OBSERVATIONS: Rose Still Betting on the Reds

By Hal McCoy

UNSOLICITED OBSERVATIONS from The Man Cave, completely bowl-ed over and bleary-eyed after a steady diet of football and shrimp cocktail. And I’m not sure which made my cry, Ohio State’s loss or St. Elmo’s cocktail sauce.

—LONG TIME COMING: There is no doubt Georgia’s spine-tingling 42-41 victory over Ohio State was, as they say, one for the ages, even though it aged Buckeye fans about 25 years in one night.

If that one was one for the ages, what was the Cotton Bowl and Tulane’s mind-boggling 46-45 win over Southern California? Tulane’s nickname is the Green Wave, but to USC it is Tidal Wave.

Tulane quarterback Michael Pratt threw only 17 passes, but the last one with nine seconds left from the 6-yard-line to Alex Bauman tied the game. And when Valentino Ambrosio kicked the extra point, it was the only time all afternoon that Tulane led.

USC quarterback and Heisman Trophy winner Caleb Williams was 37 for 52 for 459 yards and five touchdowns. Not enough, though. Tulane running back Tyjae Spears carried 18 times for 210 yards and four touchdowns.

Did you know that Tulane was a charter member of the Southeastern Conference and played in the Sugar Bowl in 1940?

Tulane’s president didn’t like the way he thought the SEC was de-emphasizing academics and the school dropped out. And it fell on hard times in the football world.

In 2021, Hurricane Ida wrecked Tulane’s football facilities and the team played every game away from home. Their ‘home’ and practice facility were in Birmingham, 343 miles from their New Orleans Campus and they went 2-and-10, including a 61-21 annihilation by Ole Miss.

A year later, this season, the Green Wave went 12-2, won the American Athletic Conference title, and was in its first major bowl since that 1940 Sugar Bowl appearance. Amazingly, going from 2-and-10 to 12-and-2 is the biggest turnaround in major college football history.

—FOR PETE’S SAKE: Legal sports betting commenced at midnight New Year’s Day and Pete Rose made the first bet. . .of course he did.

It was at the Hard Rock Casino in Cincinnati. Ever loyal, the Hit King wagered $100 on the Cincinnati Reds to win the World Series. So Pete is still betting on the Reds.

He would stand a better chance if he bet that
the Reds would sign him and he would collect another 1,000 hits.

—QUOTE: From famous comedian W.C. Fields: “Horse sense is the thing a horse has which keeps it from betting on people.” (And horses are more reliable than a lot of people.)s—YER OUT: Ten of MLB’s best umpires turned in their retirement papers after last season — Greg Gibson, Ted Barrett, Bill Hallion, Jim Reynolds, Marty Foster, Sam Holbrook, Jerry Meals, Paul Nauert, Tim Timmons and Bill Welke.

One of the best among the best is Ironton native Gibson, who just became a crew chief for the 2022 season.

Gibson helps organize and run one of the best baseball dinners in the world, The Portsmouth Murals Dinner. This year’s event is January 25 on the campus of Shawnee State University.

It is always attended by a bevy of former major leaguers from the Portsmouth area like Don Gullett, Al Oliver, Larry Hisle, Johnny Lemaster and others. And this year’s keynote speaker is former Big Red Machinist Darrel Chaney.

I’ll be there. . .I always am because it is one of the year’s highlights.

—QUOTE: From former manager Leo ‘The Lip’ Durocher, who was suspended a year for associating with gamblers: “I’ve never questioned an umpire’s integrity. His eyesight, yes.”

—PASS THE MAYO: Was watching the Mayonnaise Bowl this week and saw that the Maryland quarterback was Taulia Tagovailoa.

There can’t be two quarterbacks named Tagovailoa who aren’t related, right? Tua Tagovailoa is the concussion-plagued quarterback for the NFL’s Miami Dolphins.

Yes, they are brothers.

Tua is a legend at Alabama and Taulia began his collegiate career at Alabama. But to get out from under big brother’s shadow, Taulia transferred to Maryland, with NFL aspirations.

“He’s my older brother and he’s in the league (NFL),” said Taulia, a red-shirt junior. “So it’s more of a thing where I feel like if he’s doing good, I know that I can do it, too. But I gotta take care of my stuff in college first.”

Taulia was just pedestrian in Maryland’s 16-12 win over North Carolina State — 19 for 37, 221 yards, one touchdown, two interceptions.

The highlight every year at the Duke’s Mayo Bowl is when the winning coach gets a large bucket of mayonnaise dumped over his body. Yech. They don’t even protect his head with lettuce leaves.

—WRIGHT ON: The Clemson basketball program has a distinct Wright State University flavor. Both head coach Brad Brownell and associate head coach Billy Donlon are former head coaches at Wright State.

Brownell is in his 13th year as Clemson coach and Donlon is in his first after coaching the University of Missouri-Kansas City for three seasons, his landing spot after Wright State let him go.

Donlon is a huge baseball fan and one of my all-time favorites in the coaching profession.

—SOCCER IT TO ME: So we all think that major league baseball salaries are obscene, right?

Pikers. MLB teams are mere pikers.

Soccer legend Cristiano Ronaldo is about to sign a contract with Al-Nassr of the Saudi Pro League. His salary? $211 million a year. Kick that one around for awhile.

—A STRETCH: Somebody mentioned on ESPN that LeBron James averages 33.7 points a game on his birthday, the most in the history of the NBA.

Now is that fair to guys like Wilt Chamberlain, Pete Maravich, Kobe Bryant, Karl Malone and a bunch of other guys whose birthdays were not during the NBA season?

—WHEN THE EAGLES FLY: With apologies to John Mellencamp, when Jalen quarterbacks the Philadelphia Eagles, ‘It Hurts So Good.”

And the Eagles have discovered the last couple of weeks that when he can’t play, it Hurts so bad.

—DIRTY WORD: The one word in the English language I despise like no other: Cancer.

OBSERVATIONS: From Lawyer to Baseball GM

By Hal McCoy

UNSOLICITED OBSERVATIONS from The Man Cave, anxiously awaiting New Year’s Eve when Ohio State destroys The Great Georgia Myth, 35-31.

—FROM LAW TO BALL: There is a Dayton native who loves baseball more than affidavits, torts, briefs and depositions.

He is a lawyer who tossed it all aside and started at the bottom of the baseball pecking order. And he is now general manager of the Seattle Mariners.

His name is Justin Hollander, a graduate of Northmont High School and The Ohio State University.

While he was practicing law in San Diego in 2008, he arranged his schedule so he could gather stats for ESPN at San Diego Padres games. The pay was enough to buy a couple bags of peanuts.

But he stayed with baseball, starting at age 28, and worked his way up, up and up. And in October, he was named Seattle’s GM, inheriting a team named the best organization in baseball with the number one minor league system by Baseball America.

The Mariners made the playoffs last season, the first time in 20 years, which made Seattle’s citizenry delirious. Hollander isn’t content with that accomplishment.

As he told Marc Katz in the Dayton Jewish Observer, “I was disappointed this year when we didn’t win the World Series. I thought we had a chance. We want to win the World Series. That absolutely is our goal next season. We’re not doing this for participation trophies.”

