By Hal McCoy
UNSOLICITED OBSERVATIONS from The Man Cave counting down the days on my fingers and my toes and Nadine’s fingers and toes until spring training.
—WHAT’S IN A (NICK)NAME: Somebody asked who was the player Pete Rose nicknamed ‘Eye Chart.’ I vaguely remembler him doing that, but the player’s name escapes me.
There were three players nicknamed ‘Eye Chart’ for obvious reasons: Doug Mientkiswicz, Mark Rzepczyski and Doug Gwosdz.
With that in mind, beginning with Charlie Hustrle, my favorite all-time Cincinnati Reds Nicknames:
Spuds (Chris Sabo), Dat Dude (Brandon Phillips), True Creature (Ron Robinson), The Snozz (Ernie Lombardi), The Big Donkey (Adam Dunn), Mr. Perfect (Tom Browning), Doggie (Tony Perez), Chief (Cesar Geronimo), Magoo (Dave Concepcion), The Mayor (Sean Case), Cuban Missile (Aroldis Chapman).
Scooter (Ryan Gennett), Bubbles (Eugene Hargraves), Noodles (Frank Hahn), Bid (John McPhee), Dummy (William Hoy), The Whip (Ewell Blackwell).
They don’t name ‘em like that any more.
—LEO THE LIP: When Leo Durocher managed the New York Giants, he was asked to name the five strongest players in MLB at the time.
After he gave the man his list, the man said, “You left Ted Kluszewski off the list.”
To that, Durocher said, “Ted Kluszewski? I’m talking about human beings here.”
What Durocher didn’t realize is that while Big Klu was stronger than two oxen on steroids, he was the nicest man one could meet. He knew his own strength and didn’t use it to snap a writer like me into three pieces.
—UECKER-ISM: It was during one of Bob Uecker’s many appearances on Johnny Carson’s ‘Tonight Show.’ At the time, the Washington Senators were about to re-locate in Texas as the Rangers.
Carson asked Uecker what he thought about the move and Uecker dead-panned one of the most intelligent things I ever heard when he said, “I think they should keep the team and move Washington.”
—FINDING JOSH ALLEN: Kansas City coach Andy Reid is a quiet, down-to-earth guy and a great coach, witness his two straight Super Bowl championships.
And it would be nice to see him three-peat, but c’mon, how many, like me, are tired of Patrick Mahomes, Travis Kelce and Taylor Swift.
Remember when the Buffalo Bills lost four straight Super Bowls. And they’ve never won one. So. . .Go Bills and quarterback Josh Allen.
I saw Allen play a game for the University of Wyoming in Laramie in War Memorial Stadium, the highest stadium above sea level in college football (7,222 feet).
When I came back to Dayton, I told everybody, “I saw this quarterback slinging the football around the Rockie Mountains like a pebble. He is going to be a star in the NFL, if the scouts can find him.”
Everybody scoffed and said, “Wyoming? Nah.”
Well, the Buffalo Bills found him and didn’t even thank me for the scouting report.
—THE ‘D’ IS SILENT: Former Dayton channel 2 news director and current President of the Dayton Agonis Club Mark Alan grew up in South Bend and logically is a life-long Notre Dame fan.
And he came up with a great line when Notre Dame fell behind Ohio State, 31-7, in the national championship game.
At that point, Allan said, “They are Notre Ame because there is no ‘D’ in their game.”
—NO BOOKWORM: Just before New Year’s Eve, University of Dayton point guard Malachi S,otj was asked if he had any resolutions for the new year.
“Yes,” he said. “I’m going to read some books.”
After UD’s win over Saint Joseph’s Friday night, Smith was asked if he had read any books.
“Yeah, I said I was gonna start reading books,” he said. “Naw, I haven’t started. I haven’t started reading, but I’m gonna start, I’m gonna start, I’m gonna start.”
Wait a minute here. To get a degree don’t you have to read at least one book? OK, at least a couple of chapters of one book? And ‘The Book of Basketball’ by Bill Simmons doesn’t count.
—CASH ON THE BENCH: So the University of Kentucky can pay a player what is rumored to be $1.2 million and have him sit on the bench at crunch time?
It appears so. UK led Vanderbilt, 69-68, Saturday afternoon with three minutes to go. And Koby Brea, the best three-point shooter on the planet, was sitting on the bench in his warm-up pull-over.
And he stayed there while Vandy launched a run to grab a 74-69 lead. When it was hopeless, with 24 seconds left, he was sent in. There is no six-point basket in basketball and UK lost, 74-69..
—A HUNTING TIP: Just remember, if you and a buddy are hunting and you are suddenly chased by a bear, you don’t have to outrun the bear. Just make sure you outrun your buddy.
—PLAYLIST NUMBER 141: As cellist/composer Pau (Pablo) Casals put it: “Music is the divine way to tell beautiful, poetic things to the heart.”
—Say You, Say Me (Lionel Richie), Green River (Credence Clearwater Revival), The Longest Time (Billy Joel), Little Lies (Fleetwood Mac), She Believes In Me (Kenny Rogers), Take It On The Run (REO Speedwagon), The One I Love (REM).
—Runaway (Del Shannon), I Guess That’s Why They Call It The Blues (Elton John), Old Time Rock And Roll (Bob Seger), Dancing In The Moonlight (King Harvest),