Category: Observations

By Hal McCoy

UNSOLICITED OBSERVATIONS from The Man Cave, reading an anthology of baseball columns written by Damon Runyon, which ran on forever because he writes about the game, the weather, the celebrities in the stands, gamblers, descriptions of the ball parks, what the guys in the press box were saying, what the vendors were saying and the epithets spewed by the fans.

—CALL TO ARMS: It is no inhouse secret that the
Cincinnati Reds roster contains more shortstops than good starting pitchers these days. It seems that a Reds starter can be holding the baseball and the hitter will still bash a double off the right field wall.

It remains to be seen if the Reds go on a search at the trade deadline for a starting pitcher. . .or two. A strong arm dangling from the shoulder will do and it can even have an ‘I Love Mom’ tattoo on the biceps.

The staff has been ravaged by injuries and the team has used 11 different arms to start games, with little success.

Starters have won only 21 games. And they’ve pitched only 385 innings out of a possible 681 1/3. Reds pitchers have given up 410 runs and only the Colorado Rockies have handed over more in the National League.

Check the want ads and you might see: “Wanted. Starting pitchers. Prefer experienced arms. Call 1-800-CAN TOSS.

—SOMETIMES TIME FLIES: Rob Manfraud, the Big Boss of Baseball, probably was grinding his molars whe he saw the time of games during the Reds-Braves three game series.

They were 3:13, 3:09 and 3:28. Manfraud, the speed freak, prefers 2:13, 2:09 and 2:28. But seldom has there been more baseball action during those 9 hours and 56 minutes. Nor have I heard a peep from anybody saying, “Damn, those games were too long.”

The two teams played 53 half-innings and in the entire series there were only seven 1-2-3 half innings.

—BATTING FOR WHO?: There was an eye-popping move by Reds manager David Bell during Sunday’s game against the Atlanta Braves. With lefthander A.J Minter coming into the game, Bell pinch-hit for possible Hall of Famer Joey Votto, sending Jonathan India to bat for him.

It was only the second time Votto has been pinch-hit for and the last time was when he was in a hitting funk. It was like pinch-hitting Denis Menke for Joe Morgan. And India struck out.

How did Votto take it? Full support. While India batted, Votto stood where India always stands in the dugout during games, on a top step, watching intently and said, “I hoped he did well.”.

Afterward, India told The Athletic, “He’s just being a really good teammate and I apppreciate that because that’s what I strive to do every day.”

Still. . .pinch-hit for Votto?

—SIX BLOWN CALLS: It is approximately halfway through the baseball season and I’m not afraid, although red-faced, to reveal that my pre-season predictions are as accurate as those who thought the world was flat.

My predictions coudn’t be more flat. Not one of the six teams I predicted to win their divisions is in first place and some are so far away from first place they can’t see it with Galileo’s telescope.

As of last weekend, here is where I stand (or fell):

My predictions to win the divisions and where they stand: National League East — New York Mets (Fourth place, 15 games behind Atlanta.) National League Central — St. Louis Cardinals (Last place, 11 games behind Cincinnati.) National League West — San Diego Padres (Fourth place, 6 1/2 games behind Arizona).

American League East — Toronto (Fourth place, 10 games behind Tampa Bay.)

American League Central — Cleveland Guardians (Second place, two games behind Minnesota.)

American League West — Houston Astros (Second place, 5 1/2 games behin Texas.)

Add them up (blush, blush) and my teams are a combined 50 games out of first place. And if any of you used car payments and used my picks to wager bets, well, Lord, I apologize and please be with the starving pygmies in New Guinea. Amen.

—PITCH AND PUTT: Keegan Bradley won the Traveler’s Championship last weekend on the TPC River Highlands course in Cromwell, Connecticut with a 23-under par on the par-70 course.

Twnety-three under! Technoloy on golf clubs and golf balls have turned many of the PGA tournament courses into Putt-Putts (I could never get through the windmill).

It is routine for them to drive par-four greens and reach par-fives in two, with the second shot hit with a wedge.

Many of these courses need to be lengthened, especially the par fours and they need to reduce greens to the size of Archie Bunker’s front yard.

Bristh solider Oliver Cromwell probably could have shot par on the Cromwell course using his sword scabbard.

—QUOTE: From comedian/golf lover Bob Hope: “I went to play golf and tried to shoot my age, but I shot my weight instead.”

—RUN, RUN, RUN: When the hyper-aggressive Chris Sabo ran the bases for the Reds, the boys in the press box always said, “Sabo runs until he is out.”

With the ultra-aggressive 2023 Reds, the mantra is, “Run until you score.”

—TURNABOUT IS FAIR PLAY: Another reason why baseball is the greatest game on earth. . .and I don’t care what Canadians say about curling.