—FROM ISRAEL TO GABP: Alon Leichman pitched for Israel in the 2021 Olympic Games in Tokyo and now he is the new assistant pitching coach for the Cincinnati Reds. He is the first Israeli-born athlete to make it to the major leagues.

There was not a single baseball field in Israel in 1983 when his father, David, a baseball lover, cut off a slice of the wheat crop in the Kibbutz Gezer and built a baseball field. Why not? His father was in charge of constructing the kibbutz in the 1970s.

That’s where Leichman learned the game and now the 33-year-old coach will help the Reds’ staff with mechanics, pitch selection and game preparation. Perhaps he can teach them that strike one is the best pitch in their arsenal.

—PEACHY START: The inventor of basketball, James Naismith, wrote his rules on a piece of paper in 1891 and hung it on a YMCA wall. The baskets were true baskets. . .peach baskets.

Until recently, the Naismith family possessed that paper with the original rules.

James Naismith later became the first basketball coach at Kansas University and his legacy lives. The KU playing surface is Naismith Court, the street in front of the basketball venue is Naismith Drive and there is a Naismith Hall on campus.

Because of Naismith’s connection to Kansas, when the family put that paper of rules up for auction, some KU alumni banded together and bought it. . .for $4.3 million to put it where they believed it belongs.

Whomever invented baseball — Abner Doubleday, Alexander Cartwright or
Tony La Russa — would recognize today’s baseball (Until Rob Manfraud finishes his revamping). But it is pretty certain Naismith would wonder what those guys were doing on that wooden floor.

—OUT OF POSITION: From Hall of Fame baseball writer Jayson Stark’s annual Strange But True column:

In the 1990’s decade, 48 position players were used as pitchers in blowout games. A lot? Nope. Last season alone, teams used position players 132 times.

Cincinnati Reds manager David Bell did it six times, three appearances by second baseman Alejo Lopez. He pitched to a 6.75 earned run average, which just about matched the ERA of last season’s real pitchers out of the Reds’ bullpen.

Los Angeles Dodgers manager Dave Roberts used infielder Hanser Alberto 10 times in relief. And the Dodgers were 8-and-2 in those games.

And the strangest of all? On the day Los Angeles Angels pitcher Reid Detmers pitched a no-hitter against Tampa Bay, left fielder Brett Phillips came on to pitch for the Rays.

So the Angels’ Anthony Rendon decided to bat left handed, something he had never done in his previous 4,258 plate appearances. And he hit a home run. Of course he did.

—LUCAMATIC: When did the NBA begin using robots in games. Luca Doncic of the Dallas Mavericks was as robotic as it gets this week. . .60 points, 21 rebounds, 10 assists. That was in one game.

He was born in Slovenia, but obviously raised on Mars because he is out of this world.

—RE-SIGN HIM: So somebody actually did like one of the Cincinnati Reds’ free agents. Catcher Austin Romine signed a minor league deal.

With whom? Oh, the Cincinnati Reds. Never mind.

By the way, whomever came up with the name free agent needed a dictionary for Christmas. There is nothing ‘free’ about these guys signing monster contracts. Just ask the New York Mets and their $800 million investment in ‘free’ agents this off-season.

—TEN-HUT: The Military Bowl was contested between Duke and Central Florida in the Navy-Marines Memorial Stadium in Annapolis, Md.

The Military Bowl? Shouldn’t at least one team be Army, Navy, Air Force, Virginia Military or The Citadel? Or how about the Coast Guard Academy (3-7) and the Merchant Marines (6-3), two Division III schools.

OK, so the Coast Guard beat the Merchant Marines, 41-33. . .but Ohio State and Michigan could meet again, right?

—DEAD RED: ESPN’s baseball power rankings listed the Cincinnati Reds as a team unplugged. They ranked them No. 30 among 30 MLB teams. They projected their 2023 record will be 60-102 and said:

“The Reds lost 100 games last year and yet the players that they lost, led by Kyle Farmer, Mike Minor and Donovan Solano, profile as a hair better than the group of pickups, led by Kevin Newman, Nick Solak and Luke Maile.”

—SOUR GRAPES: Zion Williamson scored a career-high 43 points to lead the New Orleans Pelicans to a come-from-behind win over the Minnesota Timberwolves, 119-118.

Williamson grabbed the game by the throat, picking up all the loose change, to scored his team’s final 14 points in the last 2:44.

As teammate CJ McCullom described the team’s late game-plan: “Get the ball to Z and get the (expletive) out of the way.”

Said Minnesota’s D’Angelo Russell after Williamson shot 19 free throws, “He plays football and we play basketball. You can’t touch him. Good for him.”

Wonder if Russell wants any cheese with that whine?

OBSERVATIONS: When the Reds were ‘Schott’ from guns

By Hal McCoy

UNSOLICITED OBSERVATIONS from The Man Cave, still groaning from stuffing myself all weekend with cookies, shrimp, M&Ms (peanuts, of course), wrapped weenies, chocolate buckeyes, lasagna, whole tenderloin (no, I didn’t eat it all), twice baked potatoes, apple pie, ice cream, coffee cake. . .and it’s a good thing Nadine kept the dog food away from me.

—SCHOTT HIM DOWN: Without a doubt, the last Cincinnati Reds owner to display an affinity for winning was Marge Schott. She put her money where her mouth was and enabled her general managers to spend, when necessary.

On the other hand, she was known to squeeze a nickel until the Buffalo squealed.

In a previous Observations, I mentioned that Plant City Stadium and the complex where the Reds trained during the Schott Regime was a step below Attica Prison.

Larry Starr, one of the best athletic trainers in baseball and one of my daily tennis partners on the road, offered up what it was like for him.

“Our lovely lady owner (I refuse to say her name) cut and slashed everything I wanted in the athletic training area. She eliminated the strength training room, took away any storage, didn’t paint the walls or finished the ceiling.

“In addition, as I think you know, she did not have any hot water, except in the shower, which included the whirlpool area. So Attica was a great description.”

And it was Schott who pushed most of the team’s scouts out the back door and said, “Why do we need scouts? All they do is watch ball games.”

—QUOTE: From former Reds owner Marge Schott, showing she did know a little bit about baseball: “I don’t like the designated hitter. A guy who plays should be able to catch and hit.” (I think GM Jim Bowden fed her that line.)

—THE EAGLES SING: Have you heard the new Eagles Christmas album? And I don’t mean Don Henley’s Eagles of Hotel California and Desperado fame.

I mean the Philadelphia Eagles. For some reason, I always had a disdain for those Eagles, until this Christmas. Several members of the Eagles football team put out a Christmas album, ‘A Philly Special Christmas.’ And proceeds go to Philadelphia charities and at last count it raised $250,000.

Those Eagles still play football better than they sing, but they’ve won me over. They’ve given me a peaceful, easy feeling.

—‘SUPER BOWL,’ 1950: Speaking of the Philadelphia Eagles, they won the NFL championships in 1948 and 1949. After the 1949 season, the rival All-America Football Conference disbanded after four seasons.

The Cleveland Browns won all four AAFC titles and the NFL absorbed three AAFC teams. . .the Browns, San Francisco 49ers, the Baltimore Colts.

