, er, Delta Devils are 0-21 and they’ve lost games by 59 points, 50, 46, 43, 39, 36, 32, 29 and 24. Their closest sniff at victory was a 68-65 overtime loss at Pacific.

MVS, a member of the all-black SWAC, has played only four home game and 17 on the road.

An acquaintance in Greenville, Miss., told me, “When the referee tosses the ball into the air to start the game, Mississsippi Valley State is down 10-0. From the sounds of the final scores, it is more like 20-0.

—DRIVE LIKE WHAT?: A friend spotted this bumper sticker: “I’m a veterinarian, so I can drive like an animal.”

Does that mean the roads are full of proctologists?
—QUOTING ‘EM AGAIN: Some more strange and wonderful things ballplayers say and these all are Cincinnati Reds related:

From Chris Sabo when somebody suggested he should pray for hits: “If it was that easy, Billy Graham would hit .400.”

From former pitching coach Stan Williams when asked what to do about his struggling relief pitchers: “I have an idea what to do about our bullpen. . .napalm.”

From pitcher Mark Portugal, who had several starts rained out while he was fueding with owner Marge Schott: “Mother Nature is my second worst female enemy and I won’t tell you who number one is.”

From broadcaster Ralph Kiner when Reds catcher Dann Bilardello came up to bat: “Now walking up to the plate is Don Bordello.”

From Pittsburgh pitcher Bob Patterson on the pitch he threw to give up a game-winning home run to Barry Larkin: “It was a cross between a screwball and a change-up. It was a screw-up.”

From Johnny Bench when asked after he retired if he would return to playing: “I thought about making a comeback until I pulled a muscle vacuuming.”

From outfielder Alex Johnson when asked to explain the power difference from hitting two home runs one year to hitting seven early the next season: “Five.”

From former manager Lou Piniella when asked how he handles the Nasty Boys — Rob Dibble, Norm Charlton and Randy Myers: “If I worried about my kids the way I worry about those kids, I’d get a Father of the Year award.”

From former Reds President/General Manager Bob Howsam: “Sparky Anderson came here promising to builld a team in his own image, so we’re looking for small white infielders with .213 batting averages.”

Bonus quote: Spoken to me when I interviewed Dayton-born pitcher Roger Clemens, who left town at an early age: “The best thing about Dayton was seeing it in the rear view mirror.”

—PLAYLIST NUMBER 13: So you’d think I would run out of songs? Not yet. Not ever.

You Raise Me Up (Josh Groban), Dock Of The Bay (Otis Redding), Heard It On The Grapevine (Marvin Gaye), Angel Of The Morning (Juice Newton), Fire And Rain (James Taylor), That’s What Friends Are For (Dionne Warwick).

Who’ll Stop The Rain (Credence Clearwater Revival), Mr. Bojangles (Nitty Gritty Dirt Band),
Can’t Help Falling In Love (Elvis Presley), I Want To Hold Your Hand (The Beatles), Draggin’ The Line (Tommy James).

By Hal McCoy

UNSOLICITED OBSERVATIONS from The Man Cave after a great night at the Portsmouth Murals baseball banquet as driver Sonny Fulks fought fog on the way over and fought fog on the way back. That’s OK because I’ve been accused of being in a permanent fog.

—WHISTLE BLOWER: Cincinnati Reds scout Gene Bennett, a resident of Wheelersburg, heard there was a 14-year-old kid across the river in Lynn, KY. who could throw as hard as any major league pitcher.

His name was Don Gullett. Bennett invited hin to a tryout/workout. He lined up nine college players to face the 14-year-old Gullett.

He struck out the first six and Bennett said, “That’s enough. I’ve seen enough.”

Said Gullett, “But I can get the other three, too.” Bennett permitted him to proceed and he struck out those three, too.

Bennett told him he would be back to sign him after he graduated from high school.

Bennett doubled as a basketball official and was working a McKell High School game, Gullett’s school and Gullett was McKell’s star player.