One day after the Los Angeles Angels beat the Colorado Rockies, 25-1, the Rockies won, 4-3.

And one day after LSU gave up the most runs in College World Series history, a 24-4 loss to Florida, the Bayou Bengals came back the next day and obliterated the Gators, 18-4, to win the national title.

—QUOTE: From my all-time favorite sports writer, Jim Murray, with Rick Reilly a close second: “I like to look down on a field of green and white, a summertime land of Oz, a place to dream. I’ve never been unhappy in a ball park.” (My thoughts exactly. A baseball press box to me is home-sweet-home.)

 

By Hal McCoy

UNSOLICITED OBSERVATIONS from The Man Cave and a warning to the Reds, “Don’t pay much attention to the Milwaukee Brewers, but watch out for the onrushing Chicago Cubs.

—ONE IN A MILLION: Never in 50 years of chronically the Cincinnati Reds have I written about anything like Friday night in Great American Ball Park, a baseball game For the Ages.

While I’ve written more than 25,000 baseball stories, nothing approaches the Reds’ 11-10 win over the Atlanta Braves.

Maybe Game 6 of the 1975 World Series. Close, but no.

Maybe Tom Browning’s perfect game. Close, but no.

Maybe Pete Rose’s 4,192nd hit. Close, but no.

How many times does a team give up five runs in the first inning and win? Hardly ever.

How many times does a teams come back from a 5-0 sinkhole to tie the game, then see the other team score two the next inning to take a 7-5 lead and still win? Not often.

How often do you see the other team hit five home runs, including three in one inning, and the other team still wins? Not often.

How often do you see a team get outhit, 16-9, and still win? Not often.

How many times do you see a 39-year player miss 10 months and came back to play little more than a week and hit two home runs, as Joey Votto did? Not often.

How many times have you seen a 21-year-old rookie with little more than two weeks of major league experience hit for the cycle, as Elly De La Cruz did? Not ever.

It seems as if the 2023 Rallying, Relentless, Raucous, Runnin,’ Rock & Rolling Reds are a Team of Destiny.

And De La Cruz? He is making major league baseball child’s play. When they put that furry cape on him after home runs, he first has to take off his Superman’s cape.

—THANKS, COMMISH: The Cincinnati Reds owe Rob Manfraud, The Big Boss of Baseball, a gold-engraved thank you note, a box of Esther Price chocolates and a bouquet of two dozen roses — although he probably doesn’t like to think about the word Rose.

Anyway, the Reds are thriving under this season’s New Rules Baseball, as coined by Hall of Fame writer Jayson Stark. They’ve become the Runnin’ Reds, thanks to the king-sized pillows they are using for bases, the two-engagement rule on pitcher’s making pick-off throws and the clock that makes some pitchers rush their deliveries.

Last year the Reds slogged around the bases, station-to-station and were 28th in MLB in stolen bases, only 45 with 20 caught stealings.

So far this year, they’ve already stolen 83, second most in the majors, and have been caught 21 times. And there is no one player dominating the theft department. The Reds have five players in the top 90th percentile in speed.

No longer do they plod around the bases like tired oxen. They are near the top in going from first to home, from first to third and from second to home. In 66 tries, the Reds have scored from second base on singles 65 times.
Manfraud’s banning of the shift has helped the Reds, too, with their penchant for hitting singles and doubles and hitting the opposite way.

With their speed and their belligerent aggressiveness, the Reds force the defense to make plays, and make them post haste

General manager NIck Krall deserves plaudits for building a speed-oriented team through the draft and trades.

—QUOTE: From Hall of Fame base-stealer Lou Brock: “I don’t steal bases because I have to, I steal bases because I want to.” (The Reds, though, have to steal bases, or at least try.)

—START ‘EM UP: Now that the Reds’ 12-game streak is over, it is time to address the five elephants in the room. . .the starting pitchers.

With what the starting staff has done, or not done, it is a modern mircale that the Reds were able to win three in a row, let alone 12.

The starting staff is tattered and torn like a flag in a hurricane. Hunter Greene, Nick Lodolo, Ben Lively and Connor Overton are on the injured list. And even when they are healthy and pitch, for the most part it is bombs bursting in air.

With the way manager David Bell has had to use his bullpen day after day after day, by August most of them won’t be able to reach for the deodorant on their locker shelves.

—TWENTY-FIVE SKIDOO: Joe Garagiola’s book title, ‘Baseball Is A Funny Game,’ is one of the most apropos baseball book titles ever.

Did you see this score: Los Angeles Angels 25, Colorado Rockies 1?