The NFL decided to teach the Browns a lesson and for the 1950 season opener they scheduled the Browns against the Eagles.

It could have been called the first Super Bowl. During their two championship seasons, the Eagles held their opponents to seven or fewer points in 14 of their 26 games.

A crowd of 71,237 showed up at old Philadelphia Municipal Stadium. Before that, the Eagles’ biggest crowd was 38,230 The Associated Press called the showdown, “The most talked-of game in the National Football League’s history.

Cocky Eagles coach Greasy Neale said the game was going to be high school boys against the pros.

“It was the Game of the Century,” said Eagles backup quarterback Bill Mackrides. “There was a lot of animosity. There had been a lot of talking back and forth for years. It was like the Red Sox vs. Yankees.”

Final score: Cleveland Browns 35, Philadelphia Eagles 10.

I was 10-years-old and listened to the game on Akron radio station WAKR, not realizing that I was listening to pro football history. . .I just loved Paul Brown, Otto Graham, Mac Speedie, Dante Lavelli, Marion Motley and Lou Groza.

—QUOTE: From former Cleveland Browns quarterback Otto Graham: “Do not throw in the towel. Use it for wiping the sweat off your face.” (He never threw in the towel, which is why he led the Browns to a 47-4-3 record in four All-America Conference seasons.)

—MAY(FIELD) DAY: Note to the Cleveland Browns: After you all opened your Christmas presents, did you watch the Los Angeles Rams rip apart the Denver Broncos, 51-14?

Did you notice that guy wearing No. 17 and playing quarterback for the Rams? In the first half alone he was 18 for 20 for 185 yards and two touchdowns.

His name is Baker Mayfield. You might remember him. But you have Deshaun Watson, so you don’t miss him. Do you? Just asking for a friend.

And afterwards, Denver coach Nathaniel Hackett was fired. No surprise. His team made him look like Buddy Hackett.

—QUOTE: From Los Angeles Rams quarterback Baker Mayfield, traded by the Cleveland Browns and punted to the curb by the Carolina Panthers: “Everywhere I look, someone is telling me, ‘You’re not good enough,’ or, ‘You can’t do this or that.’ You can only hear that so many times before enough is enough.”

—A UD ESCAPEE: Ever hear of Mike Dabney? He is in the Rutgers University Hall of Fame. He was on the 1976 team that made the Final Four with Indiana, Michigan and UCLA.

Like Indiana, the eventual champion, Rutgers was unbeaten entering the Final Four, but lost to Michigan. Dabney, a 6-4 guard, averaged 19 points, 4 rebounds and 3.5 assists.

Now for the rest of the story, as Dabney told it on an hour-long ESPN special on Dick Vitale.

Said Dabney, “I was all set to go to the University of Dayton. But Dick Vitale was an assistant at Rutgers and was so insistent and persistent that I went to Rutgers.”

As we all know, Vitale could sell audio to a deaf person.

UD was 14-13 that season and sure could have used Dabney.

After Rutgers, the vivacious Vitale became head coach at the University of Detroit and coach of the NBA’s Detroit Pistons before he became ESPN’s iconic college basketball analyst.

The first two times I was with Vitale I never spoke to him. I didn’t want to interrupt him. And he was worth the listen. He knows basketball like Busch knows beer.

—QUOTE: From basketball icon Dick Vitale: “Twelve for 23. . .it doesn’t take a genius to see that’s under 50 percent.” (Dickie V. knows basketball Xs and Os, so we’ll give him a pass on math.)

—FUN FACT: In fact, an amazing fact. When the Cincinnati Bengals beat the New England Patriots, 22-18, it was the first time in NFL history that a game’s score was 22-18.

When there is a score is that has never happened before It is called a scorigami. The 22-18 score was the 1,065th different score combination in NFL history,

—WHAT? NO MAIL?: Remember the slogan, “Neither rain, nor snow, nor sleet, nor hail shall keep the postmen from their appointed rounds.” Yeah, right. We received no mail delivery Friday or Saturday. . .and Sunday was Christmas. I am anxiously watching out the window for a Monday delivery. I’m laying odds of 4 to 1 on no delivery. Bad idea. It’s a postal holiday. No mail. . .again.

OBSERVATIONS: A tiny Christmas gift for Reds fans

By Hal McCoy

UNSOLICITED OBSERVATIONS from The Man Cave, hoping your Christmas stockings are filled with tidings of good joy.

SOME MOVEMENT: Cincinnati Reds general manager Nick Krall appears to be a man of his word. Before the winter meetings early this month, he said the Reds were interested in signing some stop-gap free agents to one-year contracts.

He said those players could use their year in Cincinnati to rejuvenate their careers and move to other teams.

The Reds took that first step Thursday when they signed catcher Curt Casali and first baseman/outfielder Wil Myers to one-year deals. And who spells Will with one ‘l?’

And perhaps most significantly, they rid themselves of underperforming infielder Mike Moustakas by designating him for assignment, which undoubtedly will lead to his release.

Myers agreed to a deal worth $7.5 million, with some incentives. Casali agreed to a deal worth $3.5 million with some incentives. Most of the incentives are pipe dreams.

Casali, 34, was a back-up catcher for the Reds from 2018 to 2020 and could be a valuable piece. He has a solid reputation in handling pitchers and can be a guide dog for young pitchers Hunter Greene, Nick Lodolo and Graham Ashcraft.

He split time last season with San Francisco and Seattle and hit .203 with five homers and 17 RBI in 57 games.

Myers, 32, a former star with the San Diego Padres, fell on hard times and the club refused his $20 million club option for 2023. He hit .261 with seven homers and 41 RBI in 77 games last season for the Padres.

Myers was American League Rookie of the Year in 2013, but injuries plagued him the last couple of years. The plan is for him to fill right field.

“Obviously, coming off injuries, you want to come out and re-prove yourself,” Myers told MLB.com. “I’ve had a couple of years that have been a little down, so I want to be able to come out here and give myself a good chance to come out and have a nice year. It’s a great park to hit in and I’m very excited to see what I could do there.”

Moustakas signed a four-year $64 million deal with the Reds and was a monumental bust. He spent considerable time on the injured list last season. He hit .216 with seven homers and 25 RBI in 78 games. It is a costly move for the cash-strapped Reds. They still owe him $22 million.

Those aren’t moves designed to dig the Reds out of the National League Central basement and they won’t have to hire extra help to answer phones in the ticket office. But, well. . .they did do something.

—GOOD OR DECEIVING: There is nothing like false mirrors in college basketball when it comes to glossy records.

Duquesne comes to Dayton next week to open Atlantic 10 Conference play and the Dukes bring a 9-3 record, second best in the A-10. Nifty, huh?

Well, as Lee Corso often says on ESPN’s GameDay, “Not so fast, my friend.” Duquesne has played 11 of its 12 games at home. Its one road game was a 77-52 loss at Kentucky. The Dukes have won three straight coming to Dayton — DePaul, Indiana State and Winthrop, all in Pittsburgh.

The A-10 shocker is Fordham, a team that other A-10 teams usually wipe their sneakers on. The Rams are 12-1. . .again, deceiving. They have played one quality team and lost mammothly, 74-48, at Arkansas. Their noteworthy wins, if one call call them that, are Dartmouth, Maine, Holy Cross, Harvard and at Tulane.