Early in the game, Bennett whistled a couple of quick fouls on Gullett and Gullett said, “If you don’t swallow that whistle I’m not going to sign with the Reds.”

So what did you do, Gene.

“I swallowed my whistle.”

—WHERE IS HE NOW?: Aroldis Chapman is Exhibit A, maybe B, too, about how modern MLB player are mercenaries.

Chapman signed a one-year deal with the Pittsburgh Pirates for $10.5 million. Even though Chapman helped the Texas Rangers win the World Series, they didn’t keep him.

So Chapman, whose first team was the Cincinnati Reds, will pitch for his sixth team in 14 years — Cincinnati, New York Yankees, Chicago Cubs, Kansas City Royals, Texas and Pittsburgh.

After one game in Cincinnati, my friend/driver Ray Snedegar and I were awaiting a light at a street corner near Great American Ball Park. A yellow Lamborghini screamed around the corner, nearly hitting us. It was Chapman.

How do I know it was Aroldis? The license plate read ‘105 MPH.’ The vanity plate indicated that he once threw a pitch 105 miles an hour. And he was driving close to 105, too.

—WHAT DID HE ‘SPAHN?’: After Willie Mays was called up from the minors to the New York Giants in 1951, he began his career 0 for 12 on the road.

When the Giants returned to the Polo Grounds, Mays’s first at bat was against Hall of Famer Warren Spahn.

Take it from here, Mr. Spahn.

“He swung and connected. The ball cleared the fence in left, it cleared the seats in the lower deck, it cleared the tall upper deck, it cleared the roof and disappeared,” said Spahn. “And that was one of the best curves I ever threw in my life. It must’ve broken a foot. Just think, if I got him out there we might not have had to deal with him ever again.”

—TRIVIA TIME: Who owns the highest career batting average in Cincinnati’s old Riverfron Stadium? Pete Rose? Nope. Joe Morgan? Nope. Sean Casey? Nope.

His initials are H.M.and his first name is Hal, but it’s not Hal McCoy. It’s Hal Morris at .319.

—70 VERSUS 100: Philadelphia’s Joel Embiid scored 70 points in a game this week and they called it a franchise record.

Semantics. It was a Philadelphia 76ers record, but not a Philadelphia record. Wilt Chamberlain scored 100 while wearing a Phildelphia Warriors uniform.

On the same night, Minnesota’s Karl-Antony Towns scored 62 and his coach, Chris Finch, was not impressed. Towns, seeking more and more points, went on a wild shooting binge in the second half.

It was so ugly Finch actually benched him for a while in the fourth quarter.

After the Timberwoves lost, 128-125, to the lowly and awful Charlotte Hornets, Finch went off.

“It was an absolutely disgusting performance of defense and immature basketball,” he said. “We totally disrespected the game, ourselves and we got exactly what we deserved.”

Did you hold anything back, coach?

—FIRED FOR WHAT: Speaking of the NBA (National Boredom Association), first-year coach Adrian Griffen had the Milwaukee Buckss at 30-13, second best record in the Eastern Conference at the season’s halfway point.

Griffin was summoned to the executive suite and probably figured a raise or a bonus was in order.

Instead he was told, “Turn in your iPad, you’re fired.” Say what? Why? Griffin must have been caught stealing the owner’s box of Keebler’s fudge-striped cookies.

Most likely, though, Griffin was too critical of superstar Giannis Antetokoumnpo’sdefense and Giannis complained to th office.

Let’s see, who should go, Griffin or Giannis? See ya, Mr. Griffin.

—I WASN’T JOSH-ING: A few years ago, I made an annual trip to Wyoming (Don’t ask why and skiiing was not involved).

I attended a University of Wyoming football game and witnessed a freshman quarterback sling the football all over War Memorial Stadium, the highest elevated stadium in Division I football at 7,220 feet.

When I returned, I stood and told my fellow Dayton Agonis Club members, “I just saw a quarterback for Wyoming that is going to be a star in the NFL.”