Just before heading to Denver, the Angels were shut out in back-to-back games by the Los Angeles Dodgers. Of course, the Rockies are not the Dodgers, but 25 runs?

The Angels scored 13 in one inning. Remember former Cincinnati Reds pitcher Chase Anderson? He gave up three home runs on three pitches, back-to-back-to-back by Mike
Trout, former Red Brandon Drury and Matt Thaiss.

—QUOTE: From Annie Savoy in the movie Bull Durham: “There are 108 beads in a Catholic Rosary. And there are 108 stitches in a baseball. When I learned that, I gave Jesus a chance.” (The Rockies didn’t need baseballs, they needed Rosary beads.)

SOME SMACK TALK: Kansas City Chiefs wide receiver Travis Kelce took umbrage at something Cincinnati Bengals wide receiver Ja’Marr Chase said on a recent podcast.

While discussing quarterbacks, Chase was supporting his own, Joe Burrow, and said, “Pat who?”

Said Kelce, “Shoutout to Ja’Marr Chase for holding it down for his QB, but don’t you ever disrespect Pat Mahomes. If you wanna talk your s—, talk your s—, pimp. Just better back it up.”

Hmmm. I’d say Joe Burrow more than backs it up. It’s defensive backs he backs up. And the Bengals have won three of the last four Burrow-Mahomes matchups.

—QUOTE: From Greek philosopher Epictetus: “We have two ears and one mouth so that we can listen twice as much as we speak.” (Perhaps Ja’Marr Chase and Travis Kelce both might listen more and speak less.)

—SOUND ADVICE: Words to live by (and I try) from my great friend Tom Melzoni in Sarasota: “Life is too short to waste time on people who don’t lift you up, or don’t inspire you — they’ll eventually drain you.” (Just remember, life has an expiration date, but it is not printed on your body.)

By Hal McCoy

UNSOLICITED OBSERVATIONS from The Man Cave wondering if it is time to order playoff tickets. . .and I don’t mean in Tampa or Arizona or Houston.

—THE REAL REDS: Are the Cincinnati Reds for real? It certainly isn’t Memorex because who wants to memorize last season’s 100-loss sleepwalk.

The Reds are 2 1/2 games out of first place in the disgustingly awful National League Central. Pittsburgh in first place? C’mon.

Even though they are two games under .500, over the last couple of weeks they have played as good as any MLB team. And with the influx of young talent like pitcher Andrew Abbott and infielders Matt McLain and Elly De La Cruz (and don’t forget rookie Spencer Steer), the Reds have become a must-see show.

De La Cruz’s bombastic debut has brought him national attention, which has brought national attention to the Reds, winners of 13 one-run games and 22 come-from-behind wins.

Everybody shall soon find out. Dead ahead are series against the Houston Astros, Atlanta Braves, Baltimore Orioles and San Diego Padres.

If they aren’t buried alive by then, they still have seven games againsst the bad Washington Nationals, nine against the dreadful St. Louis Cardinals, eight against the so-so Chicago Cubs and three against the not-so-good Detroit Tigers.

For sure, Fangraphs senses something is afoot. Little mor than a week ago, it gave the Reds a 4.9% chance of making the playoffs. As of Monday it was 27.9%.

So are the Reds ready to cross the Rubicon and not look back? Maybe. Will the pressure get to them? Probably not. They are too young to realize that people say a collapse is evident. They are just having fun and feeling no pain.

De La Cruz, at 21 is probably too naive to realize the probable absurdity of what he said when he uttered, “This whole team has some type of vibe, and a really positive vibe, too. It’s kind of like vibes of going to the World Series.”

De La Cruz has probably never seen a World Series, certainly not in person, but the feeling is that he isn’t the only member of the Reds that feels that.

—OLIVER’S TWIST: One of my favorite person is former MLB star Al Oliver, who belongs in the Hall of Fame like ice cream belongs on apple pie.

Hall of Fame baseball writer Tim Kirkjian recalls running into Oliver before the 1982 All-Star game in Montreal.

“How are you doing, Al,” asked Kirkjian.

“I had 75 line drives caught in the first half of the season,” said Oliver.

One could hang laundry on the line drives Oliver hit his entire career. The man has 2,743 hits, a career batting average of .303 and won the American League batting title with Texas in 1981 (.331). And he still needs a ticket to get into Cooperstown. What a shame.

—QUOTE: From Al Oliver, talking about his Pittsburgh Pirates teammate Willie Stargell: “If Willie Stargell asked us to jump off the Fort Pitt Bridge, we’d ask him what kind of dive he wanted. That’s how much respect we have for the man.” (And Stargell respected Oliver just as much.)

—PING OR THWACK?: When solid contact is made with an aluminum bat, it makes a loud, ugly ping, not like the pleasant thwack of wood on a baseball.

