Category: Observations

By HAL McCOY

UNSOLICITED OBSERVATIONS from The Man Cave while watching the Pittsburgh Steelers score 14 points with only one play from scrimmage in 13 seconds. Ben Roethlisberger threw a 75-yard touchdown pass on his first play of the game, then Vince Williams intercepted a Cam Newton pass for a pick-six.

And when it was over, it was Steelers 52, Carolina 21 as Pittsburgh turned the Panthers into a Fig Newton.

The 52 points were the most the Steelers ever scored at home in their current stadium. Big Ben clocked a perfect quarterback rating by hitting 22 of 25 passes for 329 yards and five touchdowns. He hit nine different receivers.

And what did Newton say after the slaughter? “We just got whupped, man. We just got whupped.” On this night it was the NFL’s version of Duke-Kentucky on the basketball floor, with Roethlisberger playing the part of Zion Williamson, who plays basketball like a tight end.

Browns and Bengals fans, all Steelers haters, had to cringe and most probably switched channels to Naked & Afraid. Steelers holdout Le’Veon Bell was spotted playing basketball at a gym in Pittsburgh. He, too, has to be cringing about getting his job back if he signs. Who needs him? Not the Steelers, as good as he is.

—Bill James, the godfather of baseball sabermetrics and currently an independent advisor to the Boston Red Sox. But somehow those dancing numbers in his brain became scrambled.

Here is some of what he posted on social media this week: “If the players all retired tomorrow, we would replace them and the game would go on. In three years it would make no difference whatsoever. The players are not the game, any more than the beer vendors are.”

James evidently lost his memory, too. Doesn’t he remember the 1995 fiasco when the players were on strike and MLB tried to populate teams with replacement players during spring training? And try as I might, I can’t find the record for most beers sold by a vendor in one game or the career record for most beer lugged and chugged in one year from one vendor’s case.

And whatever happened to that Dr. Pepper vendor who invented the college football playoff system? He’s the only vendor who ever became famous and he sold soda pop, not beer. But I do know at least three guys who believe beer vendors are more important than baseball players.

—Alex Bregman isn’t a beer vendor, he is one hell of a baseball player for the Houston Astros. And a man with a heart who knows how to use his fat wallet.

He and a couple buddies found out a waitress in a Houston bar was having financial problems, was attending college and had her care broken into.

So they went to the bar, ordered water, faked a phone call that called them away and he left a $500 tip. Then they came back in and the waitress was in tears.

–Wonder who will be the first under the new manager to refer to the Reds as the Cincinnati Bells? Oh, I guess it was me.

—The Red Sox Magic continues. An 84-year-old great grandfather won $100,000 in the Massachusetts lottery by using five Boston Red Sox uniform numbers. He picked 11 (Rafael Devers), 16 (Anthony Benintendi), 19(Jackie Bradley Jr), 22 (Rick Porcello) and 25 (World Series MVP Steve Pearce).

I’m figuring my Reds numbers right now and I’m thinking 3 (Scooter Gennett), 6 (Billy Hamilton), 16 (Tucker Barnhart, 19 (Joey Vott0) and 25 (Cody Reed). Of course, those numbers probably won’t hit.

—Pittsburgh wide receiver Antonio Brown, sometimes rhetorically referred to as running 100 miles an hour pass patterns for quarterback Ben Roethlisberger, actually was clocked this week at 100 miles an hour in his black Porsche on a Pittsburgh street.

So is his new nickname The Brown Blur? And a judge might be the first guy on a bench to slow him down.

—Speaking of cars, these are the cars I have owned, in order: 1954 Oldsmobile Rocket 88, 1958 Edsel Citation, 1960 Chevrolet Impala, 1962 Rambler (fire engine red). 1967 Ford Galaxie 500, 1970 Dodge Charger, 1975 Buick Turbo-charged (V6), 1980 Buick Regal, 1986 Pontiac Trans-Am Firebird (with wings on the hood), 1990 Pontiac Trans-Am Firebird (more wings on the hood), 1995 Dodge Daytona (flames on the door panels), 1998 Toyota Camry, 2000 Toyota 4Runner.