UD is 8-5, with losses to UNLV, Wisconsin, North Carolina State, BYU and Virginia Tech. Duquesne can claim one opponent of that calibre, Kentucky. Fordham’s pre-conference schedule is filled with pushovers.

As one A-10 observer said, “Fordham’s record and Duquesne’s record is pure, unsliced baloney.” (Hey, I love fried baloney sandwiches.)

—POLAR DEPRESSED: If ever the Cleveland Browns enjoyed an advantage, it was Saturday at FirstEnergy Field. It was not only unfit for the Chicago Bears, it was unfit for polar bears.

The opponent was not the Chicago Bears. It was the New Orleans Saints, a team that plays home games indoors at the climate-controlled SuperDome.

The bomb cyclone hit and it wasn’t Nick Chubb. It was something that had the wind chill conditions at 15 below zero. And wind gusts near 50 miles an hour swept in off Lake Erie.

New Orleans coach Dennis Allen tried to downplay it before the game by saying, “It’s going to be cold for everybody. Let’s don’t make too big a deal about it. Let’s go play a game and let’s go try to win, but yet there’s been a lot of advancement in warm-weather gear and the last thing I want is somebody out there looking like the damn Stay Puft Marshmallow Man.”

Was he describing Browns quarterback Deshaun Watson. Of course, it was the Browns who played like stationary snowmen. After grabbing a 10-0 lead, the Browns froze in their tracks and the Saints slalomed to a 17-10 win. All together now. . .”Same ol’ Browns.”

And Deshaun Watson still stinks.

A SUPER MARCH?: The Cincinnati Bengals continued their matriculation toward a date with the Super Bowl with an escape from disaster in frigid Foxboro.

They led, 22-0, at the half. Mighty Joe Burrow, the AFC’s MVP (you read it here first), was 42 for 50 for 375 with two touchdowns.

But it took a New England fumble at the Bengals’ 5-yard-line with 55 seconds left to preserve a 22-18 win, their seventh straight.

I would have given away three of my Christmas presents — a paisley tie, a fruit cake and a bottle of Old Spice — to attend New England coach Bill Belichick’s one-word answers during his post-game press conference.

—VIKING TOUR: If there is a Chosen Team in the NFL, it is the Minnesota Vikings. They beat the New York Giants on a last-second field goal, 27-24. They’ve won 12 games, 11 by one score, an NFL record.

And they are a major headache for bettors. In their 13 games, they’ve covered or beat the spread only seven times.

—UPSET CITY: Three more reasons why ya gotta love college basketball:

*Eastern Illinois was 31 1/2-point underdogs, but barged into Iowa City and beat Iowa, 92-83. EIU is the first team in more than 30 years to be more than a 30-point underdog and win. Teams more than 30-point ‘dogs were 0-588 before EIU stopped the Hawkeyes. And EIU trailed Iowa, 18-4 at the game’s beginning.

*Number 25-ranked Arizona State (11-1) was only a 2 1/2-point favorite for its visit to San Francisco. They could have been a 30-point underdog. San Francisco obliterated the Sun Devils, 97-60.

*Remember the 77-49 beatdown Virginia Tech put on Dayton in Blacksburg? Boston College was not impressed. Virginia Tech, No. 21 in the AP Poll, visited Boston and lost in overtime, 70-65. BC had lost five of its previous six games.

—MERRY CHRISTMAS: My favorite Christmas movies.

*Christmas Vacation (A laugh a minute every time I watch it. Doesn’t everybody have a Cousin Eddie?)

*Miracle on 34th Street (It’s a miracle to survive a walk down 34th street in New York )

*It’s a Wonderful Life. (I wouldn’t want to spend Christmas the way Jimmy Stewart did.)

*A Christmas Carol (To Ebenezer Scrooge, “Bah, humbug.)

*White Christmas (Just look out your window. You wanted a white Christmas, but if you go outside for more than a minute your lips will fall off.)

OBSERVATIONS: Tom Browning’s Memorable Moment

By Hal McCoy

UNSOLICITED OBSERVATIONS from The Man Cave, still reeling and stunned by the death of former Cincinnati Reds pitcher Tom Browning.

—OTIS HISTORY: Tom Seaver wasn’t the only Tom Terrific. To me, Tom Browning was Tom Terrific, in every way.

People referred to him as Mr. Perfect because he pitched the only perfect game in Cincinnati Reds history. In some ways, that’s unfair. He is known only to the casual fan for that perfect game, but he was much, much more than that.

His real nicknames, ones used by his teammates, were Otis and Puggy.

Many thoughts flashed through my cluttered mind when I heard about his passing and one really stuck after I heard it.

I asked him one day about his best baseball memories and he did not mention the perfect game nor his win in Game 3 of the 1990 World Series. “One of my best memories,” he said, “was hitting a home run off Orel Hershiser. Now that was perfect.”

Spoken like a true pitcher.

Browning grew up in Casper, Wyoming, where they can play baseball about 22 days in a year. And he pitched at LeMoyne College in Syracuse, N.Y. where more often than not they had to shovel snow off the mound.

After his junior year, he quit LeMoyne and enrolled at Tennessee Wesleyan, a small NAIA school. For some reason, the University of Kentucky stopped by for a game. Did Browning pitch? Did he ever. He beat UK and struck out 15.

Fortunately for Browning and the Cincinnati Reds, UK coach Keith Madison was a bird dog scout for the Reds. He alerted the Reds about this left handed kid at Tennessee Wesleyan.

The Reds invited him to a pre-draft workout at Riverfront Stadium. The Reds drafted him on the ninth round, the 233rd player picked. Browning asked for $5,000. The Reds signed him for $3,500.

And the rest, as they say, was perfect history.

—ONE MISS: One of the finest man I’ve ever known and one of the all-time best baseball scouts told this story on himself involving Tom Browning.

His name is Carl Loewenstine and for years he was a scout for the Los Angeles Dodgers. On the night Browning pitched his perfect game against the Dodgers, he was seated in a private box with his general manager, Jamestown (O.) native Fred Claire.

“About the seventh inning, when we still didn’t have a hit, Fred turns to me and says, ‘Did you see this guy pitch in college?’”

Said Loewenstine, an honest man, “Yes, sir. I certainly did. I marked him as ‘no prospect.’”

Loewenstine, retired after signing many major leaguers and living near Hamilton, laughed and said, “I didn’t think I would live to see the next day.”

—CASH MONEY???: Want to buy majority interest in an NBA franchise? Dig deep. . .real deep. . .deeper.

Billionaire Mat Ishbia paid $4 billion to wedge his way in and that $4 billion only got him a little more than 50% ownership of the Phoenix Suns.
Well, the sellers did toss in the WNBA’s Phoenix Mercury as part of the deal, for whatever that’s worth.

Shouldn’t $4 billion buy you downtown Phoenix? Well, at least Mesa.

Wonder if he has some loose change left in his pocket, about $1.075 billion? Forbes says that’s the estimated value of the Cincinnati Reds.

Somebody, anybody, please make an offer, one that current ownership can’t refuse. Where’s Don Vito Corleone when you need him?