During an NCAA tournament game over the weekend, Wake Forest hit nine home runs during a 22-5 win over Alabama. Is that Wake Forest or Rake Forest?

At last report, the Alabama catcher’s ears were stilll ringing.

—MEN OF MOELLER: Was privileged last week to watch Cincinnati Moeller win its ninth state high school baseball championship at Canal Park in Akron.

The Mighty Men of Moeller can play, they can really play. Ten players have committed to play Division I college baseball and a couple others are head to Division III.

Cincinnati Elder still holds the record for most state titles (12) and missed out on a chance for a 13th when the Panthers lost to Moeller in the tournament, 7-6.

Moeller finished the season 31-3 and one of those losses was a one-run defeat to Elder. But Moeller won three of four meetings with Elder.

—SHORT HOPS:

***Do you think they are already engraving a plaque in Cooperstown for Elly De La Cruise Control?

***I can’t get used to hearing or reading, “Quarterback Aaron Rodgers of the New York Jets.”

***Remember when the Cincinnati Reds took a chance on Josh Hamilton after he recovered from drug addiction? I’ll never forget the 28 first-round home runs he hit in the 2008 All-Star Home Run Derby in Yankee Stadium, including 13 in a row. And he lost to Justin Morneau.

***Timing, indeed, is everything. Relief pitcher Ian Gibaut always seems to be pitching when the Reds score winning runs. His record is 6-1, three wins better than any Reds starter. Ben Lively is 3-4 and Graham Ashcraft is 3-5.

***Cincinnati’s rotation was supposed to be its strength, but it is 29th out of 30 MLB teams with a 5.95 earned run average, the result of Graham Ashcraft’s meltdown, Hunter Greene’s struggles and the injury to Nick Lodolo.

***Nadine always shakes her head when I tell her, “The worst team in baseball can beat the best team in baseball in any
game.” Just ask the Milwaukee Brewers. The Oakland Athletics, 14-50 when they hit Beertown, became the Ogre Athletics by sweeping three games, knocking the Brewers out of first place. And they are on a seven-game winning streak.

***Shouldn’t Elly De La Cruz and Spencer Steer play for the Minnesota Twine? They both have twin brothers.

***Philadelphia’s J.T. Realmuto hit for the cycle Monday night, the first Phillies batter to collect a single, double, triple and home run in a game since 2004 when Reds manager David Bell did it. Yes, Bell could play.

***Several Cincinnati Bengals took batting practice before a Reds game on the last homestand and quarterback Joe Burrow hit four home runs. Sign him, Reds. You need a power hitter with a strong arm.

***Wonder if teams wearing black or dark blue pants thought about this? Isn’t a white baseball coming out of a pitcher’s black or dark blue pants easy to see? A white baseball coming out a pitcher’s white pants has to be more difficult to see.

—THE OLDER I GET: My favorite line, of many good ones, from Alan Jackson’s song, ‘The Older I Get.’

“And the older I get, the more thankful I feel, for the life I’ve had and all the life I’m living still.”

By Hal McCoy

UNSOLICITED OBSERVATIONS from the Man Cave after two bowls of my favorite cereal, Frosted Flakes, which I have to share with my canine pals, Paige, Quinn and Parker, because they love Frosted Flakes as much as a do (without the bananas).

—IT’S TIME FOR ELLY: It would be easier to twist a Rubik’s Cube into its correct alignment than to solve the Elly De La Cruz mystery and why it took so long.

Finally, the Cincinnati Reds called him up today.

Why in the name of Jimmy Buffetr was De La Cruz Wasting Away in Louisville when he should have been wearing a Cincinnati Reds uniform a month ago?

The bandwagon to bring up De La Cruz was stuffed like a New York subway at 5 o’clock. I’m was not only on that bandwagon, but I wanted in the driver’s seat.

The only people who stood on the curb for so long appear to be in the Reds front office.

During an interview this week with super sports talk show host Alan Cutler on Lexington’s ESPN Sports Radio (1300), he brought up Eric Davis as a comparison to De La Cruz.

Excellent comparison. A knee-high fastball on the outside corner.

In my 50 years of covering baseball, Davis had the most all-around talent I ever saw — power, hit-for-average, speed, arm, defense, everything that makes up the total package of a baseball player. If he hadn’t insisted on running into walls and diving in pursuit of hard-hit baseballs, Davis would be enshrined in Cooperstown.

De La Cruz, only 21, is stuffed with the same attributes.
His numbers are eye-popping and vest-popping. His slash line through 38 gaems was .298/.398/.633. In 186 plate appearances, he had 11 doubles, three triples and 12 home runs.