And now that I can’t drive, Nadine has conveyed me around in a 2005 Toyota Avalon, a 2011 Lincoln MKZ and a 2016 Lincoln MKZ. Now you might understand why my all-time favorite singing group is The Cars.

By HAL McCOY

UNSOLICITED OBSERVATIONS from The Man Cave, laughing while reading that the University of Dayton’s Wednesday basketball opponent, North Florida, is nicknamed the Ospreys and its male and female mascots are named Ozzie & Harriet.

—This is from the Detroit Free Press (where I worked for a year) about Saturday’s Ohio State-Michigan State game in East Lansing: “The Buckeyes rank fourth in the country at 547 yards per game but have not yet played a defense this good, one that got even stronger against the pass with the return of cornerback Josiah Scott on Saturday (against Maryland). It will be just as big a test for the Ohio State offense to prove it can post video game-like numbers against an angry bunch of Spartans who are a year older, stronger and tougher.”

Sparty is still angry over last year’s 48-3 defeat at The Horseshoe when the quarterback was sacked six times. Sounds as if they should be angry with their offensive line.

—Speaking of Michigan State, I was working at the Detroit Free Press in 1966, covering the Spartans, including that famous 10-10 tie with Notre Dame when the Irish were No. 1 and Michigan State was No. 2.

I was at lunch one day with MSU coach Duffy Daugherty and some other writers, including the famous New York columnist Jimmy Powers. He couldn’t drive, so I chauffeured him around campus.

Daughterty was drawing plays on napkins when he spilled a glass of water on a napkin on which he was drawing a play. Without pausing, he said as he continued to draw, “That’s OK. We have to play on a wet field, too.”

—Kalvoski Daniels, former Reds left fielder, posted on Facebook a copy of Baseball America’s Top Prospects list from 1985. It read from the old Class AAA American Association: Best hitter, Kal Daniels; Fastest runner, Eric Davis; Best baserunner, Billy Hatcher; Best defensive second baseman, Tom Runnells.

Those four players all ended up playing for the Reds. And you know what? Wasn’t Eric Davis a whole lot more than a fast runner?

—Billy Hamilton didn’t win a Gold Glove, again. Old news. Atlanta’s Ender Inciarte of Atlanta won it for the third straight year for center fielders. All this emphasizes is the voting managers and coaches hold it against Hamilton because he can’t hit, can’t bunt (It’s a defensive award, fellows) and he plays for an irrelevant team.

—Cincinnati Bengals wide receiver A.J. Green is expected to miss at least the next three games with a foot injury. That might mean the Bengals will lose the NFL’s AFC North by a foot.

—Booger McFarland, ESPN football analyst and LSU graduate on his alma mater’s 29-0 loss to Alabama: “Alabama is good, but they aren’t 29 points better than LSU.” Say what? Didn’t ‘Bama prove that on the field? Actually, Alabama might be 40 points better.

And how would you like to go through life known as Booger? Does he have a brother named Snot?

—The Cleveland Indians are not-so-good under pressure. The Tribe has lost nine straight games when facing elimination in the post-season, the longest streak in postseason history. There must be something in the Lake Erie water other than oil slicks and flotsam.

—Do you win-starved Reds fans realize that your team still has the longest World Series winning streak, nine straight. They won the final game of the 1975 World Series, then four straight in 1976 and four straight in 1990. That record isn’t likely to be extended or broken for a long time. A team has to actually play in the World Series to extend that record or have it broken and the Reds haven’t sniffed a World Series in 28 years, before most current Reds players were born.

Since Lou Piniella led the Reds to that 1990 sweep of the Oakland A’s, the Reds have had 12 managers — Tony Perez, Davey Johnson, Ray Knight, Jack McKeon, Bob Boone, Dave Miley, Jerry Narron, Pete Mackanin, Dusty Baker, Bryan Price, Jim Riggleman and David Bell.

