By Hal McCoy
UNSOLICITED OBSERVATIONS from The Man Cave and if you are at the Holiday At Home parade in Kettering Monday morning, please wave as I ride by in the back of an El Camino right behind grand marshal Gary Sandy.
—XXXXXXX: It is time for baseball commissioner Rob Mafraud, or somebody, to banish position players from pitching.
It is a total farce and turns a baseball game into Comedy Central.
The latest example was Cincinnati Reds catcher Luke Maile’s lob ‘em in performance Friday night. He entered the game with the Reds down 8-0 in the ninth inning.
His first two pitches were ripped for a triple and a double and he later gave up a home run. Before getting the final two outs, he gave up six runs and six hits, five in a row.
They might as well let the batters toss the ball up in the air and fungo hits all over the park because that’s what the Brewer did to Maile.
What is so embarrassing about it all is that it was the fourth time this season manager David Bell cried uncle and sent Maile to the mound.
It is sort of like an NFL team sending its punter to play quarterback when the team is down 49-0 late in the fourth quarter.
—QUOTE: From the movie ‘Little Big Man:’ “Baseball was made for kids and grown-ups only screw it up.” (The commissioner’s office is Exhibit A, B and Z.)
—FAR, FAR AWAY: Another reason why it can always be worse, even for Cincinnati Reds fans. The Chicago ShySox are 38games behind. . .behind fourth place Detroit Tigers.
The ShySox (31-106) need the Hubble Space Telescope to see the tail-lights of the first-place Cleveland Guardians, 46 1/2 games away.
In addition to their historic 21-game losing streak, the Shysox have lost 14 straight, eight straight (current), seven straight, six straight, five straight and four straight six times.
What do the Shysox have to play for? Well, the 120-loss New York Mets finished only 18 games behind the next-to-last Chicago Cubss and 60 1/2 games behind National League champion San Francisco (There were no divisions in ’62).
Their longest winning streak? Four straight and, believe it or not, they weren’t against the Northwestern University softball team.
—QUOTE: From ShySox outfielder Andrew Benintendi after the team lost it’s 100th game: “We’ve talking about it all year but at this point it is like beating a dead horse.” (The ShySox horse would have been sent to the glue factory two month ago.)
—UP ON THE ‘HILL’: When the Red Sox want tosign pitcher Rich Hill, all they need to do is call
him and play Dave Loggins’ ‘Please Come To Boston.’
Hill has signed with Boston four different times and he hasn’t missed many teams during his 20 year career.
His stops: Chicago Cubs, Baltimore, Boston (1), Cleveland, Toronto, Los Angeles Angels, New York Yankees, Boston (2) Oakland, Los Angeles Dodgers, Minnesota, Tampa Bay, New York Mets, Boston (3) , Pittsburgh, San Diego, Boston (4).
That’s 13 different teams for the 44-year-old and how in the name of Cy Young has he missed the Cincinnti Reds, the kings of retread pitchers.
It shows that if you are lefthanded, can stand upright on the mound and can breathe through your nose, some MLB team has a pitching roster spot for you.
Hill is one shy of tying the record for most different uniforms worn. Edwin Jackson pitched for 14 teams and did it in 17 years. And somehow he, too, missed the Reds.
—QUOTE: From Nolan Ryan, who pitched into his late 40s and makes Rich Hill seem like a kid: “You are not defeated when you lose. You’re defeated when you quit.” (And Ryan and Hill don’t know the meaning of the word quit.)
—DOUBLING UP ON HOMERS: Where to they find this stuff. When Milwaukee’s Willy Adames and William Conntreras both him home runs in both ends of Friday’s doubleheader against the Reds, it matched something that had only been done once.
They were only the second teammates to hit home runs in both ends of a doubleheader, matching two guys from the same team. Brewers Robin Younr and Rob Deer in 1989.
Of course, doubleheaders are rare these days, but they used to play ‘em every Sunday and holidays And they were true back-to-back games, one admission.
Now doubleheaders are usually split, one early in the day, one at night and the stadium is cleared after one game and fans are charged to get back in for the second game.
And another one. When Oakland’s Lawrence Butler hit three home runs in a game last week against the Reds, it was his second three-homer game of the season.
Only one person had ever hit three homers in a game three times in one season, Sammy Sosa in 2001.
Mookie Betts owns six three-homer games and counting, tied with 10-time All-Star Johnny Mize for the most.
—QUOTE: Pitcher Jim Maloney, whom I consider the best Reds pitcher ever, on catcher Johnny Bench: “He would come to the mound and treat me like a two-year-old, but so help me I liked it.” (At least he didn’t catch your fastball barehanded like he did to Gerry Arrigo.)
—PLAY AND PRAY: Ohio State entered its season opener against the University of Akron as 48 1/2-point favorites. The Zips were 2-10 last year.
The Buckeyes nearly covered the spread (52-6, but not that impressive) and Akron returned home with $600,00 appearance check and an injured quarterback that may be out for the season..
Just 10 miles from Akron is the campus of Kent State and the Golden Flashes sold their souls this year for the almighty dubloons.
Kent State was willing to travel to Pittsburgh (55-24 loss), Tennessee and Penn State and take three beatings and return home with $3.1 million for being cannon fodder.
In 2019, Miami of Ohio was the play-for-pay-and-pray victims at Ohio State. Miami, though, quickly scored a safety and a field goal and led, 5-0, with 7 1/2 minutes left in the first quarter.
Miami athletic director David Sayler, sensing the inevitable, snapped a picture of the scoreboard for posterity: ‘Miami 5, OSU 0.’
Final score: OSU 76, Miami 5. Sayler snapped no additional photos.
And did Ohio State’s NIL people actually spend $20 million to their multitude of transfers?
—94 AND MORE: An excellent read is the book
Larry Doby In Black And White, the autobiography of the first black player in the American League.
It is written by Jerry Izenberg, who is 94 and still writing a sports column and books. Izenberg is a fabulous story-teller and said, “I don’t want to take any stories with me to the grave.”
I’m 84 and feel the same way, Jerry.
Izenberg is a fearless writer, not afraid to criticize the high and mighty when necessary and he said, “And I tell ‘em I’ll go to hell and I’ll write what I want.”
And I’m with you on that one, too, Jerry. Rock on.
—PLAYLIST NUMBER 87: Looking for songs in all the wrong places:
Paint It Black (The Rolling Stones), Time After Time (Cyndi Lauper), I Can Only Imagine (MercyMe), Open The Eyes Of My Heart (Paul Baloche), Leader Of The Band (Dan Fogelberg), Wildfire (Michael Murphy).
She’ Not There (The Zombies), Sunny Afternoon (The Kinks), It’s A Heartache (Bonnie Tyler), Paradise By The Dashboard (Meat Loaf), I Who Have Nothing (Tom Jones), Lookin’ Out My Back Door (John Fogarty), Authority Song (John Mellencamp).