Some of the home runs he has hit would land in a Kentucky cow pasture if he hit them in Great American Smallpark. The ball comes off his quick bat as if lauched by nuclear fission.

He has 11 stolen bases and runs the bases like Billy Hamilton, but unlike Hamilton, he knows how to get on base.

Defense? No problem. And his arm rivals his bat velocity.

Some folks wonder where he will play with the Reds. Hey, anywhere. The Reds lack power and what an infusion De La Cruz should make. And as a switch-hitter, he won’t have to be platooned the way manager David Bell likes to operate.

He played shortstop and first base at Louisville. With the way rookie Matt McLain is playing at shortstop, it would make zero sense to move him.

How about third base? With his arm, third base is a good location for De La Cruz. Yes, Nick Senzel is playing knock down defense at third base, but with all the young talent swimming in the system, his days probably are in the low numbers with the Reds.

McLain is an excellent example of the Reds calling up a playe who was knocking them stiff in the minors.

If this is a true total rebuild for the Reds, and it appears that it is, there isn’t a bigger or better building block in the system than the dynamic Dominican.

—QUOTE: From former Reds/Detroit Tigers manager Sparky Anderson, master of the overstatement: “Chris Pittaro is the best rookie I’ve had in 15 years.” (Pittaro playes 53 games in three major league seasons and batted .221 with no homers and seven RBI. (A slight swing-and-a-miss, Sparky.)

—JUST SAYIN’: Before the four-game series against the Milwaukee Brewers, during the first 46 games of the season the Cincinnati Reds played the most games against teams with under .500 records than any other MLB team.

On the flip side, the Reds have won more games than any other team when their starting pitcher leaves the game and the Reds are behind.

—QUOTE: From Hall of Fame outfielder and quotemaster Reggie Jackson: “I was once reminded that when we lose and I strike out, more than a billion people in China don’t care.” (But they sure cared in New York, right Reggie?)

—HE MISSED FOUR: In 1973, former National Leauge President Ford C. Frick, made a list of 10 baseball records he thought never would be broken. He missed on:

***Walter Johnson’s 3,508 career strikeouts. (He only missed by 2,206 strikeouts. Nolan Ryan struck out 5,715.

***Lou Gehrig’s 2,130 consecutive games played. (Cal Ripken played 2,632.)

***Ty Cobb’s 4,191 career hits. (Pete Rose collected 4,256 hits.)

***Babe Ruth drawing 2,056 career walks. (Barry Bonds was walked 2,558 times.

Well, six out of ten ain’t bad. But it ain’t too good, either.

And the ones he got right, so far: Cy Young’s 511 career victories (safe), Charles Radbournes’ 60 vcitories in one season (safe), Lou Gehrig’s 100 or more RBI in 13 straight seasons (safe), Joe DiMaggio’s 56-game hitting streak (maybe), Don Larsen’s perfect game in a World Series (maybe).

***And I will add to the list of records that won’t ever be broken: Nolan Ryan’s seven no-hitters, Rickey Henderson’s 1,406 career stolen bases, Nolan Ryan’s 2,795 career walks.

—QUOTE: From Olympic swimmer Mark Spitz, winner of seven gold medals in the 1972 Olympics: “Life is true to form, records are meant to be broken.” (Some are broken, some are shattered.)

—DREAM THE IMPOSSIBLE: No MLB player has hit .400 for a season since Ted Williams hit .406 in 1941, 82 years ago. Many have tried, all have failed.

So much is beng made of Miami’s Luis Arraez and his .399 batting average as of Sunday. Even that is nothing to make one rush to Las Vegas and wager that he will hit .400.

His average after 61 games is glossy, for sure, but since Williams hit .406 there have been eight players (Williams twice) who were hitting above .400 after 61 games.

They are Chipper Jones (.418 in 2008), Larry Walker (.414 in 1997), Paul O’Neill (.411 in 1994), Rod Carew (.411 in 1983), Stan Musial (,408 in 1948), Ted Williams (..408 in 1948), Tony Gwynn (.405 in 1997), Ted Williams (..403 in 1948).

Only Williams stayed above .400 the entire season. Like Arraez, Roberto Alomar was hitting .399 after 61 games.

Arraez could become the first player in MLB hlstory to win the batting title in the American League and National League in consecutive seasons. He won it in the AL last season with a .312 for the Minnesota Twins. And he has a big lead in the NL this season with the Marlins.

He might do that. . .but he ain’t gonna hit .400, book it.

—QUOTE: From Ted Williams, the greatest hitter to ever circle a basepath: “All managers are losers. They are the most expendable pieces of furniture on earth.” (The Splendid Splinter should know. While he was an unbelievable hitter, he was ordinary as the manager of fhe old Washington Senators. In four years, he was 273-364 with two sixth places, one fifth and one fourth. And he could never understand why his players couldn’t hit like him.)