—A GREEDY GUY: Sometimes just saying no is a time when you should just say yes.

Corey Youmans, the guy who caught Aaron Judge’s historic 62nd home run, put the ball up for auction and made $1.5 million.

Nice, huh? Well, before the auction he was offered $3 million and said no, believing the auction would pay more. So his greed cost him $1.5 million.

—QUOTE: From 6th century B.C. Chinese philosopher Lao-Tzu: “Loss is not as bad as wanting more.” (And ol’ Lao-Tzu never saw a baseball game.)

BLOW ME DOWN: Hurricane Ian did damage to baseball, too. The Category 4 storm heavily damaged the Tampa Bay Rays spring training complex in Port Charlotte, Fla, damages that can’t be repaired by spring training.

The Rays will split training time between the Walt Disney Complex in Lake Buena Vista and their home park in St. Petersburg, the Tropicana Mausoleum.

Too bad a hurricane didn’t damage Plant City Stadium when Cincinnati trained there so they could have fled to Sarasota sooner than they did.

The Plant City site was as austere as Attica Prison and there is no doubt the ball fields inside Attica were better than the soggy and lumpy Plant City diamonds.

STEALTHY METS: Just when I thought I was finished writing about New York Mets’ owner Steve Cohen spending money as if he was passing out Halloween candy, he did it again.

In the still of the night, when most of us were sleeping, the Mets swooped in and stole Carlos Correa away from the San Francisco Giants.

Correa agreed to a 13-year, $350 million deal with the Giants. But eight days later, when the Giants balked a bit over some perceived medical issues, the vampirish Mets stole him for 12 years at $315 million.

Correa is a shortstop, but the Mets already had their 10-year $341 million shortstop in Francisco Lindor. So the Mets are tearing a page from the New York Yankees playbook and moving Correa to third base.

The Yankees did it when they signed shortstop Alex Rodriguez when they already had shortstop Derek Jeter. So they moved A-Rod to third.

And mark this one down. Despite Cohen spending more money ($800 million. . .so far) than the gross national product of Ecuador, the Atlanta Braves or Philadelphia Phillies will win the National League Central in 2023.

—STILL AVAILABLE: Not sure what this means, other than maybe it says a lot about the make-up of last season’s Cincinnati Reds roster.

None of their free agents have been signed by other clubs. The list (and hold your applause until the end): Hunter Strickland, Mike Minor, Jeff Hoffman, Austin Romine, Donovan Solano and Justin Wilson.

OBSERVATIONS: Mets will owe tax man $86.7 million

By Hal McCoy

UNSOLICITED OBSERVATIONS from The Man Cave, thinking the Cincinnati Bengals are thanking the Cleveland Browns for the early Christmas present, a win over Baltimore. But they should really thank the Ravens for a fumble, a pass interception, a missed field goal a blocked field goal.

—A TAXING PROBLEM: This is all one needs to know to figure out why MLB is as unbalanced as the U.S. government budget.

The New York Mets will have a payroll near $336 million in 2023. That is $103 million over the luxury tax threshold, meaning that on top of paying $336 million to its players, the Mets will pay a luxury tax of $86.7 million to MLB.

That tax the Mets must pay is higher than the payrolls of 12 MLB teams, including our bewitched, bothered and bewildered Reds and their projected $73 million payroll.

And the Chicago Cubs entered the spending spree, $177 million over seven years for Atlanta free agent shortstop Dansby Swanson. Yes, the Cubs are serious again about winning.

—ZAG-NUTS: After Dayton, Wright State and Ohio State, Gonzaga is my favorite basketball team.

How can you not admire a so-called mid-major team that will play any team, any time, anywhere? Coach Mark Few would play Eskimo State on a frozen pond.

The No. 15 Zags knocked off No. 4 Alabama in Birmingham, 100-90 Saturday. Alabama had beaten three ranked teams, including two number ones.

What Gonzaga All-American Drew Timme can’t do on a basketball floor hasn’t been invented yet. He scored 29 and hooked 10 rebounds against Alabama. The last time he missed an assignment was in fifth-grade math class.

—PRIME JUNIOR: The dazzling jewelry doesn’t doesn’t fall far from the neck. . .from Daddy Prime to Prime Jr.

That would be Jackson State quarterback Shedeur Sanders, son of coach Deion ‘Prime Time’ Sanders.

Sanders coached his final game at Jackson State Saturday before moving onto Colorado. And he lost, 41-34, in overtime to North Carolina Central in the HBCU national championship game, the Cricket Celebration Bowl.

It was played in Atlanta’s Mercedes-Benz Stadium, where Ohio State and Georgia will play in the CFP semifinals. If that game is as well-played and as exciting as the HBCU game, it will be memorable.

Jackson State was down 34-27 in regulation with seven seconds left and faced fourth-and-10 at the NCC 19. Sanders threw a touchdown pass to Travis Hunter, who caught the ball with 0:00 on the clock. Then Jackson State lost in overtime when a receiver dropped a pass in the end zone.

—MORE DAD-SON: Frank Gore rushed for 16,000 yards (More than nine miles) during his 16-year NFL career, third most all-time.

But he never did what his son, Frank Gore Jr., did in the Lending Tree Bowl during Southern Mississippi’s 38-24 win over Rice.

Junior rushed for 329 yards, most ever in any NCAA bowl game. He carried 21 times, ran for touchdowns of 65 and 55 yards and even threw an 18-yard touchdown pass as dad watched from the stands.

Daddy’s best day was 212 yards for the San Francisco 49ers against Seattle.

Said Junior, whose dad came on the field after the game, “. . .I let him know that I’m the best in the family.” (Nothing like son rubbing dad’s nose in it.)

—MAC ATTACK: While needing something to do to keep me away from the Esther Price cashew bark, I decided to look up the University of Dayton’s all-time record against Mid-American Conference teams.

Why? Why not? Nadine hid the candy from me.

And I was amazed. There are eight MAC teams that have never beaten UD and the Flyers are 35-0 against them: Kent State 7-0, Ohio U. 7-0, Akron 6-0, Central Michigan 4-0, Ball State 3-0, Eastern Michigan 3-0, Western Michigan 3-0, Northern Illinois 2-0.

The Flyers used to play Miami twice a season and are 64-42 against the Redskins (They haven’t played since Miami became the RedHawks). They are 22-9 against Toledo and 9-2 against Bowling Green.

—SMITHEREENS: When UD beat Wyoming Saturday night in Chicago, the game was played in the United Center. It sits on the site where Chicago Stadium once stood.

I was there the night Donald Smith scored 52 points against Loyola of Chicago, still the UD single game record. And if they had the three-point line then he would have scored 65.

Did you know that Smith played one season in the NBA and never missed a foul shot? True. He came off the bench for the 1974-75 Philadelphia 76ers, appeared in 53 games and was 21 for 21 from the free throw line.

If he had ever missed a free throw, they probably would have stopped the game and sent him to an optometrist.

—BOWL ME OVER: The first of about four dozen Irrelevant Bowls unfolded early Friday afternoon. It wasn’t irrelevant, though, to Miami (O.) and the University of Alabama-Birmingham.