And Reds CEO Bob Castellini is still mad at me for asking, after he fired general manager Wayne Krivsky, when the organization was going to show some stability. His answer: “We just aren’t going to lose any more.” Uh, OK.

—The Arizona Cardinals cut quarterback Sam Bradford this week and he laughed all the way to The Bahamas. He played three games this season and Arizona paid him $15.3 million. It was the biggest robbery in the history of the Sonoran Desert.

—The top two college football teams in the country this year: 1. Alabama. 2. Alabama’s Second Team.

By HAL McCOY

UNSOLICITED OBSERVATIONS from The Man Cave while watching a delayed telecast of the Penn-Cornell football game (I’m demented) and I swear there aren’t 50 people in the stands. It is 0-0 and I check something else on my cellphone and discover Penn won, 20-7. Nobody gave me a spoiler alert.

—Several football fanatics gathered around a table at The China Palace in Englewood for lunch Friday afternoon and somebody noted that Clemson was a 40-point favorite over Louisville. Everybody had a good laugh.

“Clemson is good, but I’m not giving any football team 40 points,” somebody said. “That’s absurd.”

Final Score: Clemson 77, Louisville 16, a 61-point victory.

Think about this one: Clemson beat a 2-and-6 team by 61. Ohio State, also playing a 2-and-6 team (Nebraska) and favored by 17 1/2, won by five (36-31).

And the other shocker was Michigan’s win over Penn State, not that the Wolverines won, but the fact they won, 42-7.

With Ohio State’s onion skin defense, one shudders what might happen when Michigan comes calling and, heaven forbid, what Clemson might do to the Buckeyes.

Unfortunately for all the Alabama-haters and Nick Saban-haters, the Crimson Tide was a Crimson Tsunami Saturday night in Baton Rouge, where LSU was expected to put up a fight. The Bayou Bengals didn’t even scratch a cheek during Alabama’s 29-0 win.

Notre Dame? If the Irish win out, an odds-on possibility, they would be a popular pick for the Final Four and most likely be a preparatory meal for either Alabama or Clemson in the semifinals.

That School Up North? Ohio State wishes they would stay up north.

Why don’t they just cut to the chase, cut to the quick, cut corners right now and name Alabama vs. Clemson once again in the national championship game?

—Some cool comments from reader Dennis Singleton: “I calculate the cumulative batting average for both teams in the World Series was 76 for 378, .201. One less hit and it would have been under .200.”

In other words, one less hit and the World Series cumulative batting average would have been under The Mendoza Line, which in baseball is like The Maginot Line.

And speaking about game lengths, the first game Babe Ruth played took 1:33. The longest of the first 15 World Series games took 2:02. Why? No TV commercials and teams didn’t change pitchers like a mother changing the diapers of a sick baby.

Singleton also brought up Jim Kaat, one of the all-time quickest-working pitchers. He was in his wind-up when the catcher returned the baseball. Watching video of Kaat is like watching a current pitcher on fast forward.

—Nostalgia Nook: In the 1950 NBA draft, fans wanted the Boston Celtics to draft some kid out of Holy Cross. Said venerable cigar-chomping coach Red Auerbach, “We don’t draft local yokels.” Instead, the Celtics drafted Charlie Share.

The kid, who loved throwing blind no-look passes and behind-the-back passes, ended up with the Chicago Stags. But in his first season the Stags folded and the roster was dispersed in a blind draw to other NBA teams. And who did the Celtics draw out of a hat? The kid. One of Boston’s scouts said, “If he tries those Fancy Schmancy passes in this league, they’ll shove them down his throat.”

That kid’s name was Bob Cousy and along with Bill Russell they led the Celtics to eight straight NBA titles. And Cousy led the league in assists with those Fancy Schmancy passes eight years in a row.