—SENILITY SETS IN: After Reds pitcher Andrew Abbott made his wonderful debut Monday against Milwaukee, no runs and one hit over six innings, I wrote my story, about 1,000 words.

I finished and prepared to send it to the paper. But before I hit ‘copy’ on my computer, I hit ‘paste.’ Poof. The story was gone, hiding somwhere in my laptop like somebody in the Witness Protection Program.

I know it resides somewhere in my MacBook Pro, but after futilely trying to find it for a half hour, I gave up.

Only one thing to do. Write it again. And when that happens, the re-write is never as good as the original.;

It is so hellish getting as old as the Ancient Mariner.

 

 

 

 

 

 

By Hal McCoy

UNSOLICITED OBSERVATIONS from The Man Cave, wondering if, like me, the Cincinnati Reds front office is pinching itself to make sure we aren’t dreaming.

—ONE, THE LONELIEST NUMBER: When the season began, it looked as if the Cincinnati Reds were destined to lose nearly every one-run game they played. They lost seven of their first eight one-run games.

But now, with their recent startling success, they are welcoming one-run games like a kid offered an ice cream cone with sprinkles. They won the first two games in Fenway Park over the Boston Red Sox, 9-8 and 5-4, and are now 10-12 in one-run extravaganzas.

Their 10 one-run victories are behind only Miami (16) and Tampa Bay (11) and tied with they New York Yankees (10).

The Tampa Bay Rays are 40-18 and 10 those 18 losses were by one run. On the flip side, 11 of the 40 wins have been by one run. Despite 21 one-run decisions, the Rays have outscored their opponents by 119 runs.

The Miami Marlins are 16-4, on pace to eclipse the all-time best in one-run games, the 2016 Texas Rangers (36-11).

This doesn’t fall into the one-run category, but it is an insane statistic. The Oakland A’s, maybe the worst team in MLB history, are 12-46, Of those 12 wins, five have been walk-offs, tied with the Yankees for most walk-off wins this season.

—QUOTE: From former pitcher/broadcaster Steve Stone: “This game is won 90 feet at a time.” (That’s true, Steve, but as you should know as a former pitcher, there is 60 feet, six inches that wins and loses, too.)

—ON THE CLOCK: The pitch clock is working like clockwork, just the way MLB wanted. The average time of game last season was 3:03. This season it is 2:38, a 25-minute speed-up.

The quickest so far are the Cleveland – – – – dians, 2:33, aided by the fact they’ve played 25 one-run games. The slowest? The agonizingly awful Oakland A’s, who take 2:47 to lose game after game after game.

Cincinnati Reds game average 2:39, the 18th fastest (or slowest, depending upon your viewqoint0. But during their five-game winning streak, the games have taken 3:02, 3:12, 3:15, 2:57 and 2:41. So, it is take your time and win.

—RYAN NEVER DID IT: Former Cincinnati Enquirer sports writer John Erardi has a delightful piece in the latest Hall of Fame magazine, ‘Memories and Dreams.’

The story recounts the 1934 All-Star game when Carl Hubbell used his left-handed screwball to strike out five straight power-packed American Leaguers.

In order, he whiffed Babe Ruth, Lou Gehrig, Jimmy Foxx, Al Simmons and Joe Cronin, all eventual Hall of Famers.

Later in life, Hubbell was asked if he thought Nolan Ryan might match his feat in an All-Star game. Said Hubbell, “Well, it would be kinda hard to answer that because Nolan won’t be pitching against Ruth, Gehrig, Foxx, Simmons and Cronin.”

Touche.

Nolan never whiffed five All-Stars in a row, but Los Angeles Dodgers pitcher Fernando Valenzuela did it in the 1986 game in the Houston Astrodome. In order, he struck out Don Mattingly, Cal Ripken, Jesse Barfield, Lou Whitaker and Teddy Higuera.

Ironically, like Hubbell, Valenzuela featured the difficult screwball, a pitch that took a terrible toll on arms. On the screwball, instead of pronating the wrist to the inside, it is thrown by twisting the wrist outwardly.

Tom Browning featured the screwball and broke his arm throwing the pitch in old San Diego-Jack Murphy Stadium and was never the same.

—HOW FAR DID IT GO?: In the same publication, Steve Wulf wrote about one of baseball’s most famous home runs. . .Reggie Jackson’s down-range rocket in the 1971 All-Star gam in Detroit’s Tiger Stadium. It cleared the second deck and crashed into a light tower that prevented it from landing on Michigan Avenue.