First of all, it was a nifty vacation in The Bahamas and the two teams played as if it was the CFP championship game even though there were about 250 people in the rickety wooden stands on an 85-degree day.

UAB won, 24-20, and the game ended on a Miami pass completion to the UAB 2-yard-line.

Both teams had to win their last regular season games to get the necessary six wins to be bowl eligible. Both were 6-and-6. In Miami’s final game, it trailed Ball State 17-6 in the third quarter, but won, 18-17, on a last-second touchdown pass. And the RedHawks almost did it again. . .almost.

Trent Dilfer, one of the 306 Cleveland Browns quarterbacks since 1999, observed from the sidelines because he takes over as UAB’s head coach next season. He won a Super Bowl, but of course it wasn’t with the Browns. It was in 2000 with the Baltimore Ravens, who used to be the Cleveland Browns.

—TUNE TIME: Songs I listen to when I’m down and feel melancholy and need a good cry:

American Trilogy, Elvis Presley. You Were Always on My Mind, Willie Nelson. I Won’t Do that, Meat Loaf. Lady in Red, Chris de Burgh. He Stopped Lovin’ Her Today, George Jones. Holy Mother, Eric Clapton and Luciano Pavarotti. My Way, Elvis Presley. It’s Only Make Believe, Conway Twitty. I Am, I Said, Neil Diamond. Crying, Roy Orbison. Hello, Lionel Ritchie.

OBSERVATIONS: The day my career nearly ended

By Hal McCoy

UNSOLICITED OBSERVATIONS from The Man Cave wondering how in the name of Amos Alonzo Stagg that Las Vegas can make the Cleveland Browns 2 1/2-point favorites over Baltimore Saturday, but hoping it comes true so Cleveland can help the Cincinnati Bengals. They certainly helped them last week.

—NEAR CAREER-ENDER: The scariest day of my Journalism career occurred before my career even began and nearly ended it before it started.

In 1961, Kent State basketball coach Bob Doll was 2-19. And in 1962 he was on his way to a 3-18 season.

I was sports editor of The Daily Kent Stater and wrote a column called ‘Sideline Sidelights.’ Late in that 1962 season I wrote a column saying Doll should be fired.

The paper’s editor, Tom Suchan, presented a coffee cup to writers who penned something good. I had never won when he presented one to me after that column and he said, “You finally wrote something that actually said something.”

Faint praise, huh? But I was so proud. I hadn’t even had time to fill it with coffee when I was summoned to school president George A. Bowman’s office.

In those days, there was no freedom of the press for college newspapers. So I knew this couldn’t be good.

I walked cautiously into his massive office and he looked up from behind reading glasses dangling on the tip of his nose. He was seated behind a behemoth mahogany desk in a plush maroon leather swivel chair.

He didn’t invite me to sit, made me stand as I nervously shifted feet. And then he said, “My young man. I decide who gets fired on this campus, not you. You will print a retraction or you will find your education elsewhere. Dismissed.”

What I should have said was, “I’m entitled to my opinion and if you throw me out of school you can expect a law suit.”

What I said was, “Yes, sir. Right away.”

And I wrote it the next day and said something like, “In the matter of Bob Doll’s coaching position, never mind.”

I was able to finish my Kent State education, but I never did sip coffee from that cup. And Doll was fired a couple of years later with a career 33-77 record.

—CASH FLOW: Pennies from heaven? No, not where MLB is concerned. It is millions from heaven. Where is all this cash coming from? Did the San Francisco Giants discover more gold at Sutter’s Mill?

The Giants tossed $350 million at the feet of shortstop Carlos Correa. But here’s the kicker. It is for 13 years, concluding when Correa is 41.

The most Joe DiMaggio made in one year was $100,000. He probably made more money as Mr. Coffee. . .and he had Marilyn Monroe and that had to be worth at least a million.

So far this off-season, MLB teams have committed more than $2 billion to free agents. The New York Mets lead the way with $461.7 million for six free agents, five pitchers.

Philadelphia has spent $387 million for three free agents and San Diego’s contribution is $352 million to three free agents.

And there is more to come.

—Sell, Sell Sell: There was a large billboard on I75 near Evendale that appeared just before last season began, a $4,000 endeavor bought by some fans and it read in hashtag style, “#SellTheTeamBob.”

There are no For Sale signs near second base in Great American Ball Park, but highly respected sports journalist Ken Rosenthal believes there should be.

Writing this week in The Athletic, Rosenthal said the Reds, Pirates and A’s need new ownership with some cash and some vision.

The Washington Nationals and Los Angeles Angels are listed in the classifieds and Rosenthal wrote, “With any luck, the Nationals and Angels, both currently for sale, will be bought by like-minded individuals or groups (Mets, Phillies and Padres ownerships), and the turnover will continue with the Reds, A’s and Pirates, to name three clubs that need a change.”

What Bob Castellini has done for fans recently is swing a potent ax to cut payroll in one year from $140 million to $73 million. Paul Bunyan couldn’t have done it better.

—EX-REDS REPORT: Former Reds relief pitcher Michael Lorenzen, a free agent after spending a season as a starter for the Los Angeles Angels, signed a one-year $8.5 million deal to join the Detroit Tigers rotation.

Reports indicate that Johnny Cueto is ready to sign a one-year deal to join the Toronto Blue Jays’ rotation.

Wade Miley, a pitcher the Reds let go on waivers to the Chicago Cubs, is an unsigned free agent.

Remember when he pitched a no-hitter for the Reds? The game’s start was delayed an hour-and-a-half by rain.

When it began, catcher Tucker Barnhart forgot the scouting card he always carried in his back pocket. He left it in his locker and never retrieved it. He winged it.

Outfielder Tyler Naquin admitted after the game that he played the wrong side of the outfield defensive card the entire game.

Well, so much for scouting reports.

—GWYNN AND BEAR IT: During his career, Tony Gwynn had 45 four-hit games. And only 34 times did he strike out more than once in a game.

Five-hit games? Gwynn had five, second most ever. The most? Peter Edward Rose doubled that with 10 five-hit games.

QUOTE: From Pete Rose, The Hit King: “If I had two hits, I wanted three. If I had three hits, I wanted four.” (And on 10 occasions he wanted five.)

—TECHNICALLY SPEAKING: Between eight technical fouls and a fan ejection, they even played a little basketball in Milwaukee this week.

The technicals were whistled on the Bucks and Golden State Warriors. The topper, though, was that Golden State’s Draymond Green had a fan removed, “Because the fan said some things that threatened my life.”

While a fan threatening a player’s life is unacceptable and reprehensible, maybe Green needs some ear plugs in his rabbit ears. Engaging verbally with fans is not new for him.

Just a few days before the Milwaukee incident, Green got into a verbal altercation with a fan in Dallas that resulted in a $25,000 fine for Green. The Mavericks fan later matched the fine with donations to charities.

Speaking of technical fouls and Dallas, on the same night as the Bucks-Warriors fiasco, Dallas star Luka Doncic was called for a technical. No surprise. He is Mr. Technical — 54 of ‘em in the last three seasons.

But this one? He was slapped for a ’T’ for yelling. . .not at an official or a fan, but at his own teammates, Dwight Powell, after a defensive breakdown.