I heard guffaws and snickers and I’m certain they wondered if I fell off a mechanical bull in some Laramie watering hole. “Wyoming? Are you off your rocking horse?”

Well, that kid’s name is Josh Allen and, well, as Hall of Fame broadcaster Marty Brennaman would say, “How we lookin?”

—PUCKING AROUND: My one year working at the Detroit Free Press, the executive sports editor approached me in the office one day and said, “Our hockey writer can’t work tonight. Do you know hockey so you can cover the Red Wings?”

And I said, “Absolutely, I’ll do it.” In reality, I had never seen a hockey game and didn’t know a puck from one of my Aunt Nellie’s biscuits.

I dutifully trudged to Olympia Stadium and plopped down in the press box. I quickly displayed my ignorance by askin a writer seated next to me, “What’s that red light behind the net for?”

Well, at least I got to see Gordie Howe knock an opposing skater halfway to Hamtramck.

—YOU CAN QUOTE ME: More utterings from baseball players:

From Frank Robinson when he managed the Indians: “In Cleveland, pennant fever usually ends up being a 48-hour virus.”

—From manager Casey Stengel on managing the 120-loss New York Mets expansion team; “Our first game was April 10, 1962, and it was our best game. It was rained out.”

—From former Reds outfielder Dave Collins, who had a half-dozen ex-wives: “I hate the minor leagues. I’d rather go out to dinner with my ex-wife’s attorney than play in the minors.”

—From former pitcher Jim ‘Mudcat’ Grant: “The only good thing about Oakland is that long bridge that takes you directly into downtown San Francisco.”

—From former manager Whitey Herzog: “We only need two players to be contenders, Babe Ruth and Sandy Koufax.”

—From former Reds infielder Darrel Chaney, when asked how to keep the team on its toes: “Raise the urinals.”

From pitcher Bill ‘Spaceman’ Lee when he first saw the 37-foot high Green Monster left field wall in Fenway Park: “Do they leave it there during the game?”

From Bob Uecker when he played for the last place Philadelphia Phillies: “The cops picked me up at 3 a.m. and fined me $500 for being drunk and $100 for being with the Phillies.”

—From former Reds infield Rocky Bridges: “It’s a good thing I was in Cincinnati for four years. It took me that long to learn how to spell it.”

—From former Cincinnati Reds manager Jack McKeon: “I went to church yesterday to pray for our pitchers, but there weren’t enough candles.”

—From former Cincinnati Reds manager Ray Knight: “We got a lot of guys not doing what their bubblegum cards say what they can do.”

—PLAYLIST NO. 11 (Some of my mid-level picks:

Say Something (Great Big World), Another Day in Paradise (Phil Collins), Center Field (Credence Clearwater Revival), Hurts So Good (John Cougar), Are You Lonesome Tonight (Elvis Presley), Just Want To Be Your Everything (Andy Gibb), How Do I Live (LeAnn Rimes), Please Don’t Go (KC & The Sunshine Band.)

Centerfold (J. Geils Band), Telephone Line (Electric Light Orchestra), You’re So Vain (Carly Simon), Say You, Say Me (Lionel Ritchie), Sundown (Gordon Lightfoot), Right Here Waiting (Richard Marx), Air That I Breathe (The Hollies), Look Away (Chicago).

By Hal McCoy

UNSOLICITED OBSERVATIONS from The Man Cave keeping cozy in my new pea coat, realizing it won’t be needed in 22 days when Cincinnati Reds pitchers and catchers report to Goodyear, Az. on Valentine’s Day. Hey, ya gotta have heart.

—STILL TOO MANY: Cincinnati Reds fans remain perplexed why the team invested $45 million on infieder Jeimer Candelario when the team’s infield is more crowded than a circus clown car.

New general manager Brent Meador tried to explain it on an MLB podcast this week. Tried.

“A veteran bat was on our list (in the offsseason) to continue to try to lengthen our lineup,” he said. “The goal was to put a bat in the middle of our lineup. I don’t know if it’s a perfect fit and we’ll see how it all plays out.