Some Wayne State University professors pulled out their slide rules and said if the ball hadn’t dented the light tower it would have traveled 650 feet. Is that humanly possible?

Jackson was not even supposed to be there. Twins outfielder Tony Oliva hurt his knee and Jackson was asked to get to Detroit to take Oliva’s place. Before Jackson left, his Oakland teammate, Sal Bando, told him, “Whatever you do, don’t embarrass us. I hope you’re not flying 2,000 miles just to strike out.”

Instead, Jackson hit one that could have knocked down an airplane. Actually, Cincinnati’s Johnny Bench was behind the plate and called the pitch that Jackson connected on against Dock Ellis. Said Bench, “You can take all the home runs you’ve ever seen and throw them in a bag. There’s never been one like that one before.”

—QUOTE: From Hall of Fame baseball player Reggie Jackson: “Sometimes I underestimate the magnitude of me.” (If there was an Ego Award, Reggie Jackson would have won every year and retired the trophy.)

—ONE WISE FLYER: Somebody, probably his parents, gave DaRon Holmes II some sage advice. On the last day he had to make a decision, Holmes decided to forego the NBA draft and return to the University of Dayton.

He was projected as a second-round draft pick. But those who watched him all year, saw him as a man among boys on the collegiate level, but he would be a boy among men in the NBA.

And nobody is happier than the Flyer Faithful. To them, he couldn’t be a bigger hero than if he found Big Foot and the Loch Ness Monster on the same day.

—NASCAR’S ‘BUMPER CARS’: NASCAR drivers seem to think when they race they are in those bumper cars at an amusement park. They don’t think twice, not even once, about purposely wrecking a competitor at 200 miles an hour in fits of childish rage.

They probably feel safe doing it because their stock cars are so safe that even when they disintegrate into bits and pieces after hitting a wall or other cars, the drivers usually walk away unscathed.

Still, grown men purposely wrecking a competitor is head-shaking. Popular driver Chase Elliott drew a one-race suspension for intentionally wrecking Denny Hamlin in retaliation for a Hamlin misdeed earlier in the Coca-Cola 600 at Charlotte Motor Speedway.

Wouldn’t it be wonderful if manufacturers produced the cars that NASCAR builds that protects drivers like the shell of a turtle?

—QUOTE: From NASCAR driver Chase Elliott: “You have to take whatever situation is thrown at you and make the best decision at the time.” (His decision at Charlotte on Memorial Day weekend was to play Demolition Derby with Denny Hamlin.)

—NBA FINALS (HO-HUM): Anybody who is interested in and will watch the NBA finals between the Miami Heat and the Denver Nuggets please raise a hand.

Put your hand down unless you can name two players on the Heat and two players on the Nuggets. Uh, Jimmy Butler and Nikola Jokic. . .hey, where’s LeBron James? That’s what I thought.

And there is the NHL finals between the Florida Panthers and Las Vegas Golden Knights. Tha’ts swamp vs. desert. Where’s the ice?

—QUOTE: From former football coach Lou Holtz: “Nobody ever drowned in sweat.” (And nobody ever drowned in a hockey arena when the ice melted.)

By Hal McCoy

UNSOLICITED OBSERVATIONS from The Man Cave after watching The Cincinnati Reds lose a game to Philadelphia in the ninth and win a game from Philadelphia in the ninth. As Yogi Berra once said, “It ain’t over ’til it’s over.”

—WHAT A NO-NO: The Chattanooga Lookouts, Cincinnati’s Class AA affiliate, had a no-hitter thrown against them last week. Big deal? So what? Happens all the time.

Well, not this way. The quaintly-named Rocket City Trash Pandas threw the no-hitter, but lost to Chattanooga. Not only did they lose, they lost by 7-5. You can’t make this trash up.

How does a team score seven runs without a hit? Hey, the Lookouts scored all seven in one inning, the seventh, to win, 7-5. In the seventh, there were five walks, four hit batsmen (three in a row), an error and a wild pitch.

I’ve seen several Little League games played the same way.

All this begs the question, what in the name of nicknames is a Trash Panda? And where is Rocket City. A trash panda is another name for a raccoon, a mammal that likes to dig in trash and resembles a panda bear with its markings. There is a Trash Pandas Waste Management company in Vancouver, B.C. (Canada). But the baseball Trash Pandas play in Madison, Alabama.

So In Alabama you have Roll Tide and Roll Trash.

—HOMER HAVENS: It was like, “Tell me something I don’t know” when BaseballSavant.com revealed in which MLB park it was easiest to hit a home run over the last three seasons.

All together now: “Great American Ball Park.” Yep. That was easy. Now, which park is No. 2? Coors Field? Nope. That’s way down in sixth place.