He must have used a lot of naughty words.

—LOU’S A LULU: From Alan Saliwanchik, one of my best Ask Hal contributors: “Former coach Lou Holtz spoke at the Schuster Center and said, ‘My first year at South Carolina we went 0-and-11 and were not as good as our record indicated.’”

My favorite Holtz-isms are words to live by: “When all is said and done, more is said than done. You’ll never get ahead of anyone as long as you try to get even with them.”

—WHELING AND DEALING: Former Los Angeles Dodgers general manager and Jamestown, Ohio native Fred Claire relayed what former Dodgers pitcher Carl Erskine said.

Claire called this week on Erskine’s 96th birthday and Erskine said, “Betty (his wife) and I used to have matching sweaters. Now we have matching wheel chairs.”

—TIME CAPSULE: From my great Sarasota friend Tom Melzoni: “The problem with being punctual is no one is there to appreciate it.” (For some folks, time is not of the essence.)

OBSERVATIONS: How it all began

By Hal McCoy

UNSOLICITED OBSERVATIONS from The Man Cave, still laughing at what one man said at one of my speaking engagements: “Every four years I have to pretend that I like soccer.”

—HOW IT STARTED: This is my 60th year as a sports journalist and it will be 50 years covering the Cincinnati Reds when the 2023 season unfolds.

It all began my senior year at Akron East High School, a typing class that I took because it was all girls.

One day the teacher, Mrs. Rose Picciotti, approached and said, “You play on the basketball team, right? I’m the advisor for the school newspaper and we need a story on the team, but have nobody to write it? Would you?”

I told her I had never written a story for publication in my life and she said she would fix it up. So I did it and turned it in. The next day, she said, “Have you considered Journalism? This was really good. I didn’t have to do anything to it.”

I sloughed it off until I enrolled at Kent State and had to declare a major. Remembering what she said, I enrolled in the KSU School of Journalism and fell in love with writing.

The rest is personal history and Rose Picciotti went to her grave not knowing how she directed the path of one of her students. And she taught me how to type.

—SIGN HIM UP: Is Cincinnati Reds general manager Nick Krall serious about one thing he said? He said the team is interested in signing some free agents to one-year contracts as stop-gaps while the team continues its rebuild.

Then why not pursue free agent relief pitcher Craig Stammen? While Stammen prefers to stay with San Diego, the Padres have not re-signed him.

The native of North Star, a graduate of Versailles High School and a University of Dayton product, grew up a mammoth Reds fan and has expressed many times his desire to pitch for the Reds.

He is 38 and wants to pitch one more season. Why not the Reds, where he would be invaluable as a veteran presence in the team’s gosh-awful bullpen?

Stammen was limited to 33 appearances last season due to injury, but in 2021 he was 6-3 with a 3.06 earned run average over 67 appearances.

And he only made $4 million for each of the last three seasons.

It probably won’t happen because the next time the Reds take my advice will be the first time.

—QUOTE: From Satchel Paige on his pitching philosophy: “Just take the ball and throw it where you want to. Throw strikes. Home plate don’t move.” (Stammen could do that for the Reds.)

—CATCH YA LATER: It was a catcher-go-round in a trade this week involving Oakland, Atlanta and Milwaukee. All three major league players involved are catchers.

Most noteworthy is that Wright State University and Centerville product Sean Murphy was emancipated from Oakland. He is moving his Gold Glove gear to Atlanta.

As part of the three-way deal, Atlanta sent catcher Will Contreras to Milwaukee and Atlanta sent catcher Manny Pina to Oakland.

The Athletics, in the process of a teardown much like the Cincinnati Reds, also received a fist full of prospects.

When the A’s made it known Murphy was available teams lined up to make offers: Cleveland, Boston, Tampa Bay, Arizona, Minnesota and Atlanta

When Murphy was traded, the catcher dominoes quickly toppled. Minnesota signed Houston free agent catcher Christian Vazquez to a three-year $30 million deal. And Minnesota signed Tampa Bay free agent catcher Mike Zunino to a one-year $6 million contract.

The Reds were not in that group, although Murphy would make a good fit. He is only 28, entering his prime, made only $725,000 last season and is entering his first year of salary arbitration eligibility.

Cincinnati could have moved Tyler Stephenson to first base and Joey Votto to designated hitter. And Murphy would fit in the Reds’ rebuild.

—RIGHT RESPONSE: In these days of pampered and ego-driven college athletes, it was refreshing what happened over the weekend with the University of Illinois basketball team.

After the Illini dropped a stink bomb in the arena, losing to Penn State, 74-59, coach Brad Underwood embarked on a post-game rant to the media.

He was asked about the leadership of one of his players, Terrence Shannon, Jr., and Underwood made a fart noise with his lips and said, “That’s what I think about his leadership.”

Did Shannon pout or shoot back or enter the transfer portal? Nope. He tweeted: “We got the best coach in the country, remember that. He’s going to get the best out of his players at all times.”

Now there is a mature young man. . .more mature than his coach.

—VEGAS KNOWS: Nearly all the TV talking heads were agape and aghast when Las Vegas installed the Detroit Lions (5-7) as 1 1/2-point favorites over the Minnesota Vikings (10-2).

They said Vegas was crazy on this one and picked the Vikings to win. Final score: Detroit 34, Minnesota 23. Hey, Vegas knows.

Despite winning 10 of 13 games, the Vikings have been outscored 313-312, the first team in NFL history to be outscored in 13 games when it has 10 wins.

—QUOTE: From former college and NFL coach Lou Holtz: “The man who complains about the way the ball bounces is likely the one who dropped it.” (The ball is bouncing Detroit’s way these days and nobody is dropping it.)

——FOURTH AND NOWHERE: Reason number 594 why it is so frustrating rooting for the Cleveland Browns.

During Sunday’s 23-10 loss to the Cincinnati Bengals, the Browns took their first possession quickly down the field until it was third-and-one at Cincinnati’s 25.

Kareem Hunt tried the middle. No gain. Fourth-and-one. Quarterback Jacoby Brissett replaced Deshawn Watson. A sneak? No, he rolled right and overthrew Donovan Peoples-Jones in the end zone.

Meanwhile, running back Nick Chubb, who gains two yards when he falls down, was sitting on the bench, helmeted head bowed as he twiddled his thumbs.

Coach Kevin Stefanski’s play-calling continues to look as if it comes out of a Grimm’s Fairy Tales book.

—THE MOUNT: If you were a football star, would you want to play for a school named Wartburg? What a name.

Wartburg, though, gave Mount Union a mighty scare over the weekend as Mount Union seeks another of its full boat of NCAA Division III championship. And it doesn’t have to be Ohio State-Georgia to provide football thrills.

With 4 1/2 minutes left. Mount Union’s clever quarterback, Braxton Plunk, took his team 83 yards for a touchdown. Mount Union 28, Wartburg 24. Game over? Nope.

Wartburg completed a 58-yard touchdown pass with 3:06 left for a 31-28 lead. Game over? Nope.

Mount Union’s Plunk completed a long fourth-and-9 pass to set up a short touchdown with 31 seconds left. Mount Union 34, Wartburg 31. Game over? Yes. . .finally. And the Purple Raiders advanced to the championship game.

