LBy Hal McCoy
UNSOLICITED OBSERVATIONS from The Man Cave anxiously waiting for the Cincinnati Reds season to end so I can concentrate on the Cleveland Browns — in other words, going from one disappointment to another disappointment.
—A FASHION FAUX PAS: Nobody loves sunglasses more than I and eight pairs live in one of my office desk drawers.
And I always have a pair on hand to wear. That’s wear. That’s to keep the sun’s glare out of my eyes.
I don’t wear them on top of the brim of my hat. I know that’s a fashion statement because I see baseball players wearing them thatl way on the field.
That was the case this week when Cincinnati Reds outfielders TJ Friedl and Dane Myers converged on a fly ball with two outs in the ninth inning. Catch the ball and the game is over and the Reds win, 5-4.
Friedl, though, lost it in the sun and Myers sprinted over from center field screaming for the ball. It hit the tip of his glove and squirted away. Two runs scored and the Reds eventually lost, 10-9.
Now, the mind boggler. Both Friedl and Myers had sunglasses resting on top of the bills on their hats. Not over their eyes.
Why? The sun was bright. Sunglasses were needed to cover their eyes. But, hey, they looked good. They were fashionable.
And whatever happened to those flip-down sun glasses they used to wear. When a fly ball headed an outfielder’s way, he could tap his hat and the sunglasses flipped down in front of his eyes.
OK, yeah, they looked goofy, even nerdy. Not fashionable. They just kept fielders from dropping fly balls and losing games.
They should be required to listen to ZZ Top’s ‘Sunglasses.’
—WOE IS WAR: In baseball (and life), I go back to the days of Packard cars, Philco TVs and the Veg-o-Matic.
On TV commercials, the Veg-o-Matic slogan was, “It slices, it dices,” mostly your fingers.
If I had a Veg-o-Matic, I’d feed it all those nerd-driven nebulous statistics like WAR.
WAR? Back in the days of the Packard, Philco and Veg-o-Matic, WAR meant one things — Korea and Vietnam.
Baseball WAR? It means Wins Against Replacement, whatever the hell that means.
What frosts my baseballs is that the abrasive analytics people who do nothing but fiddle with figures and their fingers, are using their made-up whimsical WAR crap to disparage Sal Stewart.
They calculate a higher WAR figure for St. Louis rookie JJ Wetherholt than Stewart, so that means Wetherhold and not Stewart should be Rookie of the Year.
Pshaw and balderdash. Stewart’s pure numbers — home runs and RBI dwarf Wetherholt’s.
And defense? It’s a wash. Stewart made an error playing second base Thursday, only his third error. Wetherholt has made two.
Wetherholt plays mostly second base, with a handful of appearances at shortstop. One never knows, game-by-game, where Stewart will be — first base, third base or second base?
He has played them all and played them with Gold Glove capabilities.
WAR? Woefully Absurd Rationale.
—SMALL PAUL: Singer Jack Scott sang a song entitled, “What In The World’s Come Over You?” It’s a song PIittsburgh Pirates fans connect to pitcher Paul Skenes.
Just a year ago, Skenes was unhittable, at the top of the pitcher’s population. Now? He’s just another Paul Assenmacher or Paul Foytack.
Over his last 10 starts, righthanded batters are hitting .347 against him. . .and he’s righthanded.
His start Wednesday against Detroit lasted only 4 1/3 innings and he gave up three runs, four hits and four walks.
His record is 9-11 with a 3.95 earned run average and there is evidence something is amiss and he probably should be shut down the rest of this season.
During a short outing (62) pitches against Detroit, his fastball averaged 95.8 miles per hour. It averaged 98.8 his rookie season and 98.1 last season.
—I FOR ME: Catcher Harry Chiti played for the Chicago Cubs when he was 17 years old. That’s amazing enough.
Chiti was the first MLB player to be traded for himself. In 1962 the Cleveland Indians traded him to the expansion New York Mets for a player to be named later.
After he played only 15 games for the Mets, they sent him back to Cleveland as the player to be named later, meaning he was traded for himself.
It has happened three times since with Brad Gulden, also a catcher, Dickie Noles and John McDonald, all traded for themselves.
Gulden played for the Cincinnati Reds in 1984, but that isn’t when he was traded for himself. That was in 1980 when he was traded by the New York Yankees to Seattle for the PTBNL.
In May of 1981, he was sent back to New York as the PTBNL. . .traded for himself.
Why is a trade like that called, “A player to be named later?’ The players already have names — Harry, Brad, Dickie and John. Why isnit it, “A player to be designated later?”
I stay awake thinking this stuff up.
—TRUE OR FALSE?: This story unfolded long before Barry Bonds filled his body with PEDs, which he really didn’t need.
It was 1986 and Syd Thrift, general manager of the Pittsburgh Pirates, was checking out the team’s Triple-A team, the Hawaii Islanders.
He watched Bonds pull five straight balls over the right field wall and Thrift said to Bond, “Any good hitter can do that, I’d like to see you hit some over the left field wall.”
Thrift said Bonds then hit five in a row over the left field wall and said, “Is that good enough for you?”
Thrift immediately put him on a plane to Pittsburgh and, according to Thrift, Bonds’ first five home runs he hit in Pittsburgh were over the left field wall.”
Five, five and five? Sounds mighty suspicious. And having known Syd Thrift, the story may be apocraphal or even a flat-out fabrication, but it makes for a good story.
—TRIVIA TIME: Stuff that stuffs my already cluttered brain:
—They made a big deal out of Milwaukee’s 22-0 win over Seattle as the biggest margin of victory ever for a shutout, but c’mon. . .the last nine runs were scored against position player Leo Riva.
As the Lo$ Angele$ Dodger$ are discovering, be careful on what you spent you endless supply of money.
—Kyle Tucker, the $240 million investment, recently went 0 for 25 and dropped routine play balls in back-to-back games. And closer Edwin Diaz, acquired at the trade deadline, gave up runs in six of his first eight LA appearances.
The boos from Dodger Stadium could be heard on the Pismo Beach Pier.
—QUOTE MACHINE: Baseball people say the darndest and greatest things:
—FROM Hall of Fame broadcaster Vin Scully: “Roberto Clemente could field a ball in New York and throw out a runner in Pennsylvania.”
—FROM Barry Bonds, a supernova player in Pittsburgh, but hit only .191 in post-season games for the Pirates: “Just call me Mr. July.”
—FROM former MLB first baseman Keith Hernandez, talking about dealing with baseball writers: “Don’t tangle with people who buy their ink by the barrel.”
—PLAYLIST NUMBER 201: As singer Mick Jagger put it: “You can play music forever. It’s not like playing baseball.
—How Great Thou Art (Elvis Presley), I Love A Rainy Night (Eddie Rabbitt), Sentimental Lady (Bob Welch), Under Pressure (Queen), That’s What I’m Talking About (John Michael Montgomery), Suspicion (Terry Stafford), We’ll Sing In The Sunshine (Gayle Garnett).
—Last Kiss (Jay Frank Wilson & The Cavaliers), Unbelievable (EMF), Raindrops (Dee Clark), You Are So Beautiful (Joe Cocker), The Son Of A Preacher Man (Dusty Springfield), The Last Time (Rolling Stones), Can’t Get Enough Of Your Love, Babe (Barry White).