Number Two is Philadelphia’s Citizens Bank Park. Then cames whatever they call the place the Chicago White Sox play in. Surprisingly, number four is Dodger Stadium. And way down at number ten is Yankee Stadium and its short porch in right field.

—ONE HUNDRED GRAND: It was a mere 60 years ago when on a chilld February day in 1963 that Mickey Mantle and Roger Maris signed their one-year contracts on the same day.

Mantle signed for $100,000 and Maris signed for $70,000. At the time, the $170,000 was the most money made by two players on one team.

While $100,000 translates to $983,000 in today’s money, Mantle still was vastly underpaid. The average MLB salary last year was $4.9 million.

On the day Mantle signed his $100,000 deal, New York Yankees club president Dan Topping said, “We are glad to be able to play Mantle this salary and we hope there will be other Yankees in the future who will warrant $100,000 a year.”

Oh, if he only knew.

**Speaking of money grubbing, there are 780 players on MLB rosters and 158 make $10 million or more this season. Why did my mama raise a writer instead of a player?

—OF HEAVY BALLS: Useless knowledge one acquires by being curious. . .or nosey.

Did you know that the Japanese baseball is smaller and lighter than the American baseball? The balls used in Japan are 22.9 centimeters in circumference to 23.5 for the U.S. ball. And the Japanese ball weighs 141.7 grams to 148.8 for the U.S. ball.

In addition, the stitches on a Japanese ball are lower, making it more difficult to grip. But the covers on Japanese balls are of a texture so that they don’t need to rub them with river mud like thy do the slick U.S. balls.

Save all this for a trivia contest.

—LIKE FINE WINE: They call the National League ‘The Senior Circuit’ because it is older than the American League. But when it comes to MLB managers, both leagues are ‘The Senior Circuit.’

That’s because out of the 30 MLB managers, seven are 61 years or older. Dusty Baker (Houston) is 73, Bruce Bochy (Texas) is 67, Brian Snitke (Atlanta) is 67, Buck Showalter (New York Mets is 66, Bud Black (Colorado) is 65, Terry Francona (Cleveland) is 63 and Bob Melvin (San Diego) is 61.

They all have a long way to go to catch Connie Mack, who was 88 when he quit managing. But he continued. He turned managing the Philadephia Athletics to his son and he continued as club president.

Baker, though, takes umbrage at references to his age. “Just remember,” he says. “I’m a cool 73.”

—QUOTE: From Hall of Famer George Brett: “We’ll have a woman president before Wade Boggs is ever called out on strikes.” (Go see Ron Luciano about that, George.)

—STRIKING BACK: Ron Luciano is one of my favorite all-time umpires because he was hilarious and never took himself seriously, even on the field.

He described in his excellent and humorous book, ‘The Umpire Strikes Back,’ that former Boston Red Sox slugger Jim Rice was the strongest player he saw. Luciano hated to be the third base umpire when Rice batted.

“He was a right-handed pull-hitter so when he gets up the third base area suddenly becomes the most undesirable plot of real estate imaginable. Swamps are more attractive,” said Luciano. “I’d stand 60 feet behind third base and if he hit a ball anywhere close I’d wave a white hankie at him.”

—QUOTE: From former MLB umpire Tom Gorman: “Any time I had a ‘bang-bang’ play at first base, I always called ‘em out. It made the game shorter.” (If he did it now, replay/review would slow it back down.)

—ANOTHER MR. PERFECT: Former Wright State University pitcher Jesse Scholtens was called up to The Show this week by the Chicago White Sox. He joins former WSU catcher Sean Murphy (Atlanta Braves) in the big leagues.

While at Wright State, Scholtens threw a perfect game against the Uniersity of Dayton.

—CHECKING THE EX’S: While former Reds outfielder Nick Castellanos was breaking a 0 for 13 skid with two doubles during Philadelphia’s Opening Day win over the Reds, some other ex-Reds were shining.

Sonny Gray pitched Opening Day in Minnesota and went seven innings, givig up one run and four hits while striking out a career-best 13. And the game ended in the 10th-inning with Kyle Farmer’s walk-off bases loaded single.

Connor Joe had a sip of coffee with the Reds one spring training and is now Pittsburgh’s regular left fielder. On Friday, he had four hits and that included three doubles in the Pirates’ 13-9 win over the Chicago White Sox.

And did you see what Luis Castillo did in his first two starts? His 2023 debut versus the Cleveland – – – – dians was six innings, no runs, one hit. Then against the Los Angeles Angels (Shohei Ohtani, Mike Trout).

Nick Castellanos was a pain in the poster of the Reds during a couple of losses in Philadelphia. And Adam Duvall is staging his own tea party in Boston.