—CUP RUNNETH OVER: The machinations of World Cup Soccer mystifies me. It was heart-warming to see a tiny nation like Croatia make the semifinals.

In their first five games, the Croatians won one match in regulation. They had two draws (ties) in the group stage and won both knockout matches on penalty kicks.

And why do they call them penalty kicks? There is no penalty involved Wouldn’t it be more exciting to play a sudden death overtime?

It even happened in the NCAA finals. Syracuse won its first national soccer title by tying Indiana, 2-2. And, of course, they won it on a penalty kick.

—OH, JOHNNY: For those of us old geezers, one of the best segments on The Johnny Carson show was when he portrayed the Magnificent Carnac.

While wearing a turban and a cape, the Magnificent Carnac (Carson) was provided the answer and he provided the question.

And my all-time favorite:

Answer: El Paso.

Carnac’s question: “What does a Mexican quarterback do when he can’t el runno or el punto?”

OBSERVATIONS: Why did the Reds trade Farmer?

By Hal McCoy

UNSOLICITED OBSERVATIONS from The Man Cave wondering why I waste a valuable three hours watching the Cleveland Browns and contemplating tossing my Browns hoodie and Brown hat into the fireplace. It would be the only fire the Browns show.

—BOW TO BOWDEN: It isn’t often I agree with Jim Bowden, especially when he was general manager of the Cincinnati Reds and broadcaster Marty Brennaman referred to him as ‘Ol Leatherpants.’

Bowden now writes for The Athletic and he graded every team’s winter meetings performance.

Of the Reds, he wrote: “One move I didn’t like was trading Kyle Farmer to the Twins. I thought he was an important veteran presence who would help lead and develop their young players.”

To that, I agree wholeheartedly.

Of course, though, I had to disagree with something he did. He gave the Reds a ‘C’ for their winter meetings performance.

There was more than $2 billion spent on free agents by MLB teams. The Reds spent $1.175 million on a one-year deal for a catcher named Luke Maile.

Yes, the Reds are in full retreat into their rebuild plan and signing high-ticket free agents isn’t on the blueprint. But giving them a ‘C’ for what they didn’t do is highly questionable.

—QUOTE: From former player and manager Casey Stengel, who studied to be a dentist: “I’m thankful I had baseball knuckles and couldn’t become a dentist. I got $2,100

a year when I started in baseball and I chased the balls Babe Ruth hit.” (Is that true Stengalese, or what?)

—BIG BROWNOUT: The Cleveland Browns are getting what they deserve. Quarterback Jacoby Brissett led them to a 32-14 beatdown of the Cincinnati Bengals on Halloween Night. But the Browns wouldn’t let him spook the Bengals Sunday.

He put on a uniform for no apparent reason Sunday and watched another underwhelming performance by quarterback Deshaun Watson.

Watson is a guy the Browns never should have traded for, let along sign him to a $250 million contract. One charge of sexual assault is one too many, but more than two dozen is an awful habit.

He has played two games and led the Browns to one touchdown. One. On Sunday the Browns were in Bengals territory time and time again, but Deshaun took them nowhere. His mechanics look like the Tinman.

The Browns lost (or the Bengals won), 23-10, in a much-interrupted game because the officials played drop-the-hankie every other play.

And was anybody assigned to block Bengals’ defensive lineman D.J. Reader? He was in Cleveland’s backfield so often he should have been wearing a white jersey.

When he wasn’t standing over Watson after knocking him down, he was stopping Browns’ star running back Nick Chubb at the line of scrimmage.

—QUOTE: “From Scottish actor Colin Mochrie: This just in: Beverly Hills 90210, Cleveland Browns 3.” (So they even know how bad the Browns are in Glasgow?)

—TALL TALE: From what I understand, it went down something like this:

Mild-mannered Baker Mayfield boarded a plane in Charlotte and flew to Los Angeles. Upon landing, he fetched his back pack from the overhead bin and headed for an LAX bathroom.

He pulled his Superman cape out of the back pack and put it on. He grabbed an Uber and thumbed quickly through the Los Angeles Rams playbook on his iPad.

Then he took the field, knowing none of his new teammates, and with two minutes left, he directed the Rams 98 yards to a game-winning touchdown pass with 10 seconds left. Rams 17, Las Vegas Raiders 16.

Isn’t that always the way it works in Hollywood? Mayfield became the first quarterback to cover 98 yards in less than two minutes to a game-winning touchdown in 45 years.

That’s what the Raiders get for tugging on Superman’s cape.

—QUOTE: From Superman, who may or may not have been talking about Baker Mayfield: “I believe in second chances, I believe in redemption, but, mostly, I believe in my friends.”

—WRONG POSE: The Heisman Trophy has a running back giving a stiff arm on top

— of the award. What a misnomer. It should be a quarterback with his arm cocked ready to pass.

Why? Because the Heisman is pretty much a quarterback award. Quarterbacks have won 11 of the last 13 and all four finalists this year are quarterbacks.

An outlier was 2020 winner DeVonta Smith, a wide receiver at Alabama.

—QUOTE: From Ohio State’s Archie Griffin, not only the rare running back winner, but the only two-time winner: “My name is not only Archie Griffin, it’s two-time Heisman trophy winner Archie Griffin. Once you win the award it’s with you for the rest of your life. It changed my life.”

—WHAT’S THE WORD?: Ran across this score listed in football results: Incarnate Word 66, Sacramento State 63. That was a mistake right? The score should have been listed in the basketball results, right?

Wrong. It was a quarterfinals football game in the NCAA FCS playoffs. The 129 points are the most ever scored by two teams in an FCS playoff game.

Never heard of the University of Incarnate Word until the last couple of years. It is a Catholic school in San Antonio, Tex. In 2004, the school changed its nickname from Crusaders to Cardinals.

The word incarnate means a deity or spirit embodied in human flesh. You’re welcome.

—ZION THE LION: The NBA’s Phoenix Suns got their gym shorts in a twist last week when Zion Williamson of the New Orleans Pelicans performed an acrobatic windmill thunder dunk.

Why? Because he did it with the Pelicans up by nine with seven seconds left. Then he posed and flexed and Phoenix players tried to get at him.

Said Williamson, “That was out of character for me. But you gotta understand. They sent my teammates home last year. I got a little carried away.”

Phoenix knocked New Orleans out of the playoffs last year but Williamson was injured and didn’t play.

It is amazing that the Suns took umbrage. Isn’t the NBA all about posturing slam dunks and three-pointers?

—SWAC SWAGGER: What do Grambling State, Prairie View A&M and Texas Southern have in common? Yes, they are all members of the Southwestern Athletic Conference (SWAC), the most prestigious of the HBCU conferences.

But, even better, they all own victories over Power Five basketball team this year and Grambling State owns two — Colorado and Vanderbilt. Prairie View beat Washington by 11 and Texas Southern beat Arizona State.

Texas Southern appeared last season in the 
First Four at UD Arena and beat Texas A&M-Corpus Christie, 76-67. Then they played eventual NCAA champion Kansas and lost, 83-56.

The SWAC’s rising success is a by-product of the transfer portal, one of the few positive things about the controversial transfer rule.