Now that was really a cat in the hat. In the late 1960s, I was fortunate to cover the NBA’s Cincinnati Royals (now the Sacramento Kings) and Cousy was the coach of a team that had Oscar Robertson and Jerry Lucas on its roster.

—At the same period of time, I covered the University of Dayton football team when it still played Division I. The team was coached by John McVay, who later coached the New York Giants and was director of operations for the San Francisco 49ers with fabled coach Bill Walsh.

McVay is the grandfather of Sean McVay, coach of the Los Angeles Rams. On McVay’s staff at Dayton was Wayne Fontes, who later coached the Detroit Lions, Tom Moore, long-time offensive co-ordinator for the Pittsburgh Steelers and now assistant coach for the Arizona Cardinals, and Jim Gruden, father to current Oakland coach Jon Gruden and to Washington Redskins coach Jay Gruden.

Now that’s some coaching lineage right there, all stemming from McVay’s UD staff.

—These items, Mr. DJT, are what qualifies as real Fake News:

The Cincinnati Reds offer Bryce Harper a 10-year $350 million contract. Harper signs immediately.

Bill Belichick quits the New England Patriots to take over the Cleveland Browns and says, “The Browns have a better future than the Patriots.”

Mike Brown fires Marvin Lewis, hires Hue Jackson as head coach, trades Andy Dalton and lures Peyton Manning out of retirement.

LeBron James is traded back to the Cleveland Cavaliers and says, “I’m here to bring an NBA title to the best city on earth, a city I will never leave.”

Tiger Woods and Phil Mickelson play their head-to-head match on TV and both shoot 81, but nobody watches it.

Ohio State shuts out Michigan, 35-0, as Buckeyes quarterback Dwayne Haskins passes 75 times and OSU rushes for nine yards. Michigan coach Jim Harbaugh says the Buckeyes used illegal formations the entire game and were never called for it.

Manny Machado wins baseball’s ‘Hustle Award’ and ‘Mr. Personality Award’ at the ESPYs and during his acceptance speech calls the Boston Red Sox a bunch of punks.

Pete Rose is finally placed in baseball’s Hall of Fame and during his enshrinement speech he says, “I would have bet this would never happen and, in fact, I took the Vegas odds against it.”

Billy Hamilton wins a Gold Glove and turns it down, issuing this statement: “I deserved this the last three years and didn’t get it, so why am I getting it now? Now I’m going to go practice my bunting.”

— As of November 1, 12 Sirius radio stations were airing nothing but Christmas music. With the risk of being accused of being The Grinch, “C’mon. Really? Are you kidding me?”

By HAL McCOY

UNSOLICITED OBSERVATIONS from The Man Cave from a lost soul after baseball season abruptly ended Sunday night. What now?

—Los Angeles Dodgers manager Dave Roberts is a fine, upstanding citizen, but he listened too much to the sabermetrics people in the plush chairs in the front office.

He gave away the first two games when just because Boston started two left handed pitchers Roberts started an entire right handed lineup. That meant he benched three left handed hitters with 109 home runs — Cody Bellinger, Yasmani Grandal and Joc Pederson. Those guys are major league hitters who were successful during the season. And they can’t hit a left handed pitcher?

Granted, those three all were busts when they did play, but perhaps their confidence was sabotaged when they had to sit to start the first two games. When the Dodgers lost those first two games, I said to my two schnoodles, Cooper and Paige (they watched every game with me), “This World Series belongs to the Red Sox.”

—How is this for a kick in the shins to Cleveland Browns fans? Chandler Catanzaro, the Tampa Bay kicker who hit a 59-yard field goal in overtime to beat the Browns, missed an extra point the next week against the Cincinnati Bengals.

—And then there is Browns alleged placekicker Chris Joseph. He missed a makeable field goal Sunday against the Steelers and then, when the Browns scored a touchdown and needed only an extra point to pull within a field goal, Joseph clanked the extra point, leaving the Browns four points behind.

Tryouts will be held this week outside First Energy Field. The Browns will furnish a holder.