“On paper it does look like we have one too many infielders. Candelario can play third, he can play first,” he added. “We have (Noel) Marte working back from a hamstring injury, (Matt) McLain working back from an oblique injury. So you just never know.”

No, you sure don’t.

“And we knew going into the offseason we’re a real young team, so we needed to bring some guys in to stabilize some spots and take some pressure off the young guys,” he said.

So that’s why they brought in Candelario and pitchers Nick Martinez. Frankie Mantos and Brent Suter?

“It’ the character, the makeup, who fits in our clubhouse, who can help show our young guys the way,” said Meador. “That’s where we feel strongly about the guys we brought in. All those guys check the boxes.”

—WRONG KIND OF TRIPLES: Brooks Robinson was known for his fast hands on defense at thrd base and his cement feet on the basepaths. He hols a dubious MLB record — most times to hit into triple plays (four).

“I have only one speed and it has never changed,” he said. “That speed is very slow.”

On defense, though, they called him the Human Hoover and he was revered and respected by all.

Said former San Diego third baseman Tim Flannery, “They want me to play third base like Brooks Robinson, but I play it more like Mel Brooks.
—A MOVIN’ MAN: Mike Morgan played in more MLB cities than Gone With the Wind. He pitched for 12 different teams, including the Cincinnati Reds, and wore a major league uniform for 25 years over four decades.

Asked how he survived so long, Morgan said, “Work hard, eat right, sleep right. . .and thank god there are 30 teams.”

When I asked him one day before he was to face the Chicago Cubs, one of his former teams, if that gave him extra incentive, he said, “No, not really. Nearly every team I face is my ex-team.”

Until late in his career, he was a starter and survived all those seasons despite never winning more than 14 games (twice). And he finished with a 141-186 record with a 4.23 earned run average.

His teams, in order: Oakland, New York Yankees, Toronto, Seattle, Baltimore, Los Angeles Dodgers, Chicago Cubs (2), St. Louis, Cincinnati, Minnesota, Texas and Arizona.

Clearly, the guy couldn’t keep a job.

—EXPENSIVE SWEATER: This never happens to you or me. in 2015, a couple was shopping in a Goodwill Outlet store. Not even a Goodwill Store, a Goodwill Outlet store.

They found a black sweater with ‘West Point’ in gold across the chest. They bought it for 59 cents. Remember that 59 cents.

When they got it home, they found a name written on the inside of the neck. The name? Vince Lombardi.

They had it chemically checked and sure enough the material was vintage 1953, the year Vince Lombardi was a football coach for Army at West Point. The sweater was put up at auction and sold for $44,000.

The sweater is now in the possesssion of Beavercreek’s Jack Giambrone, the world’s No. 1 expert of Lombardi, the famed Green Bay Packers coach. Giambrone also is the world’s number one collector of Lombardi memorabilia.

And he plans to donate the sweater to the West Point Sports Hall of Fame.

Giambrone recounted a great tale about the first Super Bowl in 1967, won by the Packers, 35-10, over the Kansas City Chiefs (The Chiefs didn’t have Patrick Mahomes then). After the second half kickoff, it was revealed that television was still on commercial break and missed the kickoff.

The network requested a do-over, kick it again. And they did it. Said Giambrone, “That’s something that has never happened again.”

As an aside, guess who Kansas City beat to get to the Super Bowl? The Buffalo Bills (The Bills didn’t have Josh Allen then).

—FITS THE ‘BILL’: Former New England Patriots coach Bill Belichick was given a second interview with the Atlanta Falcons.

A second interview? Why does Bill Belichick even need a first interview? He is Bill B-e-l-i-c-h-i-c-k.

But it is understandable why Belichick agreed to a second interview. It was conducted on a yacht in The Virgin Islands.

—CZECH IT OUT: Asking for a friend of a friend’s second cousin: If Czecb Republic native Vit Krejci of the NBA’s Atlanta Hawks has a double-double, is it czech and double czech?

