OBSERVATIONS: A familiar face under Burrow’s carnage

By Hal McCoy

UNSOLICITED OBSERVATIONS from The Man Cave, wondering if baseball even exists because there is nothing about it in or on the media. . .and the NFL and NBA loves it.

—Joe Burrow passed for enough yardage Sunday to cover the distance between Peru and Paraguay (525 yards, four touchdowns) during a 41-21 victory.

On the other side was Baltimore’s third-string quarterback, 35-year-old Josh Johnson. He has played for 13 pro teams in the NFL, UFL, XFL and something called the Alliance of American Football (Los Angeles Wildcats).

Johnson is no stranger to University of Dayton football aficionados. He attended the University of San Diego, coached by Jim Harbaugh. In 2006, his junior year, he beat UD, 56-14. He passed for four touchdowns, ran for two touchdowns and caught a touchdown pass. He was 26 for 31 for 316 yards.

But payback is hell. The next year, in Welcome Stadium, the Flyers beat San Diego, 35-14. Johnson was 18 for 41 for 230 yards and two touchdowns. Meanwhile, UD quarterback Kevin Hoyng ran for 127 yards and two touchdowns and was 23 for 29 for 252 yards and two touchdowns.

Maybe the Ravens should have looked up Hoyng to play against the Bengals Sunday.

—QUOTE: From Cincinnati Bengals quarterback Joe Burrow: “If you got a good steak you don’t need A1 sauce.” (He’s right. Heinz 57 is much better and on Sunday Burrow put everything on the football but marshmallows.)

—COVID-19 and its variants are assaulting the country, once again turning the sports world topsy turvy.

What does that mean for the University of Dayton basketball team and the Atlantic 10 conference, which begins play Thursday?

Last November, when the pandemic was under control and vaccinations were administered, the Atlantic 10 came up with an edict that said any team unable to play a game due to COVID would forfeit and have an ‘L’ placed next to its name.

Now, as Lee Corso says on ESPN’s GameDay, “Not so fast, my friend.” A-10 athletic directors met last Monday and revised the edict. It is still a forfeit, but teams can reschedule the games and the forfeit will be expunged from the COVID-stricken team.

That, though, could lead to some shadowy decisions. Just, for example, say Davidson is unable to play Fordham and forfeits. The two AD’s communicate, but Fordham, unlikely to beat Davidson on the floor, keeps saying, “No, we can’t find a suitable date.”

From last Saturday through last Wednesday, ten games involving A-10 teams were3 canceled. That included Rhode Island, scheduled to open league play Thursday at home against Dayton. But, as of now, no A-10 teams are under quarantine or are in pause.

Said A-10 commissioner Bernadette McGlade, “The best way to describe where we’re at is the middle of the road. Is there a possibility we could reverse that (forfeit) decision? In full transparency, yes, but we have not rushed to make that decision.”

Believe it, COVID-19 waits for nobody and it will force a decision. . .soon.

—OK, so I have no life, or very little. That’s why I’ve watched nearly every convoluted and unnecessary bowl game played so far. Like:

*I watched San Diego State beat UTSA, 38-24, in the Miami Beach Bowl. UTSA obviously spent too much time on South Beach bikini-watching.

*I watched Tulsa beat Old Dominion, 30-17, in the Myrtle Beach Bowl. Tulsa played like a revved up Tesla and Old Dominion played like Old Frothingslosh.

*I watched Wyoming beat Kent State (my alma mother), 52-38, in the Famous Idaho Potato Bowl. Kent State ran out of spuds and was blinded by that dumb blue field and couldn’t catch Wyoming quarter back Levi Williams (200 yards rushing) if they were on motor scooters.

*I watched Louisiana beat Marshall, 36-21, in the New Orleans Bowl. The Thundering Herd turned out to be the Floundering Turd, as we always called them when I was at Kent State.

*I watched Utah State beat Oregon State, 24-13, in the Jimmy Kimmel LA Bowl. The game was about as funny as Kimmel, which is not very funny. And don’t call Utah State the Utes. Utah is the Utes. In fact, don’t call Utah State at all.

*I watched Army beat Missouri, 24-22, in the Lockheed Martin Armed Forces Bowl. I wore my fatigue jacket in honor of Army, but it made me fatigued. Actually, it was watching all these mindless games that made me fatigued.

*I watched Miami (Ohio) beat North Texas State, 27-14, in the Frisco Football Classic, where the Redskins, er, Redhawks beat the Not-so-Mean Green. Classic? Nothing classic about the first, and some say the last, Frisco Bowl.

°Even I have my limits. I refused to watch Ball State play Georgia State in the Camelia Bowl on Christmas Day. Bonus points if you knew the Camelia Bowl is in Montgomery, Ala. (Google told me.)

*But I’m still waiting for the Toilet Bowl in Flushing, N.Y.

—The University of Kentucky’s Oscar Tshierbwe captured a Rupp Arena record 28 rebounds against Western Kentucky. He outrebounded the entire WKU team, 28-27.

Tshierbwe has two choices: Buy some vowels or buy some consonants. He could borrow a few from the University of Dayton’s Mongolian recruit Enkhiin-Od Michael Sharavjamts.

—QUOTE: From former NBA star Moses Malone: “I never thought I’d lead the NBA in rebounding, but I got a lot of help from my teammates. They did a lot of missing.”

—Every offensive lineman in the NFL wants traded to the Arizona Cardinals. Quarterback Kyler Murray’s Christmas gifts to his offensive linemen: Golf clubs worth up to $4,000, personalized golf bags, golf hats, golf shirt and custom-fitting sessions for the golf clubs.

Murray obviously knows whom his body guards are and he may not get sacked the rest of the season. His linemen probably will risk murder raps to keep him upright.

—QUOTE: From legendary golf pro Arnold Palmer: “I have a tip that can take five strokes off anyone’s game. I It’s called an eraser.” (I always found a well-placed kick with a pair of size 12 FootJoys came in handy, too.)

—This is where the transfer portal is headed:

Shortly after the University of Wyoming beat Kent State in the Famous Idaho Potato Bowl, coach Craig Bohl posted a message on Twitter ‘advertising’ for a transfer quarterback.

His own quarter, Levi Williams, ran for 200 yards against Kent State, but has placed himself in the transfer portal.

Bohl can use two selling points: Buffalo Bills quarterback Josh Allen played at Wyoming and players coming to Laramie, Wyo. can eat all the buffalo meat they want.

—How come the Boston Red Sox and Chicago White Sox don’t know how to spell socks? (I had to get some baseball in here somewhere.) And why don’t the White Sox wear white socks?

How come everybody calls them the Houston Astros when they really are the Houston Astronauts or the Houston Astronomicals? (They should have been required to change their name to the Houston Cheetahs after the 2017 season.)

—People I don’t want to interview: Jim Harbaugh, Bill Belichick, Barry Bonds, Nick Saban, LeBron James, Tony LaRussa, Bruce Pearl, Gregg Popovich, Jeff Kent, Bob(by) Knight.

—QUOTE: From fitness trainer Jillian Michaels: “Unless you puke, faint or die, keep going.” (Can’t you keep going after you puke, once you clean up the mess?)

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