—Speaking of the Browns, the ink was barely dry on a column by close friend and talented Terry Pluto of the Cleveland Plain Dealer, saying it would be foolish to fire coach Hue Jackson, when the Browns became foolish.

Just hours after Pluto posted his column the Browns fired Jackson, who won two games and tied one during his 2 1/2-year run.

A Jackson team never won a game on the road and even though he is considered an offensive wizard the Browns scored six touchdowns in their last four games.

It brought to surface the old joke about what to do in case of a tornado in Cleveland. Go stand in the Browns end zone because nothing touches down there.

—Speaking of kickers, University of Dayton punter Sean Smith certainly has a future in the NFL. And that’s not just because he punted a ball 80 yards from the back of his own end zone against Butler University. And he kicked the laces.

Smith, a senior, has averaged 42.3 yards per punt for his career, sixth best of all FCS punters. He is averaging 44.5 yards for his 28 punts this season.

With 200 punts for his career, he has 77 inside the 20 and only 20 touchbacks, which constantly puts the opposition in poor field position.

Smith is a cinch to make the all-Pioneer Football League first team for the fourth straight year and was the only freshman to make it in 2015.

—Speaking of UD football, the Pioneer Football league is non-scholarship and everything is based on need.

That doesn’t mean the football isn’t entertaining. It is highly competitive and extremely skilled and worth checking out. And the price is right.

The Flyers haven’t had back-to-back losing seasons since 1975-76, 42 years ago when Gerald Ford was president, gas was 60 cents a gallon and there were no Star Wars movies.

And the Flyers have not been shut out in 465 straight games, dating back to 1976. They lost, 9-0, to Marshall University on October 16, 1976, when UD still played Division I football.

—Judging talent apparently wasn’t a strong suit way back when at WHIO radio in Dayton. Hall of Fame broadcasters Chris Schenkel and Jack Buck both applied for jobs and were shown the door.

—Joey Votto is a fantastic offensive player, no questions asked, one of the best all-time for the Cincinnati Reds. But a Gold Glover? Who is kidding who with Votto’s inclusion as a Gold Glove finalist this year? Anybody who watched his play this year knows his defense was suspect at best. Manager and coaches do the voting. What were they watching?

—Because somebody asked: David Bell and Buddy Bell are the fifth father-son combination to manage in the majors. The others are Connie Mack and Earl Mack, George Sisler and Dick Sisler (who also managed the Reds), Joel Skinner and Bob Skinner, Bob Boone (who also managed the Reds) and Aaron Boone.

—When the Dayton Dragons Class A baseball team makes its trips across the Midwest, the transportation is furnished by Buckeye Charters of Dayton.

And next year the Dragons will travel in style, as much as bus travel can be stylish. Buckeye purchased a new $500,000 bus, all white with Dayton Dragons Baseball Club painted in large green lettering.

And there is extra space for comfortable leg space between seats. But how comfortable can one get for a 7 1/2-hour ride from Dayton to Cedar Rapids, even in a luxury motor coach?

—The Cleveland Cavaliers fired coach Tyronn Lue just six games into the NBA season, all six games were losses.

Lue was the Cavs coach last year, but really was an assistant coach because LeBron James was the real coach. And now that James is in Hollywood it is doubtful the Cavaliers will win 20 games this season, even if Red Auerbach was the coach. OK, you Millennials, ask your grandpa who Red Auerbach was.

—On the same night the Boston Red Sox and Los Angeles Dodgers played an 18-inning World Series game, the Japanese World Series began.

And Game 1 ended in a tie. Huh? The Hiroshima Carp and Fukuoka Hawks played to a 2-2, 12-inning tie.

In the Japan Series, games are called draws after 12 innings. If the series is tied after seven game (3-3-1), a Game 8 is played, and games continue until one team has won four games.

Maybe that’s better than putting a runner on second base to start the inning in extra-inning games as they do in minor league games in the USofA.