—A ‘BRAVE’ QUESTION: Tyler ‘Rattboy’ Wessel posted a wonderful trivia question on social media: “Who was the only pitcher to win games against the Boston Braves, Milwaukee Braves and the Atlanta Braves?”

It sent me researching. First I checked on the franchise’s movements. The Boston Braves became the Milwaukee Braves in 1953 and the Millwaukee Braves became the Atlanta Braves in 1966.

Now it was time to search for pitchers with longevity during those time periods. And I found him.

Answer: Robin Roberts. His career began in 1948 and he beat Boston 12 times while with the Philadelphia Phillies. Then he beat Milwaukee while still with the Phillies 21 times.

His last year was 1966, Atlanta’s first year. Roberts pitched briefly that season for the Chicago Cubs and beat Atlanta once.

Oh, yeah. . .too much time on my hands.

During his last season, Roberts was running in the outfield before a game when Bob Gibson approached and bluntly said, “Why don’t you quit? It’s such a shame that you are ruining a great career by just trying to hang on.”

Roberts did quit and said, “Years later, I saw Gibson trying to do the same thing.”

Roberts was once asked about his greatest All-Star thrill and he said, “When Mickey Mantle bunted with the wind blowing out in Cincinnati’s Crosley Field.”

—QUOTE QUOCIENT: By popular request, more of my favorite baseball quotes to put us in the mood for spring training, less than a month away. . .and don’t ask, “Who’s counting?” I am.

—From Reds manager Davey Johnson, talking about relief pitcher Rob Dibble: “I tell him something and it goes in one ear, hits something hard and bounces back out.”

—From Johnny Pesky, for whom the right field foul pole is the Pesky Pole in Fenway Park: “When you win, you eat better, sleep better, your beer tastes better and your wife looks like Gina Lolobrigida.”

—From the quote machine, Reggie Jackson: “The only way I’m going to win a Gold Glove is with a can of spray paint.”

—From Mookie Wilson, when asked why he and his wife got married in a ballpark: “My wife wanted a big diamond.”

—From spitballl pitcher Gaylord Perry, teasing Los Angeles manager Tommy Lasorda about always saying he bled Dodger blue: “Wait until Tommy meets the Lord and sees that He’s wearing pinstripes.”

—From my sportswriting hero, Jim Murray: “The last time Willie Mays dropped a pop fly he had a baby rattle in one hand and a bonnet on his head.”

—From pitcher Don Sutton, when he was accused of using a ‘foreign substance’ on the ball: “Not true at all, Vaseline is manufactured right here in the United States.”

—From infielder Bob Aspromonte, who once was part of a Jim Murray line describing the California Angels double play combination as, “From Fregosi to Aspromonte to Avalon Boulevard,: “I’ve heard of guys going 0 for 15 or 0 for 25, but I went 0-for-July.”

—From manager Gene Mauch, talking about playboy pitcher Bo Belinsky: “I wish I had 10 pitchers with Bo Belinsky’s stuff and none with his head.”

—From Hall of Fame pitcher Tom Seaver: “There are only two places in this league, first place and no place.”
—PLAYLIST NO. 10: It’s country time:

He Stopped Lovin’ Her Today (George Jones), Smoky Mountain Rain (Ronnie Milsap), Kiss An Angel Good Morning (Charley Pride), Behind Closed Doors (Charley Rich), If Tomorrrow Never Comes (Garth Brooks), I Hope You Dance (Lee Ann Womack).

I Walk The Line (Johnny Cash), Forever And Ever, Amen (Randy Travis), I Will Always Love You (Dolly Parton), I’m So Lonesome I Could Cry (Hank Williams), Stand By Your Man (Tammy Wynette), Ring of Fire (Johnny Cash), The Most Beautiful Girl (Charlie Rich), Hello Darlin’ (Conway Twitty), I Fall To Pieces (Hank Cochrane).